What do you do when you just can’t take it anymore? Triggers are everywhere!

It’s one thing to have intrusive thoughts. It’s a deeper level of hell when the universe or outside world glitches daily and the most unlikely impossible scenarios happen daily. For example: you walk outside your house every single day at different times and every time you walk outside you see your trigger theme like cancer for example. Everyday you walk outside Nomatter what time it is you see a sick person, or a person with a shirt of cancer, or a vehicle with a cancer word on it. This is a different level of hell in ocd, it’s like the universe is conspiring against you on a daily basis to keep you trapped in fear. Then you begin looking for a trigger free day just to break free, and it never arrives. It just gets worse and worse. The universe literaly glitches and you see triggers in the most crazy ways to trigger you. What would you do then? Nothing helps. One thing is to have intrusive thoughts and triggers, but when you get to a level of ocd when the outside world glitches In order for you to see what you fear every single day, then what? Help is welcomed, where are the experts at? Never have I heard anyone with OCD deal with the universe glitching like this.

(21+ ONLY PLEASE: TRIGGER WARNING) I’m just so sick of it. I’m letting it win. I’m letting it beat me. I’m losing. I’ve been seeing a therapist but we only meet every two weeks for an hour because of my insurance. I can’t afford any more visits. We’ve been working on ERP but I still feel stuck. Just recently, we went through a drive thru and the kid at the window looked really young. I’m afraid that I found him attractive and I felt a groinal at the thought. I f*cking hate my mind. I don’t think I can do this anymore. I’m trying but I still feel like it’s not enough. I’ve let my parents down, my friends and my family. Everyone who knows me doesn’t know the thoughts I have and how sick and disgusted I feel with myself.

Triggered 7 days ago. No relief yet. Suggestions please, Im running on fumes now from fatigue, on ways to reduce my mental stress?