- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
You know exactly what you need to do at this moment. Tell yourself, maybe I broke a law. Oh well. And sit with that anxiety and guilt. Don’t ruminate. Don’t get reassurance. Accept that you made a decision. You can remind yourself that this experience is ocd and your thoughts are meaningless noise. I’m praying for you. God loves you.
- Date posted
- 3y
So I'm just supposed to accept that I'll just be in jail one day because I may have broken a law and that my life could be over?
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
@BigGip09 You're not accepting you will be in jail one day. You're accepting that it's possible but not likely. After all, what's the actual alternative?
- Date posted
- 3y
@titaniumonetwo Possible but not likely? I guess that's a better way to put it. I'm not sure what you mean by alternative though. You mean what do I have to lose? I'd say A lot
- Date posted
- 3y
@BigGip09 I think they might mean what's the actual likelyhood of that happening. I have this same thing. Do you have discord? We could chat.
- Date posted
- 3y
@Anonymous I don't know the actual likelihood, which is what magnifies the worrying, even if it's not there at all.
- Date posted
- 3y
@Anonymous I have discord but I'm not sure if I'm up for it.
- Date posted
- 3y
@BigGip09 That's ok. I get it. I've been struggling at this point for a while. And with Wondering how broken I am because I might have OCD. I just started a job that deals with behavioral health, intellectual developmental disabilities, and sexual predators and it is TRIGGERING. I knew it would be but it is roughhhh. If you change your mind. Shoot me a message. I'd love to talk to someone that gets this place.
- Date posted
- 3y
@Anonymous Maybe that job could be an opportunity to help you out with exposures. I still don't really understand how exposures work but with this job, I think you can test yourself to see how you can sit with those negative feelings and get over them. This sounds like a job that you want you do and you can tell yourself that you won't let it get to you because of the thoughts. Hope this helps
- Date posted
- 3y
@BigGip09 I appreciate it. That's what "less obsessed me" told myself. Past me is always setting future me up for challenging but rewarding things. Present me is just like WTF man. But I'm tired. I have a 10 month old and I just want to enjoy these days as I'll never get them back. I want to be happy. Sorry if I hijacked your thread.
- Date posted
- 3y
@Anonymous I wish there were a cure for this disorder so that no one would have to go through why hardships that, for the most part, is in their head. I think with practicing the things needed to get over this disorder will help us. I've been putting off on it for too long. Years even. I think it's time to make a difference. And don't apologize. I'm just happy to be able to speak out about these things
- Date posted
- 3y
@BigGip09 Appreciate. ERP terrifies me. I feel like if I'm just depressed, it'll make me worse. Just can't accept that my life could possibly be over. I can accept that I could get hit by a bus at any moment but not...these other things. I hope you find peace too.
- Date posted
- 3y
That is exactly where I get stuck at. Just doesn't compute for me.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w
Less than a year ago, I had a very big anxiety flare up to the point that I felt as though I needed to report to the police / harm myself. I ended up leaving an anonymous tip at the police hotline about something that I know I didn’t even do but everything told me I had to or else I will go to jail. And similarly after that I called the help line and explained I had unwanted intrusive thoughts and I didn’t think I deserved to live for having those thoughts. After these many months and working with my therapist, I’ve been able to feel a lot less anxious around this topic and now I’m getting lots of anxiety about what I did that time when I was so anxious. I gave in to my compulsions and confessed for stuff that I know sounds bad saying out loud but only certain people will understand I would never do. So now I’m just looking for someone to relate and perhaps let me know that I don’t have anything to worry about? I know it’s bad to seek reassurance but I’m not sure where to go. And I’m worried I’m going to keep incriminating myself.
- Date posted
- 23w
Can someone talk with me? I know I posted a lot about this and I want to stop.I know only a therapist will tell me what to do..But please..can someone give me some advice? I am scared I did something horrible.I didnt help a kid 3 years ago.I feel like I left them in danger.I am so sorry.The worst is I didnt helped in all these years.I want to tell the kid I am sorry but I dont want to make them remember.I got terrible thoughts and I still have them and I feel like I betrayed them and still betray them.Bcs I didnt help and bcs of the thoughts.I dont know but I think about what happened.and how terrible it was..especially because they told me and I didnt help.I dont know why I think that but I feel like a monster.I met with them today and with their parents (which I feel like I betrayed them too) and I talked with them.but i was very anxious and I am scared their parents judge me .I want to help now..but idk how.Is it too late? I am scared I want to help just because I feel guilty.I want to live in the present and do something now but my mind makes me think of the past..Any advice? Thank you
- Date posted
- 16w
TW:trauma.. This can be very triggering... I was outside walking my dog.I met with the family of the kid who was hurt years ago(I mentioned abt this..it was really a bad and traumatizing event) .I warned them abt a dog (bcs they have a dog too ) who was walking around and bcs I think I saw it another day .And I talked with their mom and I thought: Am I lying ? Am I manipulating her into thinking I am a caring person when in reality I am not.Because I didnt helped the kid when they needed help.I was right there and didnt help and didnt told them.I feel like a traitor.Everytime we met and talk I am scared my friendly interactions mean I am lying to them and manipulate them.Bcs I didnt help their kid...:,( I am so so sorry for them.I feel like I left them in danger back then,that it was my fault..I cant stop thinking abt how they trusted me and I didnt help..and that event.Because no one should go through that..especially a kid.I am scared honestly..even now .And I am worried.I only care bcs their parents will be mad and blame me..I am scared I dont care abt what happened to the kid( I am sorry if this is triggering..I think these are also my intrusive thoughts) .Plus everytime I am near them I get intrusive images of what happened .And I feel like a criminal..plus other horrible thoughts that make me feel like I a monster.I have terrible thoughts over and over and I feel I am what I am scared of.That I acutually am.I started to belive this( still pray is just ocd)I know is weird( and I am sorry if this is triggering) but I feel like I am the person who hurt the kid.:,(.I just think I dissapointed them and hurt them (the kid..also the family).The worst is I dont even know if they told anyone.I will talk with a therapist abt this..but I want to know also your advices..if u can give me..I know this might be reassurance but I am desperate.These thoughts and intrusive images I get abt what happened are horrible.I cant imagine...:(.I only think abt how terrible it was for the kid..and I feel bad because I think abt it.I overthink my every action, I overthink everything abt my interactions with them and their family.This summer my family will go on a trip with them I think , and Idk if I should go.( tw: also think her dad thinks I am suspicious and I absolutely have no intent to hurt the kid.And that he think I am dangerous bcs I didnt help her:()This feels like hell and I feel like I am make myself a victim in a situation I made myself..I am sorry for putting so many tw.I know this sounds all so bad and suspicious..Either I am terrible or scared I am terrible or both...:(.Anyway I know I did a terrible mistake.Thank you so much if anyone reads all this and responds
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