- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
You know exactly what you need to do at this moment. Tell yourself, maybe I broke a law. Oh well. And sit with that anxiety and guilt. Don’t ruminate. Don’t get reassurance. Accept that you made a decision. You can remind yourself that this experience is ocd and your thoughts are meaningless noise. I’m praying for you. God loves you.
- Date posted
- 3y
So I'm just supposed to accept that I'll just be in jail one day because I may have broken a law and that my life could be over?
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
@BigGip09 You're not accepting you will be in jail one day. You're accepting that it's possible but not likely. After all, what's the actual alternative?
- Date posted
- 3y
@titaniumonetwo Possible but not likely? I guess that's a better way to put it. I'm not sure what you mean by alternative though. You mean what do I have to lose? I'd say A lot
- Date posted
- 3y
@BigGip09 I think they might mean what's the actual likelyhood of that happening. I have this same thing. Do you have discord? We could chat.
- Date posted
- 3y
@Anonymous I don't know the actual likelihood, which is what magnifies the worrying, even if it's not there at all.
- Date posted
- 3y
@Anonymous I have discord but I'm not sure if I'm up for it.
- Date posted
- 3y
@BigGip09 That's ok. I get it. I've been struggling at this point for a while. And with Wondering how broken I am because I might have OCD. I just started a job that deals with behavioral health, intellectual developmental disabilities, and sexual predators and it is TRIGGERING. I knew it would be but it is roughhhh. If you change your mind. Shoot me a message. I'd love to talk to someone that gets this place.
- Date posted
- 3y
@Anonymous Maybe that job could be an opportunity to help you out with exposures. I still don't really understand how exposures work but with this job, I think you can test yourself to see how you can sit with those negative feelings and get over them. This sounds like a job that you want you do and you can tell yourself that you won't let it get to you because of the thoughts. Hope this helps
- Date posted
- 3y
@BigGip09 I appreciate it. That's what "less obsessed me" told myself. Past me is always setting future me up for challenging but rewarding things. Present me is just like WTF man. But I'm tired. I have a 10 month old and I just want to enjoy these days as I'll never get them back. I want to be happy. Sorry if I hijacked your thread.
- Date posted
- 3y
@Anonymous I wish there were a cure for this disorder so that no one would have to go through why hardships that, for the most part, is in their head. I think with practicing the things needed to get over this disorder will help us. I've been putting off on it for too long. Years even. I think it's time to make a difference. And don't apologize. I'm just happy to be able to speak out about these things
- Date posted
- 3y
@BigGip09 Appreciate. ERP terrifies me. I feel like if I'm just depressed, it'll make me worse. Just can't accept that my life could possibly be over. I can accept that I could get hit by a bus at any moment but not...these other things. I hope you find peace too.
- Date posted
- 3y
That is exactly where I get stuck at. Just doesn't compute for me.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w
Today I kind of snapped and I do feel bad. At Chipotle, a worker wasn’t letting me finish my order and every 2 seconds she kept saying “that’s it?” “That’s it?” Like rushing me, and I yelled, “YES, THATS IT!” I do feel bad because maybe she was having a bad day but I was also frustrated. I do regret it because I need to stay calm in situations, especially because I understand how hard it is to work in fast food, I’ve done it before. I was overwhelmed and frustrated, she kept talking over me and I couldn’t even think about what I wanted next. I’m irritated with myself but I also feel my feelings aren’t wrong, I just handled it in a negative way. Now my OCD has latched on the situation and I can’t stop thinking about it. I feel like I’m an awful person and like I need some sort of punishment, as if having OCD isn’t enough punishment. I did try to call the restaurant to apologize but no one answered. I sent an email with an apology to customer support, I’m not sure if she’ll even get it. I’m having so many ruminating and self deprecating thoughts now. I’m not a terrible person but I feel like I am
- Date posted
- 18w
TW:trauma.. This can be very triggering... I was outside walking my dog.I met with the family of the kid who was hurt years ago(I mentioned abt this..it was really a bad and traumatizing event) .I warned them abt a dog (bcs they have a dog too ) who was walking around and bcs I think I saw it another day .And I talked with their mom and I thought: Am I lying ? Am I manipulating her into thinking I am a caring person when in reality I am not.Because I didnt helped the kid when they needed help.I was right there and didnt help and didnt told them.I feel like a traitor.Everytime we met and talk I am scared my friendly interactions mean I am lying to them and manipulate them.Bcs I didnt help their kid...:,( I am so so sorry for them.I feel like I left them in danger back then,that it was my fault..I cant stop thinking abt how they trusted me and I didnt help..and that event.Because no one should go through that..especially a kid.I am scared honestly..even now .And I am worried.I only care bcs their parents will be mad and blame me..I am scared I dont care abt what happened to the kid( I am sorry if this is triggering..I think these are also my intrusive thoughts) .Plus everytime I am near them I get intrusive images of what happened .And I feel like a criminal..plus other horrible thoughts that make me feel like I a monster.I have terrible thoughts over and over and I feel I am what I am scared of.That I acutually am.I started to belive this( still pray is just ocd)I know is weird( and I am sorry if this is triggering) but I feel like I am the person who hurt the kid.:,(.I just think I dissapointed them and hurt them (the kid..also the family).The worst is I dont even know if they told anyone.I will talk with a therapist abt this..but I want to know also your advices..if u can give me..I know this might be reassurance but I am desperate.These thoughts and intrusive images I get abt what happened are horrible.I cant imagine...:(.I only think abt how terrible it was for the kid..and I feel bad because I think abt it.I overthink my every action, I overthink everything abt my interactions with them and their family.This summer my family will go on a trip with them I think , and Idk if I should go.( tw: also think her dad thinks I am suspicious and I absolutely have no intent to hurt the kid.And that he think I am dangerous bcs I didnt help her:()This feels like hell and I feel like I am make myself a victim in a situation I made myself..I am sorry for putting so many tw.I know this sounds all so bad and suspicious..Either I am terrible or scared I am terrible or both...:(.Anyway I know I did a terrible mistake.Thank you so much if anyone reads all this and responds
- Date posted
- 15w
I did post about this the other day, but I’m just genuinely worried like this happened many years ago and I can’t really remember exactly what I said, but I have a feeling like I said something really mean and I think I lashed out on a person like a stranger cause I don’t know I was probably going through something and I’m afraid that like it was so bad it caused them to hurt themselves and now I keep thinking like what if the police are secretly looking for me because the harm caused, even though I have no evidence of any of this, but even this Happened like a deca ago, it still haunts me like I really hope that the person is OK and I constantly like keep reviewing like their conversation over and over again like in my mind like I genuinely feel like a bad person maybe even a criminal 😃
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