I did a lot of embarassing and stupid shit in the past. And it's all coming back to haunt me. I was so immature. I was a bad person.

I was a weirdo

I can't seem to escape my past, I wanted to be a good person

Don't hurt yourself,it will not solve your problems.. everyone makes mistakes, big ones. It doesn't mean they are bad or good, we are way complicated then that.

It can be okay. There can be times when you won’t be thinking of all this. Don’t give up.

I feel the same way.

You may feel like you still keep on doing things you regret in the past, and with that guilt you'll ended up being disturbed and it's trying to define you that it won't let you go. You might be still possible to repeat all those things all over, but remember, You are a person. Just because your behavior doesn't do right, it doesn't mean it's all over for you. Now, take a breath and think: If you are free from your situation, what will you do? And what is that kind of person you will be if you got that freedom? Remember your behavior doesn't define you. It is who you are in your heart. OCD or whatever your problem is, it's just a life's challenge. You are stronger than your mind tells you. It will only last in the present, but in the future you have a destiny where you won't be that "immature person" you see in yourself that you hate today. Therefore, Go and rise. Pray for the overcoming, seek help like from this community and just don't give up finding your strength. You are amazing because soon you will have a story to tell. Just don't give up.