- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
I’m so glad that you’re better. What themes were most difficult for you and how did you overcome them? Thank you for sharing your story. I don’t wish this on anyone either, it’s debilitating.
- Date posted
- 3y
Absolutely ridiculous, couldn’t look at my microwave, tying shoes, listening to music, looking at guys, looking at girls, eating or drinking, looking at signs, talking to people, meaningless words or phrases. I had it all, you have to understand too I am an outgoing popular guy, it was messed up. I am 100 percent now or say 98 percent but am happy. Even tried medication which doesn’t work because it lowers your willpower and subconsciously it was a compulsion. Let’s you feel no anxiety but all the compulsions.
- Date posted
- 3y
I got better by not doing erp purposely but instead lived my life as I normally would, let each thought flow to another and my biggest fears became my ally because I used those thoughts to flow through others. In the bigginning you will compulse every time but your actually getting better, it is your fight or flight response. Then it stops, the hardest thoughts you have to flex your abs and put pressure on your head to get through the worst, eventually you won’t need to do this and it’ll honest be annoying not intrusive.
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
Hey Anonymous, would you mind joining our discord server of other OCD sufferers? I think you’d make a huge impact on it and we need more people like you in it! https://discord.gg/UYJ4SWTB
- Date posted
- 3y
how can we stop the ruminating? also did you ever deal with pocd?😞
- Date posted
- 3y
Yes I dealt with that too, rumination as hard as it sounds is a choice the key is to keep anxiety levels low by letting thoughts flow. Seems impossible in the beginning, unfortunately when your in fight and flight mode I took a 3 days off work and walked around a reservoir for about 12 hours a day. Got my anxiety levels down and now the instantaneous compulsions didn’t happen. Sucks I know, hated this shit. It’s all about momentum, one compulsion takes about a week to heal. Tough odds but it’s the truth
- Date posted
- 3y
I deal a lot with harm ocd and false memories all I do is sit and wonder all day of the thoughts are real and if they were real I couldn’t live with myself. The only thing that helps me is time. My dad and mom keep telling me that if I did do something bad everyone would know about it but that doesn’t help. I feel like I’m the exception and I’m a bad person the thoughts feel so real I don’t know what to do
- Date posted
- 3y
Listen people love you right, this shit is destroying your life I know I was there , your attitude needs to change, the anxiety is ridiculous I know but you will be good soon when that anxiety Lowers I promise the rumination is the problem. If you do not ruminate you will have this thought less and less
- Date posted
- 3y
@Anonymous Everyone says rumination does that mean thinking about the thoughts all the time?
- Date posted
- 3y
Thoughts are not in control, but let them bet your ally, love them laugh about it, soon you actually might never get them again and if you do it’s super rare.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 23w
I have really started to take control of my compulsions and im starting to string together better days! Still not great days or even good, but they are better!!! I have controlled my outward compulsions (googling, research, reassurance, checking) the past couple of days and felt the positive impact of that. But unfortunately, I am realizing that the rumination is still constant. My sexuality and relationship are the only two things constantly on my brain, and if they aren’t I freak out and wonder why im not thinking about them! Anyone have any advice on how to deal with the rumination. Sometimes I don’t even notice im doing it, but it’s taking up 90% of my day. Once I start to tackle this I think I may make some real big progress! Hope everyone is fighting today! ❤️
- Date posted
- 22w
I want to get thought this weird horrible period, it has been horrible. I am doubting everything. I’m not diagnosed but when I look at my past I’ve always been horribly anxious and worrying about health, death and basically everything while suffering from major a lot of insecurities stemming from bullying and lately a lack of intimacy with my partner, Every time I think I’m on the way out, or see some light at the end of the tunnel my mind always pulls me back in. It’s torture. I’ve always been insecure about how I look and I find myself comparing myself at other males and it’s made my self esteem on the floor. I have a girlfriend and prior to this we had a future planned and talked about kids (we’re still young, but it felt so real), this all began to bubble when we stopped being intimate and the loss of my job. I don’t know anymore how to move on, every day feels like a chore. The intrusive thoughts telling me I’m in denial, constantly thinking about men I’ve felt insecure about their looks compared to mine wishing I looked like them plaguing my mind. The false attractions, prior to this i was comfortable in acknowledging good looking men. However now my mind takes this as evidence, every single thing in my past seems like some form of evidence. Not having male friends, the comparisons, being questioned about my sexuality from siblings. I’m sorry if this is reassurance, I am just needing to get some things of my chest. Every time I think about my first real attraction or girls I found pretty/attractive or I liked my mind is like your in denial and then I feel horrible about thinking those thoughts as I have my girlfriend. I miss just being with my girlfriend and not having these thoughts and feeling horrible. I feel like a fraud and a horrible partner. I’ve tried to accept maybe, maybe not, but something always comes back. These 4 months have been terrible. I want to sleep without horrible dreams, I want to eat. I want to feel like myself again. Thank you to anyone who reads this. Hope you’re strong too.
- Date posted
- 19w
I will preface by saying I am not diagnosed OCD, as I can't afford to see therapists or psychiatrists at this time. But given the things I've gone through, I'm pretty much convinced it's what I'm dealing with. I never really saw it coming. As a kid I always had health issues. Sick all the time, spent a lot of my very young years in and out of hospitals. In recent years as I've become an adult, health anxiety started creeping in. I spent my teenage years depressed, anxious and suicidal, both passively and actively. I engaged in self destructive behaviors in an attempt to end my life quicker. I left a toxic home environment and began my journey to improve my life, as I have a significant other that I want to stay on this planet for. I began lifting weights and exercising, eating better, and attempting to improve myself day by day. I didn't even realize it happening, but over time I started caring more and more about my health. Avoiding certain foods, making my diet stricter, and ensuring I did the right things. While it was good for my body in the short term, long term it seems it really affected my mental. As I started to feel better, I noticed that the times where I wasn't feeling 100% were very stressful. I'd start to worry about developing diseases. Diabetes, appendicitis, cancer, any number of rare and deadly diseases i could discover on Google. It got worse and worse as time went on. I'd spend money on things to test my body. glucose monitor, thermometer, supplements to ensure I was healthy. mental compulsions began (which i didn't know where compulsions at the time). Well, it all culminated at its peak in the last few months. Every minor bodily symptom, no matter how normal or common or frequent, became a life threatening warning. Constant googling, ruminating, checking and reassurance seeking, which at the time I didn't know was what I was doing. Then, at the end of May, I did get sick. And suddenly all of my obsessions and compulsions solidified themselves as real and premonitions that were true. I started spiraling. Avoiding social events, or anything that was outside of my room. Barely managing to go to work some days. Bringing my compulsions to work as well, sneaking them in when I could. Every day was anxiety riddled. I became exhausted. Sleeping for 10 hours, waking up still tired, coming home having no energy to do anything. It convinced me even more that I was getting sick again. I was getting suicidal again and contemplating it very often. I then noticed my Instagram feed getting filled more and more with OCD related posts and ads, I guess i was unconsciously finding and engaging with them. They described exactly what I was going through, and still am going through. I'm on day 4 of my recovery after learning some ways to help myself. I'm catching my thought patterns, learning to allow the uncertainty, and avoiding my avoidant tendencies. I removed the batteries from my compulsions and put them out of sight. I still am learning my mental compulsions and how to deal with them. I'm engaging with the things I would avoid now despite how I feel. I'm still riddled with anxiety and the OCD thoughts are very loud and frequent. But I'm feeling more in control and like I can handle the thoughts better. I'd love any advice people can give as well. I want my life back.
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