I can’t tell you it will go away, but I can tell you I suffer too
Well I'd keep a few things in mind. Not everyone needs to know your past. You can be selective with who knows. It doesn't make you a bad person or anything like that. You're just allowed to have regrets you don't want to talk about. Most people do. Secondly you'd be surprised who might be understanding of what happened. We tend to see the most extreme opinions on social media about things but when you remove people from that environment they're a lot more reasonable than you'd imagine. And if they know more about you you might give you more mercy than someone else because they better understand why it happened and your better qualities. This doesn't mean go confess to everyone but just keep in mind most people have regrets and people are more understanding than we tend to give them credit for.
I mean, you're really right. I didn't mention but I did talked about multiple events to some of my closest friends and none of them judged me. They comforted me and supported me because they know me so well and appreciates me. I think its just this loop of thinking I didn't tell enough and in much details and they don't know how much of a horrible person I am and Yada Yada That's why I try really hard not to confess anymore because it doesn't really help. I just wanna be able to live with peace with myself. I'm in a journey of finding a therapist.