m15
- Date posted
- 3y
Rainbow sky!! Rainbow sky!!
- Date posted
- 3y
I deal wit the same thing wit contamination ocd I recently had pest control coke to my new apartment and sprayed bug spray on majority of my carpet everything is contaminated now and it can be spread so if something touched the carpet it’s contaminated this has happened a few years ago to I didn’t even no years ago I would’ve been triggered by bug spray and I bombed my apartment at the time and I vacuumed and swiffered my carpets everyday to clean them and cleaned the side of my bed wit wipes so I didn’t bump against it and contaminate my body and clothes I would then take apart my vacuum and clean it inside and out I could only wear my clothes once cause they’d be exposed to my contaminated apartment and I’d have to wash my clothes so much and washing clothes was hard cause I have to wash my hands prior to touching my clothes to keep them clean I don’t use closets and dressers I keep all my clean and dirty clothes in seperate zipper clothes bags to keep them sealed away from any contaminates I was washing my hands till they literally bled and had these cracks in them so it would burn to clean but I had to clean everyday it was like putting lemons in my cuts it maid it hard to shower cause running my fingers threw my hair would just go rite into my cuts it was so painful I couldn’t put neosporin on my hands either cause that’s a contaminate to me and prior to cleaning and washing clothes showering dressing I’d have to wash all the neosporin off really well so I could do my rituals and tasks and not have neosporin being spread to the clean surfaces I was cleaning spread into the shower if I’d shower and be on my shampoo bottles I just have so many rituals there so complex now I’ve been doing some for 15 years there just repetitive and exhausting turning circles and washing hands and putting on deodorant in an order and symmetry kind of way cleaning my ears and face order and symmetry washing my hair and my body and shaveing and then the rules I can’t wear grey I can’t use and wear certain brands products and clothes I can’t use wierd looking hair brushes eat and certain resteraunts eat certain foods and drink certain drinks eat certain snacks like I could go on and on it’s insane then trying to get help they can’t possible understand wat ocd realy is even though I tell them I’m on ssi for it I can’t work cause I’m barely liveing that ocd is real and it’s sever it’s lonely to even doctors and therapists don’t understand you it’s extremely frustrating I can’t even go to a mental hospital cause they can’t help I need ocd inpatient and there’s none in Tennessee I’d have to go out of state but my insurance won’t cover out of state it’s insane.
m15m15
- Date posted
- 3y
Thankyou so much for replying you’ve hit the nail on the head and I feel so comforted knowing there’s somebody who can relate I’m sorry you’re going through this it’s horrible especially when like you said doctors struggle to understand the severity of it and feeling like you’re going in circles, it stops us from doing the ‘simplest’ of things like going out for a walk there’s so many things we have to do before we can even get out the house
Devin (they/them)Devin (they/...
- Date posted
- 3y
I would suggest trying to get hospitalized or in an outpatient program specializing in ocd.
m15m15
- Date posted
- 3y
Thankyou so much !
Rainbow sky!! Rainbow sky!!
- Date posted
- 3y
I heard a thing that if everyone got 8 spoons a day and watever they did that day like dressing showering laundry work some of those things require energy and focus normal ppl don’t use there spoons on dressing and showering but maybe need 1 spoon for laundry and use 2 spoons at work they have 5 spoons left for the day but ppl wit ocd need spoons for simple things so dressing mite require you to use 2 spoons then showering takes 2 spoons work takes 4 spoons that’s all your spoons you have none left and all you did was dress shower and work so you have no more spoons to do laundry to cook to grocery shop to do anything but sit and even sitting doing ocd stuff you have no more spoons and each day you start wit less and less spoons till you only have enough spoons to dress and shower and eat all your spoons are going towards your ocd it’s just a thing to show ppl that ppl wit ocd have a harder time doing things and it requires more energy more focus and normal ppl don’t think dressing and showering and grocery shopping leaveing the house are hard it’s nothing to them but maybe work and laundry and stuff like that they would think they’d use energy towards but for the most part they don’t have a hard time doing there hair putting on clothes washing there hair and body shaveing they don’t do any crazy rituals they don’t count they don’t think things are contaminated they have no fear and worry but I have no spoons left I get up dress and eat but that’s bout all I have energy for.
Rainbow sky!! Rainbow sky!!
- Date posted
- 3y
I can’t get help threw this app cause they don’t accept my insurance but my mom mite be able to help me and my insurance mite reimburse me the money to I just don’t have the money to give to even be reimbursed there’s mental health places round me and therapists and some mental hospital’s but they don’t treat ocd they only medicate and I’ve been doing stuff like that for 15 years wondering wat I wasn’t getting better for and I had moments of being better but still had rituals still had social anxiety and agoraphobia and anxiety and anxiety attacks panick attacks I had never had a doctor tell me bout exposure and response therpay I had no idea ocd was it’s own thing that there was ocd specialists out there that ocd can’t be treated like other mental health issues that everything I had been doing to try and get better wasn’t working cause it’s not treated like other things I’m so upset that noone ever told me I’ve changed medications every year for 4 years I brought my mom in to help tlk to the doctor I tried getting a therapist 2 seperate times I was wiery of going into the mental hospital I had gone to as a child cause I didn’t no wat they could do to help cause they didn’t do anything when I was a kid either but I finally admitted myself and I was discharged in 3 days and told they didn’t have to resources to help me and a referral to an inpatient ocd place in Chicago I got denied cause they didn’t accept my insurance this all happened years ago I still ain’t got any help I’ve just been suffering I literally thought I was just gonna have to be like this till I read bout exposure and response therpay and that there is help for ppl wit ocd so hopefully I can find some help I’m going to a mental health place for medication but even that makes me nervous being medicated by doctors who don’t understand ocd there just giveing me meds as if I’ve not been on every med in the world it seems like I’m just tired I want to get better and I hope things change for ppl like us this is no way to live.
Related posts
ynnej
- Date posted
- 24w
What do I do?
For the past couple of months, I’ve had a really big fear of like my hand basically going down there or objects going down there and like being contaminated. This basically leads me to be scared of being on my own and doing things without people near (because if I do everything in front of someone they would tell me if I did something), also tucking my shirt. This started last October too and I remember crying for like hours everyday. Now I’m better but I do compulsions like tucking my shirt in a specific way so I know my hand couldn’t reach there. I’m scared to even get ready for the day, brush my teeth, etc with my shirt untucked because I’m scared those objects will be contaminated or I’ll do something to contaminate them. I’ve been trying to stop this compulsion of tucking my shirt in for a while but I’m not really going anywhere.
oneday.x
- Date posted
- 22w
Feel like it's not even OCD anymore
This is ruining every part of my life. The carpet on my staircase is old and pretty dirty, and there's dried mud on it. There's brown bits, which I'm convinced is cat poop and there's a good chance it could be because there have been multiple times my cat has had it stuck to her after going in the litter tray. It's impossible to clean so I don't try, and my parents don't probably because they don't see it's dirty and because it's such an old worn out thing anyway. So I wear slippers everywhere except my bedroom. Only, the other day I stepped somewhere contaminated in socks and then put my slippers back on, so now they're contaminated on the inside which defeats the whole point. So now, if I want to get into bed, I have to take my slippers off outside my door, and my socks, and I have to put new socks on, but if I do that I have to wash my hands again. Which means going to the bathroom. Which means putting the slippers on. Which means I'm contaminated again. I feel so sick and I want to cry. There are so many not hygienic things in my house, and it makes living with this so much harder. I tell myself that what I'm going through are compulsions and intrusive thoughts and obsessions but how can that be true if there's a very real chance the brown on my staircase is cat poop? How can it be true when it's my own fault because I'm too lazy to clean it and I'm too lazy to try fixing the issue when there are so many things stopping me and there are so many things not hygienic about the house. I want to cry, it's too much. I can't tell myself I'm being irrational when I'm being rational. I just can't keep doing this. I want to lay in bed until I feel better but I never feel better. I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow about my ocd symptoms and thoughts but what am I meant to say? My house is a state and covered in mud on the carpet, and it sends me into multiple mental breakdowns a week? A day? Surely that's not ocd but instead is perfectly rational? I can't cope with any of this anymore, I want so badly to live in hygiene and cleanliness. It doesn't matter how hard I try, I'm never clean. I will never be clean. And I keep trying to tell myself that even if it's cat poop, it's not the end of the world. But I feel so ashamed. I feel dirty. I just want all of this to stop being so difficult.
bun <3
- Date posted
- 15w
everything around me feels contaminated :((
sorry this is super long i just wanna know if anyone else has been thru something similar bc i feel super alone 🩷 i have super bad contamination ocd. it was bad already but my house was like my safe space until a few months ago someone brought something into my house that i considered ‘contaminated’. and so then i felt like that part of the house was contaminated, then it spread to everything outside my room (since family is moving around touching stuff) and then somehow i got convinced everything in my room except my bed is contaminated and i need to wash my hands after touching it. in my mind its like the contamination just infinitely spreads to things after the tiniest bit of touch. idek what im afraid of anymore or even what the original thing was but i can’t let it go. when i have to wash off contamination i have to wash at least 4 times or until it feels right, or sometimes take rlly long showers and wipe down all my stuff. i even throw away food and clothes or just whole items sometimes because they feel so contaminated i don’t want them in my space. i can’t be super near people or have anyone touch me, and i also can’t bring anything new into my room since it had to go through the entry of my house which feels contaminated. i feel like all i do is lay in bed and then wash my hands and do compulsions so i can go eat or do other stuff around the house. also i never go out because i’m bc people outside make me feel dirty, and i hate thinking about how many people have touched stuff in stores or in public and stuff. so im just in my room worrying all day. i feel so trapped and the contamination/avoiding it is all i think about anymore i barely have time for anything else and im never present when i talk to people because im worrying about if i accidentally got contaminated. im starting erp next week and knowing that im going to have to expose myself to things is really freaking me out. does anyone else have this kind of ocd ? im exhaustedddd 🥲🥲💔
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