- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
Whatever it is you tell OCD that you want out of reassurance it isn't gonna help in the long run. The thing about though is they just happen and we're hyper aware of them in this state. Just because we are though, doesn't mean they have more importance. It's really hard to look at thoughts like that and go "oh, well there's an irrelevant though" but with practice of not responding, it diminishes. This sounds like something you've been bothered with by a while. Take that, and think about what can be done differently that would help since posting about it doesn't long term. I hope that helps
- Date posted
- 3y
you’re right and i know posting won’t help. i guess i just feel stuck with fear and need to do something like that in the moment to help. it’s definitely a compulsion
- Date posted
- 3y
@garden Yeah absolutely. And that's okay. As long as you see the it's a compulsion that's a great start. This is really hard to break out of because you truthfully don't want something like that to even be a small possibility. It shows the true character you have, but the compulsion of that doesn't help it in the long run. What sucks if you have to do the opposite of that to get around it.
- Date posted
- 3y
I’m glad you feel like you’ve taken a step for yourself.
- Date posted
- 3y
but i’m scared it’s accepting ‘the truth’!
- Date posted
- 3y
@garden Not necessarily accepting that it would 100% happen, but rather you're accepting the 0.02% chance that it could be a possibility, but you leave it as is. What won't work for anyone that has this doubting disorder is making sure that the possibility won't come true, which is honestly something I have trouble with doing still, after 2 years of dealing with this. You have to look at it as "Oh, this could happen potentially, but so what?" I know that's almost impossible because when we have something like this we subconsciously seek that 100% confirmation diligently. And that's what makes this so frustrating.
- Date posted
- 3y
@BigGip09 the thing is, when i told myself it could happen and so what, i actually felt better and not scared anymore :(
- Date posted
- 3y
@garden Have you tried ERP?
- Date posted
- 3y
@garden Good! It worked! That's what we want more of. That's hard, I know, but if you can take time to practice that, you can get better. :) We're sorry that you have to go through something like this on such a level, but it can be fixed!
- Date posted
- 3y
@BigGip09 thank you it means a lot that you’re trying to help. i suppose i just always thought erp was meant to be scary, but accepting the worst case scenario brought be some peace. which made it not feel like ocd i guess.
- Date posted
- 3y
I still have a lot to learn about OCD, but from what I know, making you doubt “the truth” about yourself is a big thing that happens with this disorder! You are *so*not alone in this! I hope you can try not to let that thought hold you back!
- Date posted
- 3y
thank you ❤️
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w
Why are things so real the first time they’re in my mind and then when I think about it later it’s easier for me to be like wtf?? I was watching a movie earlier and the young girl had developed more in the chest area than the last movie and I felt the desire to check her out so I did. Then later I let myself imagine her having sex and I liked it. But now looking back I’m like ew. The boys in the movie have also developed as the movie went on and I couldn’t help but think that in their real life they’ve probably woken up to boners and s*men and stuff. And looking back it’s just ugh. Idk if it’s sexual relevance but I genuinely let myself indulge in these thoughts and groinal responses and I remember thinking to myself I don’t want to be attracted to little kids and how do I stop myself (everyone has attractive qualities so in younger boys I see man like qualities). Idk I need help. I wouldn’t type this out if I truly believe I was messed up but I’m still scared
- Date posted
- 23w
𝕊𝕔𝕒𝕣𝕪 𝕚𝕟𝕔𝕚𝕕𝕖𝕟𝕥 😞𝕋𝕎𝕋𝕎𝕋𝕎 ℙ𝕃𝔼𝔸𝕊𝔼 𝔻𝕆ℕ'𝕋 ℝ𝔼𝔸𝔻 𝕀𝔽 𝔼𝔸𝕊𝕀𝕃𝕐 𝔻𝕀𝕊𝕋𝕌ℝ𝔹𝔼𝔻 𝔹𝕐 𝕋ℍ𝔼𝕄𝔼𝕊 𝕎𝕀𝕋ℍ 𝕂𝕀𝔻𝕊 hi everyone, I am really struggling with something disturbing and I'm so afraid I'm a PDF. So my sis came to visit with my nephew for the first time. So the other day we were taking pics with the baby I was already feeling kinda nervous cuz I never held a baby before. Anyway it was my turn and I like I wonder if this would sexually stimulate him( not exactly the thought but the of thought was more graphic and I don't wanna disturb anyone). And I can't remember if I thought that while I was bumping him on my stomach (like how people bump babies on their hips) or before I started doing so. Anyways I can't really remember what my reaction to that thought was or if I started bumping him before or after I had that thought... So I tried not to think much of it but over time I started to spiral really bad and wonder why I thought that and why then I would bump him on my stomach after having that thought or during. I just feel so disgusted. Like was I curious about it? Did I disregard the thought because my brain thinks disturbing things? Ik right now away from that situation that ofc I have no sexual interest in my nephew at all. I played with him and helped changed diaper and everything and never had the urge to do anything inappropriate to him besides that one weird instance. So like I'm so disturbed like did that mean something? I have P OCD but that didn't really feel like an intrusive thought? I also can be very impulsive, and if it was impulsive does that mean I had a desire? Now I'm terrified of having kids even though I wanted some or to foster some. I mean I know but myself I'm not sexually attracted to kids but then why would I think that I am so disturbed really and feel so sick. 😞😞😞😞 I don't know what to do I'm so scared about what my motivation was I feel so bad and scared😞😞😞😞
- Date posted
- 22w
I’m struggling badly. I did something about a month ago which I now realize was probably testing, but what scares me is I feel like I liked it, which is horrifying. What’s even worse though, is after I did it, I was able to brush it off quickly and not be too bothered by it, as I was still very anxious on other thoughts I was experiencing. Now those thoughts are meaningless and THIS is what’s causing tremendous anxiety, but the fact that I didn’t feel anxiety about it after I did it seals the deal for me. I mean, did feel anxious and guilty after I did it, but I was able to dismiss it somewhat quickly, and I remember that memory came up a couple of times within the month after I did it but like I said, it hasn’t too hard to dismiss it. I really feel like it’s denial. The fact that I wasn’t that anxious about it and tried to justify it/dismiss it HAS to mean it’s been denial all this time, there just no way this is OCD :( Right now I’m anxious about the fact that I might’ve liked it AND the fact that I wasn’t anxious about it for a while. It is really just a torment to ruminate on, and I would never do that thing again, but the fact that I did it and felt like I liked it is beyond terrifying. I feel like I have proof now, I’m trying to figure out why I did it and what it meant, and why I wasn’t super anxious the following weeks after, I mean it WAS uncomfortable to think back on, but I feel like the fact I wasn’t super anxious about it means I was in denial or repressing my true self. I am so so scared. I’ve been worried about this for the past week and a half :( (This is all centered on the same theme btw.)
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