I came back from my job interview today and I went to sleep after I came back I woke up checked my email and I see that I have been rejected I was so close to getting the job I feel like such a failure now I even told my family I don’t understand what I did wrong in the interview

Hi, I am new to this community and don’t know much about OCD or if i even have it. I am a college senior going to a university that is relatively close to my home (1.5 hr) My goal was to apply to OT school at my current school because I love it there and can’t imagine myself anywhere else. I have a high gpa, many observation hours, and was told i would be a top candidate-if I passed the GRE. This school is the only school in my state that requires the GRE for OT school. Well, with the stakes being so high I was a complete wreck before the exam. It stressed me out so much that even looking at study materials made me nauseous. I did not score high enough to get into my desired program when I took it. I am retaking it next Tuesday (which i had to beg the admissions committee to let me do due to it being past a due date) and i feel the weight of my whole future on my shoulders. If I don’t get into my desired program, I will have to go to programs that are very far from home/my boyfriend of two years who I currently live with. I feel if I don’t pass, I will have to move away to a different school and I will lose my boyfriend. He is my rock and is so important to me. My other option is to stay where I am and attend the radiography program at the local community college and stay close to home and be with my boyfriend . Note: i just decided to apply to OT school this year (changed major from nursing). Do I risk my relationship/happiness for a career that i don’t even know that I will enjoy or do i keep my relationship, stay close to home, but regret not taking a huge opportunity given to me. This situation stays in my mind all day and night which is stressing me out greatly. Sorry for such a long post, I just want an unbiased view on what I should do/how to get this thought out of my head. thx for listening <3

So i’ve been planning to apply for a job that i’ve always wanted to experienced and i’ve been looking at videos regarding that job. I was scrolling on tiktok when i stumbled upon someone on live talking about the job. i had a very bad intrusive thought and my anxious mind told me that in order to be safe, i need to find that exact live and fix the thought. i’ve been scrolling for the past hour and have not been able to find the account. my brain is not linking the job to the intrusive thought. why is this happening 💔

I’ve recently become unemployed and the journey to finding a new job is honestly unbearable. I struggle with a major lack of self confidence and I don’t believe I’m good at anything nor smart enough for it, so whenever I look at job websites and see different things advertised I panic. Even with what I’ve wanted to do for years, the thought of going out and doing that makes me feel horrendous because I don’t think I’m capable of doing it. And what doesn’t help is the fact I’ve told my parents this and they just scream at me saying I can’t sit around doing nothing every day when that’s already something I don’t want to do. I want a job, I want to do something I enjoy, I like working I do, and once I’m it in I know I’ll enjoy it, but there’s certain things stopping me from going for it. I hate myself over every possible level to the thought of people seeing me everyday is making me panic, I don’t think I’m very intelligent so anything that requires me to do maths or organise numbers or anything like that is out of the question. I’ve worked in hospitality for 7 years, doing shit I despise and I honestly have hated every moment of it so I can’t go back there. It’s all scaring me, all making me feel like I’m just incapable of doing anything right, I genuinely just don’t even want to wake up tomorrow because the thought of living this life for the rest of my life is ridiculous. I don’t want to do it. I don’t have anything I’m good at, there’s nothing I enjoy what the hell am I meant to do with that? I’m honestly so stuck. Everyone keeps saying “beggars can’t be choosers” but this is my fucjing life and I have to do a shit job that makes me want to throw myself off a 30 story building till I’m 70? Fuck no. What kind of life is that? Just so I can make money? And afford bills? And pay to live? wtf I don’t even want to be here so why am I doing that. I don’t enjoy living I a really fucking hate it. And working down the local grocery store is just not gonna make me wanna be here any longer. I really hate it here and now I have to find a job that I’ll hate? I’m so stuck