Does anyone recommend a certain OCD workbook? I feel like I absorb more information if I’m able to write it down and work with it. Thank you!

Hi this is my first time posting on here. I wasn't sure if I should because I want to make sure I'm not seeking reassurance because I heard that makes ocd worse. I don't want to talk about what my ocd problem was, but basically I was really upset about a religious ocd problem that I know isn't true. I'm feeling a lot better about it now, but when it was bad I decided to try and get better on my own. I read about ERP therapy and how you're supposed to make a list of your ocd problems, from least distressing to most. So I wrote them down on two pieces of paper. At first I started with the simple ones, like looking for spiders before leaving the room. I have a tendency to look for spiders before leaving a room but lately I've been trying not to anymore. Then I decided to try and do one of the hard things. It was a religious ocd problem. I decided to start simple, and just write the problem down on a piece of paper. So I went downstairs and got some paper. But then I thought, oh no, my ocd is probably not going to like this. What do I do with the paper once I write it down? If I think what I wrote down is bad and going to upset God and I will go to hell, (even though I know logically it's not), my ocd is probably going to freak out if I throw away the paper. It probably won't calm down unless I erase it. So I just decided to not write it down on a paper, and just type it on my phone instead. So I did, I typed it on my phone. So, even though I didn't write anything down on the paper, now it feels like that peice of paper is bad. I feel like it's connected to the problem I was having, and I was so upset I called my mom crying asking her what to do. Eventually I decided to just put the paper back with the rest of the paper downstairs, but I'm still upset. I feel like I have to throw away all the paper downstairs, the pencil I was going to use to write down the problem, and the eraser I was going to use in case I needed to erase anything. It feels like if I use any of those items I will make God angry and go to hell. I know I shouldn't do this though, so I'm not going to. I don't know what to do with the papers where I wrote down my ocd problems. They are on my desk and I'm too afraid to move them. And if I put them in my desk I'm afraid they will get mixed up with other papers. I guess I can do whatever I want with them. I think I'll put them in a folder or binder and if I make any more ocd papers I can just put them in there.  I'm just really confused on how to move forward. Right now, I'm too afraid to use the papers, pencil, or eraser for anything. I feel like I can't write on them, draw on them, or anything. It's even making me feel like I can't make digital art. It's making me feel like I can't do a lot of things. I guess what I have to do is just do whatever I want to, because I know the ocd isn't true and doesn't make sense.

I realize this may not work for everyone, particularly those who are struggling with moral or existential forms of OCD, but as someone struggling with relationship OCD, here’s my proposition and what’s worked- 1. ERP and resisting compulsions involves intentionally exposing yourself to distress and not trying to do anything about it, but just sit with it. It is a fundamentally ascetic and meditative practice. 2. Resisting compulsions also means overcoming your bodily desire (because more than anything OCD is a nervous system response, not a rational one) for relief from distress, and instead aligning yourself with a higher principle that overcomes your temporal state. 3. OCD also operates similarly to addiction, and recovery outcomes for addicts are significantly improved through belief in a higher power. Higher power is actually one of the core elements of AA programs because it makes self discipline a lot easier. 4. ERP/CBD is effective, in part, because it already fits within the psychology of someone with OCD. What I mean by this is that it involves homework, specific procedures done at regular intervals, intense self discipline, and is overall pretty formulaic/ritualistic/somatic in nature. And we know that it works, and this method of addressing OCD tends to really excite and appeal to those who suffer with it. We act like the totality of OCD psychology is bad, but it also seems to be the key to reversing OCD, and may be a kind of superpower when properly utilized. 5. We have countless religious traditions that are thousands and thousands of years old which have developed techniques and rituals precisely for what OCD recovery needs- Getting out of a reactive state, getting into a state of gratitude and meditation, developing ascetic skills to overcome temptation (compulsions), being okay with uncertainty, creating a place of inner peace and compassion, having a system of accountability and reminders which keep you from slipping back into compulsive patterns, and doing all of this in community with people who experience the same struggle. So far, religion has been *the most* helpful thing I’ve done for my OCD. Here’s how this has played out in my own life: -Hesychastic prayer. This is an Eastern Orthodox tradition where you project the Jesus prayer, in repetition, channeling it not just from the mind or mouth but from the heart. It is deeply psychosomatic, with the goal of creating ego death and achieving a state of seeing God in all things. It creates a calm, warm feeling in my chest that feels identical to a psychedelic afterglow. It takes me out of my head and into my body, and the first time I tried it, with a prayer candle lit beside me, I experienced very rapid relief and was able to sleep for the first time without having any nightmares. I now do this consistently, along with other kinds of prayer and hymn recitation, and gratitude before meals, and it’s something I genuinely enjoy and look forward to. Since doing it, my compulsions have gone done by like 70%. Every time I feel myself slipping into compulsions, instead of doing them, I pause and pray. Prayer fills me with warmth, gratitude, and comfort. I feel connected to something greater than myself, my body becomes calm, my heart stops racing, and afterwards, I no longer feel compelled to perform my compulsions, because I know that it is harmful to myself and those around me, and that God is watching over me guiding me to act in a more thoughtful and wise way. This has single-handedly brought me more long term relief than any other OCD technique or treatment has. Not only has it relieved my OCD, but I have so much more energy, motivation, and self discipline in other areas of my life. It’s like I can feel my neurochemistry balance itself in real time. I’m eating healthier, my relationships are richer, I’m a better student, I feel more creatively inspired, and I have so much more self discipline to resist habits that are bad for me. I hope this may be helpful to anyone else who might be struggling. I’ve searched online and there’s really no information out there that I could find on religious ritual being an effective OCD treatment, but it’s been completely revolutionary in my life.

I wanted to share with you guys some of the things that have helped me in the past few weeks! If you’re open to it, maybe try a few and see how you feel! First I would really recommend leaning on God. If you’re not a believer you may be skeptical but if you’ve never tried to read the Bible, prayer or even just talking with God, I would recommend so much! My relationship with God has gotten so much better through this terrible illness and in turn I have noticed a lot of positivity, I feel substantially better since I’ve been trying to bring this to God instead of worry about it myself. If you can give your worries to God and learn to have faith that he is with you, loves and forgives you. You have a great step towards recovery and even just a more positive life. Next, try going outside! I know it sounds kinda dumb but I mean it! Some of my best days started with just going outside, reading a book and or listening to music. I went out and tanned, ate some fruit with some lemonade and read “Girl Wash Your Face” it was a great book! I would spend HOURS and it helped me so much! Take a walk, hike, etc.! This leads into the next thing…READING! I recently bought the new book “don’t believe everything you think” and the workbook and it is amazing! This also applies to reading your Bible and other books, specially ones targeting self help and things like that! Another thing is fitness! Try out the gym, I know there is days that you just can’t bring yourself to get up but in those days, make yourself go to the gym! Even if you just go walk on the treadmill or bike! Anything is better than nothing! Keep yourself active, I promise it will make you feel better! Find a good podcast! I have been listening to (The OCD Stories on Spotify), sometimes I’ve even listened while I was going to sleep and let it play through the night! Go on YouTube and follow Chrissie Hodges, NOCD and look for other people who help! Go on instagram and follow Chrissie Hodges, NOCD, iocdf, sincerelyocd, recoverocd, letstalk.ocd, my lovely ocd and there are so many more! Find good music! Again I’m going to bring up worship music some of my favs being ( I Thank God, Move of God, Hard fought Hallelujah, The Truth, Made for more, Thy Will, and there is so many more!) if you would like I can share my playlist! But overall music is so helpful and if you are not a believer or want something different I would recommend songs by Katy Perry, Lady Gaga, Kesha, Rihanna, Demi Lovato, Kelly Clarkson, even Billy Joel, Queen, Beck, and things of that nature that are gonna get you PUMPED UP! Lastly, hang out with PEOPLE! Don’t let OCD rule your life, put your ocd in a box best you can and go live your life! Get lunch with a friend, join a bible study, go get a massage, even just meet up with a friend and talk in a parking lot while shoving your face with fast food! You NEED interaction as much as you don’t want to! I know some of these are hard, some is triggering or you’re nervous that you’re gonna spiral, but step out of your comfort zone! That’s the way to get better! Do things that make you feel uncomfortable, the things that are unknown, the things you used to do before this! You can still live and love your life you don’t have to keep just “surviving”! And this isn’t a fix all, trust me I still have my days where I’m like nope I’m staying in bed and crying, but you need to push yourself! No one is coming to hold your hand and walk you out of this, you have to want to help yourself too! And you can do that! I know it’s scary and uncomfortable but you got this! We’re gonna kick some OCD butt! I hope you find this helpful and I wish you the most luck! Comment if you have questions and whatnot! 🫶