Needing input plz 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 I’m 29 years old. And if you would have ever asked me if I had ocd I would tell you heck no, my room was always a mess. I did none of the same “rituals” (so I thought) only thing I could say was I hateee to be barefoot 😖 Possible trigger warning ⚠️ Fast forward to this past October. A girl in my town who I knew pretty well took her own life. It was a shock to everyone, including me!! I went to the funeral.. and the family’s house for support & to take food. (Small southern town) then weeks go by and I just could not get her out of my head! & the thought of her committing suicide haunted me. Until one night I was laying in bed putting my baby girl to sleep (my anxiety had been awful that day) and a thought popped into my head. “What if one day you loose your shit like her & take your own life” (I know that sounds so insensitive). Needless to say I went into straight panic mode as soon as the thought happened. I felt like my body went numb, my heart was racing and I felt this feeling of doom. I got up and literally made myself sick I was so worked up. I thought I had just had my first “suicidal thought” this thought has haunted me for 3 months now. I’ve started Prozac for anxiety and depression but I’m not convinced. I’m not saying I have never had anxiety or mild depression bc I have but this. This happened to me over night. In one second my whole world changed. I made myself think I was crazy bc I had that thought. I made myself think I was suicidal bc I had that one thought. And the thoughts continued and continued… I didn’t want to be around guns knives or anything. I have never a day in my life wanted to hurt myself. I kept researching bc I just couldn’t settle with “depression” this was me in a constant battle with my mind telling my thoughts that I don’t want to hurt myself!!!!! I saw someone on a page with the almost same exact story as me and what there diagnosis was. Pure O. I felt such relief when I read these stories and I felt like I wasn’t crazy. This is a actual thing to have obsessive thoughts. That relief lasted about a day, and here I am questioning what my doctor will say when I tell them I think I have “o”cd. I keep thinking they well tell me no I don’t and it’s just me. This is pure hell. Why would this happen. And why now? I feel like I used to do this some about health anxiety and stuff but never to this extreme. Is this anywhere near ocd????