Real Event OCD is trying to hold me back from goals and dreams of mine. Like for example, in my teens I used to be miserable so I would be mean online and as a result mean comments from me , some of which I was able to delete are out there and although I am not like this anymore, the fear of me starting my podcast and someone finding things I said and did and me getting cancelled and losing what I worked for keeps me from recording my podcast.

Same

Maybe do a podcast on your online history. Call it out, go over what you were going the through and the mistakes you made. Make it know before anyone "digs it up" and there can't be some scandal and you won't look like your just trying to save face when you claim "I was different then". This will make you real and relatable, everyone has phases in their life where they made mistakes, especially as teens. It's when stuff gets dug up and it looks like someone was trying to hide it that people make assumptions on someone's character.