This sounds like ocd is keeping you in its trap for of suffering! I’ve been there and honestly my life is so much better now that I’ve found a medication that works for me
It really has! That’s my main fear from trying them. I just can’t stop thinking about well what if they make me suicidal for real and I won’t be able to tell the difference
SSRI made a huge positive difference for me. That particular side effect is pretty rare if I understand correctly, and only happens when you're first starting the med and your body is getting used to it. I think their general way of watching for it is to make sure you have a support system in place in case you do start feeling suicidal (more than your ocd thoughts usually are), so you've got a safety net. This is just my opinion, but it sounds like you'd be fine, cause even if you got that rare side effect, it's something you intensely don't want to do. I have been on an SSRI for around 6 months now and I've never felt like it's changed core wants in that way, it's more that it makes it easier to not engage with OCD thoughts/urges when they appear. As it was explained to me, the suicidal thoughts side effect is basically that your symptoms start to subside so you have more energy, but you're not getting the full positive effects yet so you're basically symptomatic but with more energy, and more energy in a suicidal person can be enabling. At the end of the day, it won't change what you want
Thank you so much for the response. That sounds like the same thing my doctor told me. I think I’ve gotten to a point where I’m just SO tired of suffering and need to give them a shot.
Also, glad you have found one that works for you, that’s great!