Hi I have a problem with getting really bad thoughts that I am just the ugliest most disgusting person ever and these thoughts give me extreme anxiety and I usally cope with them with either caking makeup on or going on a spending spree so that I can look more like the girls in my classes. I go on Amazon try to find the best products to take my eye bags away, and I order it all. Then I get terrible anxiety that I spent to much money and that I will soon have no money. It’s just an endless cycle and it’s so exhausting I don’t know how to change the cycle. The intrusive thoughts about myself are too much to handle.

I agree with J6. If you aren’t In treatment, if you are able, get in with a NOCD therapist. We will assess not only for OCD but things like body image issues, anxiety, and self worth issues. It is so hard when you fall into what many call the “comparison trap”. It leads nowhere good. Maybe some good practice exposure for you would be to NOT buy online when you feel the urge is the strongest to get something you need. Sit with the anxiety it causes not to be ordering until it lowers. Also, do some practice of going out in public with no makeup. Good luck to you! Hope you are able to find some treatment options. Groups on the NOCD App are another great resource that may be beneficial!

I am sorry that you are going though this! NOCD really helped me a lot so I would encourage you to reach out to them and see if they can help with therapy. They do accept insurance and have payment plans. This could be a range of things, could be OCD thoughts... You get the thoughts which is the trigger, you neutralize the thoughts by shopping or doing your makeup... which is the compulsion. I would try erp with this and see if the thoughts and anxiety that comes start to lessen with some erp practice... keep in mind that you will feel anxiety while doing erp and you may experience anxiety post the ERP.... that IS a good thing and you are retraining your brain! When the thoughts arise allow them to be there...acknowledge that the thoughts are there... Hey brain thanks for this thought and then return to what ever activity you are doing and refrain from over use of make up or buying something. Also do a script for ERP.... Maybe I am the ugliest most disgusting person ever, maybe I'm not but either way I am going to continue on with my day. Make the script your own but don't add in anything that reassures you. I usually set a 10 minute timer and read my scripts over and over for those 10 minutes. You will notice your anxiety rise and then it will fall.... remember that is a good thing .... means its working! when you are done reading some anxiety may still be there you can choose to sit and feel it for 1 or 2 more minutes and then get up and get on with your day except for buying amazon or overly applying make up. These things are ERP work... You can try it on your own or again reach out to NOCD. Also, this could be some learned self punishment and self esteem issues so I would also practice self love and self care.... Do nice things for yourself, like light a candle, take a bath, relax and listen to some music, take a walk.... smile at yourself. I just wouldn't do any of these things directly after those thoughts so that they don't become a compulsion. Tell yourself you are beautiful, I love you, etc. write a little sticky note and put it on your bathroom mirror.