So someone I love said something offensive and I feel guilty. I told them they shouldn't say that and they listened and apologized and probably just didn't really know it was bad. I know I can't take responsibility for something I didn't do, but I'm afraid a good person would break up or something... I love them and they are not a bad person. How do people in relationships usually deal with each others' mistakes?

Hey, yesterday my ex told me something I did that hurt them. This was that I didnt respond in a supportive way when he came out to me. I genuinely had no idea he was coming out (I thought it was a flippant comment) and I was frustrated as we had been having issues with intimacy for months. He said it made him feel awful and it’s only since telling his friends that he has realised how painful my reaction was. I apologised as I do feel awful I made him feel that way but now I keep questioning my reality or perception of what happened. I also keep wanting to reach out to explain why I responded the way I did. Any tips for when you genuinely feel like a monster or did something so outside of your morals? I feel awful

My previous post continued.. I’m starting to wonder if maybe I’m a bad person and I feel like I’m experiencing some false memory with my overthinking, that my mind is telling me I was the problem. I did something. That I’m a bad person, I never meant to hurt the guy at all and even though I said I didn’t like him back and acknowledged I felt merely as emotional connection after he left my place Monday. I apologize for my terrible behavior which was unhealed from stuff in the recent breakup I was in, though it wasn’t an excuse I warned him that sometimes I say stuff that is rude with out knowing and that I have trouble understanding social cues. Literally all I wanted to do was give him a chance. Give myself a chance. Just said why not. I’ve never had anyone choose me. And I felt like I was in a good place to at least TALK with someone, get to know them, test the waters before a whole relationship and taking stuff further and he was okay with that. I noticed alot of stuff too, he’d say he wanted me in his life and talked about the future and stuff when he first confessed to me and it was like the 2 day. Monday before he started acting like this he told me everything was okay and told me he loved me. It’s like he changed completely and I understood from hurting but just started acting rude, distant, cold. He never once said “Hey listen I’m really hurting right now and it isn’t your fault with the choice you made not liking me, I might be distant and a bit off if we talk”. Just full blown ghosted me. No communication. I never expected us to be friends immediately afterwards. The only thing he said when I messaged him Monday was he needed time to think, I understand and assumed space but all I wanted was to talk. And I would’ve left him alone if he just would’ve communicated to me more. He’d been so sweet and kind and nice and understanding the past 3 weeks and when he left he just became distant and told me he needed time to think when I mentioned we should slow things down, I asked if I did anything wrong and tried communicating. I have such a terrible habit of persistently trying to get an answer to things, from others or myself, and I feel shitty for texting him alot on his phone a few times cause I was overthinking, just because I wanted to talk for 5 mins about if I did something wrong or what not. He finally responded and said he’d been busy all week and he has a busy life and he’s a busy person. I even asked if he even knew how it affected me when he ignored my asks to talk and my apologies. even though I’d seen him online so many times and he’d leave me on read, I knew it was annoying and vowed to stop on wensday night (that’s when he replied). I just wanted communication. I was overthinking and I feel like I’m a bad person now. I was aware of what I did and told myself I would work on it too with alot of things. I just feel so fucking guilty for saying repeatedly he wasn’t my type and when I talked about my ex boyfriend cause I was still hurt by him. I apologized but I feel guilty.

I just remembered when I was about 13 and this girl kept posting things about white people being racist and I answered back saying not all white people are like that and asking why she was saying it (I was STUPID and didn't know anything about the world and even though I can't remember it fully it wasn't meant to be malicious or anything) and then she got angry, which is fair, so I got defensive about it and she posted a screenshot on her story. I'm 21 now and definitely more aware of the world. Do I tell my boyfriend about this because I feel like I'm lying to him by not telling him and pretending to be good when I'm not (context I'm white he's not). We talk about race and societal issues all the time so we're both well aware of our political leanings I'm just scared I'm being deceitful and a fraud.