- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
Yes, I have. OCD won't let me let go of my mistakes. Even things that aren't necessarily bad I twist and turn in my head until it feels like I've done something unforgivable and I feel like I'll be forever marked by everything I've done wrong. And of course some things we do are genuinely bad, but in my experience OCD often blows such things out of proportion. I've thought much about how people without OCD react to their mistakes, but if they react like I do, everyone would go around feeling like the worst person ever. I doubt that, and besides, everyone can't be the worst at once :) I'm doing ERP therapy for it right now. I've done it before for other OCD themes and it works!
Good way of explaining it. I have told friends my story and several therapists and nobody has had a negative reaction. But the ocd says what if someone makes it worse than it was?
Oh yes I have real event ocd over something that happened as a boy. My NOCD therapist and erp therapy have helped me to realize that ocd is a liar. When we are children we do the best we can and as we learn we do better.
Thank you for sharing,in the back of my mind,I know this,and I feel really bad about it,I’m not sure how to approach it,just sit with it,or agree with it,that’s the part that always confuses me.
It’s okay to feel bad about it. We all do things we regret and would like to take back. But we can’t and we learned a valuable lesson from it then we can be assured we are being our best selves.
Then it starts with,is there anything else you did that you don’t remember?it’s like being a hamster on a wheel,and you can’t get off!
Yup I have the same struggle, and I opened up to someone without ocd once and she admitted to doing something she deeply regretted as a child too. I think that everyone has done something really weird/out of the ordinary before our brain was fully developed and we knew better. That’s just a part of being a child. I know I could never say what I did out loud but I know that I would NEVER dream of doing this now that I am mature and I understand right from wrong
Exactly- doing something as a child is a far cry from doing something as an adult. A child acts impulsively and with maturity we know better as adults.
17f I have a lot of events, but my main and my worst one which is absolutely fucking diabolical was done when I was 14 and repeated when I was 16. Everytime I post something about real event ocd here people are like you are probably didn't do anything that bad, and when they hear what I did they are like yeah that's bad. Someone even asked me if I'm autistic cause "it's crazy how you didn't realize that the thing ypu were doing was wrong at this age." And I kinda agree, like it's fucked up It's just that my event is bad. Doesn't mean I don't have real event ocd. You can have a reocd over the event that was bad, it doesn't mean the event wasn't that bad or you don't have recod. It's just people always expect it to be something innocent and it's not Even a healthy person would feel guilty over it, it's just that I had ocd my whole life and it's making the guilt absolutely destructive, like to the point when I sometimes have a hard time breathing when I think about it, I lost more than a year of life to it, almost checked myself out couple of times if I wasn't so scared of pain/failure, the event haunts me in my dreams, it's in my head 24/7 and I will never able to forgive myself. That ocd. But the event itself was bad. So maybe i deserve it.
Hello 😭, so uhm I’m kind of in the point of my POCD where I’m just tired. I just need to get it all out and get some sort of instruction of how to just idk live? So for me my childhood is pretty blurry. I have a few real event blended with false memory events there but other than that I’m a csa victim. And the way I tried to cope? By fetishising nyself, making CP of myself, seeing my life goal as being used, raped and a prostitue. Self destructive behaviour through talking to pedophiles and seeing my only worth as if I was sexually attractive. Which made me kind of numb to CP as a coping mechanism I guess. And heres’s where my main event of REOCD/false memory ocd comes in. I have a few events in my life when I’ve accidentally stumbled across CP ish mangas or just plan abuse and not had a big reaction. Some of them I even liked the story. And my ocd LOVES playing with it, making me truly believe I enjoy and get of from CP. I’ve also had quite a few dreams. A few days ago I had a dream about me getting triggered by something I did in the dream. Which I now can’t figure out if it actually was a dream. But also moments overall where I’ve unintentionally touched my private part while my siblings are in the room or when I found a guy 2 years younger than me pretty in 4th grade. Or a few of my only friends who turned out to be younger than me, and I had talked about sexual things (like fan fictions, my trauma ect) with them. AHSHB I absolutely hate ruminating and I’m tired so so so so so so tried 😭 idk help me? Please TT
Hi everyone, I'm struggling with what I think are intrusive thoughts, possibly related to OCD, and I'm hoping someone here might relate. When I was younger, in my early teens, I went through a period where I had a strong interest in pornography. During that time, I encountered hentai involving male characters, related to an anime I enjoyed. One of the characters was someone I even looked up to. I feel incredibly uncomfortable admitting this, but I believe I engaged in sexual activity related to it. Years later, I'm plagued by intrusive thoughts about this. I feel intense self-disgust and shame. It's like this memory has "tainted" my ability to enjoy that anime, and sometimes other things. I'm constantly replaying the situation in my mind, questioning my past actions, and worrying about what it means about me. The anxiety is significantly impacting my life. Does anyone else experience intrusive thoughts focused on past events, particularly those that cause feelings of shame or disgust? How do you cope with the constant replaying and questioning? I'm looking for support and understanding. Thank you for listening.
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