I just hurt and confused. I can’t even feel comfortable with myself anymore. It’s like anxiety builds up in my chest and I feel myself on the verge on tears every time I’m alone. It’s almost as though my compulsion are kinda gone but I’m left with my thoughts and I’m just going back and forward. It’s like I try to use logic but it’s just hurting more. I don’t know how long I can go on.. I tried the initial call and felt heard and unheard at the same time …like it’s weighing on me it’s so stupid but I can’t even say what I want cause I’m stuck and trapped I just feel numb and pretending that I’m okay I don’t want any of this I am just purely surviving at this point