I'm trans and I'm so tired of pretending I'm not.  I'm so tired of being scared, of internalized transphobia, of calling it transgender OCD.  It's been a year of being miserable and dysphoric and calling it OCD so that I can exist in denial and I'm sick of it.  I'm sick of playing the role of girl so that my transphobic family is comfortable, when I'm dying inside.

I am transgender.  My pronouns are he/him.  I haven't decided on a name yet.

Transgender OCD - Tired Of Being Scared Of Internalized Transphobia 

I wish I wasn't trans.  I wish so badly.  I don't want to be trans and I'm terrified.  I wish I could be a girl but I just can't 😭

I recommend seeing a gender specialist to see if they can help you figure this out

But whatever gender you are good for you!