I came back from my job interview today and I went to sleep after I came back I woke up checked my email and I see that I have been rejected I was so close to getting the job I feel like such a failure now I even told my family I don’t understand what I did wrong in the interview

I recently lost my job and decided I don’t want to go back to the workforce. I have the skills I need to create a job for myself. Unfortunately, my fear of failure/imposter syndrome is really taking its toll. I think I’m scared I won’t be able to find clients. Meanwhile, my savings will run out, and I’ll be poor and miserable again. Because of this, my brain can’t focus and is instead compelling me to figure out the fastest route to income with the least effort and risk of failure. But everything I want to do is risky somehow. I also think I haven’t gotten over losing my job. My bosses unceremoniously laid me off at the end of my workday. They claimed it was because of budget concerns and clients asking for work that was outside my skill set, but I don’t believe them. My send-off came only a few hours after I asked one of my bosses if I could do freelance work outside the office. I’d asked before because i didn’t want to do things behind their backs. But I think they saw it as me not being committed to the company anymore. My head is just a mess right now.

I feel so defeated by the therapy process. I haven’t gotten anywhere. Just needed to talk about it

Upset because a girl I met probably thinks I’m a p because she told me about this job and it involves with kids and I told her that “I can’t work with kids because I get triggered” and she said “ohh 😥” I said “OCD” she said “it’s OK I understand” and now I feel like she thinks that I’m a terrible person or she thinks I’m a p because I cannot fake it even if I need a job I don’t think it’s worth my mental health me going every day at home thinking if I did something to a kid, I would literally lose my mind.