I was having a thought and I'm not sure if it was bad or no. My brother was sleeping on the couch and Idk if I was thinking about playing with his cheeks or basically annoy him or actually had this entirely different bad thought which had nothing to do with playing with his cheecks that included my crush or anyone from school (I mean sexual thoughts) but then I turned to him while having the thought or maybe after and felt as if I was actually gonna do whatever I was thinking but I turned away then (the thought was definitely sexual or included rape so I'm terrified) I had all my themes recently on my crush and I always say I don't want it to be about him but today I sort of confessed my feeling through a friend and it didn't turn out well and I feel like maybe I actually meant it that way because I was feeling angry or sad. And I was sitting with my brother outside and he wanted t sit next to me but I said no and I tried to scratch him and I feel it was in a sexual way. Now I was also trying to turn the water on and a bad thought caneso I said I'll do it again and this time I had similar bad thought but about my other brother (I don't wanna explain it but it's about man part sizes) I'm going insane

Youre okay, I used to worry that I meant it too. That's part of the obsession. If you feel a compulsion to do something like you mentioned, you have to refuse to do it. Like in your case you should purposefully wait until after six to send the message. It's going to be uncomfortable but really it can't be worse than what you're already feeling. You basically need to retrain your brain. The less you do the compulsions (avoiding all sex related things) the more it teaches your brain that nothing bad actually happens as a result of not following through with the compulsion, so the obsession will lessen I PROMISE you

That's a classic ocd thing - sexualized thoughts. I used to have them about family and animals. The best course of action is to stop ruminating when you get these intrusive thoughts. Say you hug your brother, then your brain asks you did you feel attracted to him? Don't even answer the question. Allow the thought to pop up and then move on. Don't sit there and think about all the things you've said and done, just shrug and say whatever and then actively engage in a different activity. The thoughts come back but the more you refuse to engage, the less they come back

These are literally just thoughts. They mean absolutely nothing. Tons of people have intrusive sexual thoughts. Just because you have one doesn’t mean you will do it or want to do it. And just because it gives you anxiety doesn’t mean it’s true. And we convince ourselves that it is because we check over and over again to see how we feel or if it’s true and it’s just showing our brain we think it may be true or important and we start to believe it. You need to not do any compulsions to move past these thoughts. And having a thought, or even wanting to do something, hurts nobody. It’s just a thought or a want. Also I have no idea how scratching someone could be sexual lol.