Anyone experience intrusive thoughts/sensations/feelings when you’re triggered and then when you try to go back in your mind you feel like you acted in someway?

Does anyone else’s false memory intrusive thoughts of what could have happened feel very, very real?

I wanted to ask if it is possible to purposely think of an intrusive thought and then shifting your mind instantly to something else? Is it still an intrusive thought if you have been thinking of it 'purposely' for a second? I dont know how else to explain it, but it felt like I was purposely thinking of it. Anyone else had similar experience what happened during intimate moments like masturbation I feel so ashamed cuz the thoughts are so bad they're either about family members children and stuff like that it feels like I think it I just want to know if I'm not alone I feel like a monster because it feels like I thought these things or like I did think these things and I don't know what to do I feel so ashamed and grossed I need help I just want to know if anyone had a similar experience to shed light on because I don't know I feel so isolated

Anyone experience intrusive thoughts of their children during intimate moments? Have you done erp to this? I had one and continued slightly before running and needing to vomit now feel guilty anyone else experienced this?