My brain keeps telling me to enjoy things before I kill myself but I don’t want to. I don’t want to die. Help me.

I needed that. It feels like a can’t avoid it. It’s exhausting me.

@DBurch13 It can feel so, sooooo draining at times. But it comes and goes. For me mine started as an urge type feeling and has now moved into less large spikes of anxiety and now just ruminating. For me, I have to stay with the discomfort instead of analysing it and remember to do ERP even when you don’t want to. I feel like it is very very slowly starting to almost get manageable. But it’s going to be a long journey so we have to be patient.

@Anonymous I hope you live a fulfilling life. Keep going.

@DBurch13 You too bud 👊

@DBurch13 Mine is constant was yours ?

@vmurso22 Yes it is. Some good days but I feel like my body is going to take over and I’ll do it without thinking about it or stopping it.

@DBurch13 we are literally going through the same thing, I’m terrified I’m going to have to go to the hospital

@vmurso22 I was like that a couple months ago and that’s when I decided to get help. I was so scared. Do you have anyone you can talk to?

@DBurch13 Ya my mom but I also don’t want to scare her

@vmurso22 Always talk to someone. Always.

You can get past it. We all can.

@DBurch13 It’s like my brain is assuming I’m gonna do it and I can’t think past it

I was like that like two months ago. I was so afraid of being alone. What’s the SOS button?

I struggle with it everyday and the thoughts are constant…how long did it last for you before it quieted down?

@vmurso22 I was really struggling daily for like 2 months straight, then started with NOCD sessions and after about 4 sessions I got to a really good place. Last week I had virtually no thoughts at all, and when I did I was able to handle my anxiety very quickly with exposure techniques I’ve learned. I’d say I’m in a significantly better place with my thoughts but like I said, some days are still a little difficult!

Yeah I’m terrified of being depressed. That was so scary. Actual severely depressed.

Yeah it took until like session 4 for me to learn techniques. But I see the benefit of that, I don’t think I would’ve been ready for erp on day 1. I can see how it’s frustrating though because you just have to keep holding on. I felt like that at times at the beginning.

@MCT For me it’s really tough becuase I hyper focus on it

@vmurso22 For sure. When I engage in compulsions it really makes it so much worse and it’s hard to think about anything else. I’ve had to find ways to distract myself even if just for a short period of time. I remember in my worst moments I just wanted any amount of reprieve. I started doing little exposures, which also helped me and built up my confidence. I cut out caffeine, alcohol, and junk food when I was really struggling because I thought they’d make me worse. I drank a cup of coffee, which may seem like a little thing to do but it was a good exposure for me. Even just those kinds of things can help retrain your brain. Caffeine and alcohol may not be good for everybody, but not living in such a restricted way was good for me.