This is embarrassing to wrote but I will write it because I feel better after writing about my ocd. So school starts tomorrow and I've been feeling afraid that a thought will ruin it for me. But thoughts and feelings don't bother me anymore...actions do. Most of my themes if not all of them had been about my crush and a family member (sexual theme). I was walking past the bathroom today and my mom was there cuz it's in her room, I inhaled air and now I think what if i did that cuz i wanted to smell...pee. I panicked even tho my back was facing the bathroom and that I had themes about this and so I hold my breath around bathrooms. I still thought that maybe I did cuz I had a thought related to my mom and my crush and me and that I liked it. Then now my mom was sitting next to me and was showing me a funny video on her phone and I was facing her leg and I inhaled...thinking maybe I did cuz it's her private part. And then I stood and my back was facing her and I thought what if I did that on purpose to show her and that again it's related to my crush. Even now I'm still sitting in the same place and I inhaled air thinking that she as sifting next to me and that I would smell it and my brain is telling me I got closer to her place but Ik I didn't. Am I crazy? I think I'm crazy.

Hi I am Aisha and I am not sure if I have ocd or not but I struggle with thoughts which I don't even know if they r intrusive or if I am thinking about them and they are usually about my family or friends. This time it was about my mom more specifically a sexual thought about my mom and my mind was thinking that this is what I want and when I was analyzing the thought I wasn't sure about my intention which made me feel really bad

I worry people might get the wrong idea when I share this but I must post it because I’m scared so basically this is gonna sound weird but I have always sorta been a violent kid but in a normal way if that makes sense like if someone tris over I would find the ridiculously funny but what kinda confuses me is when loved ones hurt themselves I laugh it’s not like I’m putting it on idk I just randomly laugh and i find funny please don’t think I’m a bad person because I’m really not and I’m scared abt this but that’s not the point of this story so I will get to the pint now so basically I was walking upstairs and I hit my head on the door and my mum laughed at me and I said “its not funny I hit my head” and she said something else that made me angry I can’t remember and then I started to charge at her like I was gonna hit her or something and it scared me cuz I wanted to push her or something ( not harmful just like as a back off kinda thing) which I know it’s horrible writing it out but then while I had that urge to push it her or something I also got a groinal so then OCD was like ”you were gonna s3xualy attack just then and you liked it” and now I’m to scared to go near her just in case it happens again cuz I’ve been in a spiral for days now, again please don’t tell me I’m a bad person cuz I already feel like that cuz writing it out it sounds worse then it is irl im sorry if this was triggering and please reply and tell me your thoughts on this.

Advice, coping techniques, just distraction needed. Yesterday night, my parents asked me if I could take care of my baby brother and I’ve been wanting to help them out so of course I said yes, and I was taking care of him with my other brother. A big fear of mine that I’ve told my therapist about is that my OCD will latch on to my new baby brother. It hasn’t happened since he has come home with us, but now I feel like something is brewing. My little brother is prone to throwing up so he already got the shirt He was wearing all dirty so I went to my mom‘s room and decided to change his onesie. I called my other brother for help by helping me sit him up while I put the shirt over his head after the shirt went over his head. My other brother was walking out and that’s when I clipped the buttons on the bottom of the onesie and continued to carry him around the house, but it’s that action that my mind is obsessing over. Me clipping the buttons of my baby brother’s onesie. I can’t get over it. My mind keeps replaying that one thing because my thoughts are saying “oh what if you accidentally inappropriately touched him “ and I even went out of my way to avoid touching his diaper because I knew my head would start spinning shit like this. But ever since last night, I can’t stop thinking if I accidentally traumatized my little brother some how. I know I didn’t do anything wrong. I’ve helped my mom change my brother‘s clothes before. My parents literally check his diaper if he soiled himself, but when I do anything that has to do with making sure my brother is clean and healthy my head tries to make me feel sick and crazy. The thoughts are getting worse and getting to the point where my head is trying to make me feel like I’m weird for wanting to change my brother out of his dirty clothes. I’m just so scared that these thoughts are gonna get worse and I’m trying not to freak out right now so I went for a walk outside. But im still getting such intense anxiety. I dont know how to cope or what to do advice coping techniques would be a such a help ive been doing so good with avoiding compulsions. I just need help to ground myself. I dont want to go to my mom with this ill feel worse. Is me writing this a compulsion?