Every action that I do or every word that I say I think it's illegal(Even though I know that's not) or God becomes angry with me... This kind of thinking caused me to prefer not being around other people and I'm always alone😭

I have religious OCD and the thoughts have been becoming really bad. I’ve been hitting myself punching myself screaming quietly if that makes sense pulling my hair out talking to myself nonstop. I can’t even hang out with my family without doing these things or going to another room to do these things, these thoughts of overtaking my life I will always be Christian God is most important to me and I’m so scared because these thoughts are terrible. They’re disgusting they never ending. There’s always something going on in my mind. I don’t understand. I’m scared. I’m turning into a bad person. I don’t wanna dishonor the Lord God, I don’t know if this is just OCD or something else.

I did post about this the other day, but I’m just genuinely worried like this happened many years ago and I can’t really remember exactly what I said, but I have a feeling like I said something really mean and I think I lashed out on a person like a stranger cause I don’t know I was probably going through something and I’m afraid that like it was so bad it caused them to hurt themselves and now I keep thinking like what if the police are secretly looking for me because the harm caused, even though I have no evidence of any of this, but even this Happened like a deca ago, it still haunts me like I really hope that the person is OK and I constantly like keep reviewing like their conversation over and over again like in my mind like I genuinely feel like a bad person maybe even a criminal 😃

I'm 15, from Dhaka, Bangladesh. A religiously judgemental place. I have past history of Cptsd from emotional family abuse. I've been an agnostic. My ocd had taken different forms and shapes since I was 8. But this time, this has made me almost insane over obsessing and getting fears over "what if they are right, what if god is real" (core fears- fear of toxic judgment, extreme fear of being misunderstood and abondonment) thoughts and when I give into the spiral, sometimes I even question that "what if ocds are just cover up for *dark religious truths* and sh" :( I don't have a ocd friendly environment and people around can make me feel even worse. This thought makes me even more scared.