does your ocd sometimes ever make you think you’ve always thought about what your theme is obsessing about but just tried “ignoring it” mine is convincing me i did that which isn’t true 😂

when i’m not thinking about a compulsion so i do things “regularly” does that mean it’s not OCD? i’m just confused is it all in my head? am i just faking it in my head all this time? sorry for posting so much my mind likes to go spiral lol

I’ve had different themes of ocd throughout my life. Can they all differ such as how the thoughts may present? Currently my thoughts feel so true immediately (like they genuinely feel like what I think) but in the last theme I feel like it may have been more of a “what if I think this” type of situation

Whenever anyone starts to feel like their thoughts are less triggering or they feel a moment of happiness/ relief OCD tells you that you want the thoughts back or you actually like having the thoughts and maybe thats just the person I really am? I feel like im going insane😢