Every action that I do or every word that I say I think it's illegal(Even though I know that's not) or God becomes angry with me... This kind of thinking caused me to prefer not being around other people and I'm always alone😭

In the past I used to isolate myself when I was feeling bad or when my mental health became poor. now I feel like I don't want to be alone because I'm scared that when I'm alone, something bad will happen or i'll lose control and do something bad. And I feel like when I'm around someone e.g. my mom, it's easier to just let the thoughts go because at least there's someone there to verify that I haven't done anything bad.

Recently ive been getting very scared to even be angry bc of the horrible thoughts I have and it feels even more real when I'm angry or even annoyed. Rn I was not even super annoyed at my neice but I felt a twinge of annoyance since she went up to my face and was yelling at me while I was resting on the bed and I got this image of doing something bad to her and I felt my hand twitch very little. I got nervous and felt relieved when her dad told her to stop screaming for no reason. I've been hyperfocusing on my bodily reactions (mainly my hands or how I'm feeling like did I just enjoy that? Was I considering???) And I've noticed the small twitches whenever I'm mad or annoyed and it's scaring me so bad! Like do I want to act out? Am I holding back??? I used to not even twitch at all when mad and I felt 100% sure I'll never act out but now it feels like I don't know bc what do these twitches mean?, I do know I don't want to ever act out but it's so scary. Recently whenever I feel angry once the argument is over I cry really bad after I'm alone and I pray so i never want or act out. And when the annoyance passes I also feel so guilty and want to stay away. Im scared these are real urges and i research for many many hours to make sure they arent urges or impulses and i also tend to ask chatgpt or here if the anxiety gets so bad 😕

i ALWAYS fear that I will break religious rules (Islam) that I exaggerate it a lot... Like Hasad (envy) is forbidden in Islam...so i always avoid looking at ANYTHING bc Because I'm afraid I'll envy it by mistake!!! even people! plus help!!!!!