Panicking again. I was standing in the kitchen and was thinking about my crush and what happened today and there might be hope then I had the idea to look at my mom's back (butt) I'm not sure if my crush was also involved in the intrusive thought because that's a theme I always have. Then I looked at her back! Now I'm disgusted she's my own mother! And when I was typing this I think I saw the word I wrote but and I feel like I smiled but I'm not sure. I'm so disgusted I feel as if I'm a horrible person.

OCD : Feels Disgusted | Unable To Look At Mother Because Of Intrusive Thoughts

Here's the thing, you fear being a horrible person and then you feel like you are - thats no coincidence, it's a bit of a brain miscommunication. The reality is that things enter our vision all the time, if I saw a rabbit while eating dinner, it doesn't mean I like to eat rabbits right? So once you realize that you are fearing something from this incident and that it is influencing your thoughts (and vice versa, Google congitive triad) you can take a step forward into better control