- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
Hi! I’ve had HOCD for over a year now. I understand how you feel when there are two different voices speaking to you in your head, one that reflects your morals and character, and the other who taunts you with thoughts that go against all of that. I know this is easier said than done, but what has worked for me is when I have these thoughts I say “I’m having an intrusive thought, take some deep breaths and sit with that anxiety, and then move on to what I was doing before the intrusive thought happened.” Start with small steps, maybe you practice not giving in to compulsions for 30min, then move up slowly to half the day, the whole day, etc. Everyone is different, so whatever works best for you is great. You got this!
- Date posted
- 3y
thank u , it just feels like my ocd gets worse everyday, i always wake up and i get swarmed by these thoughts the more i do research it just makes me look for the things i had found to relief me against me and it makes me feel like im rlly not straight, it went from “ur not gay” to oh no ur “bi” its like my mind wont allow me to believe im straight
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- 3y
@hvn I get that! Try your best not to research things too much. It can be a compulsion to seek reassurance. Have you seen a NOCD Therapist?
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- 3y
@OCD_1day@aTime ✨ i havent
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- 3y
@OCD_1day@aTime ✨ im only 16 so i cant get an actual therapist to consistently help me
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- 3y
@hvn If you check with your Insurance Company to see if NOCD is in network, it could just be a copay you have to pay each time. You could then see a Therapist with a schedule that works best for you!
- Date posted
- 3y
Same but as a girl. It’s really horrible and eats you up alive. I’m so tired mentally and I just feel always stressed and pain on my chest
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- 3y
wdym but as a girl? sorry if i offended u
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- 3y
@hvn That I’m a girl haha, so it’s the opposite for me
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- 3y
@San2 ohh sorry that u have to go through that its rlly nice to know i have someone to relate to how long u been going through it for
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- 3y
@hvn Oh I’m sorry I thought I read that you were a boy so i meant that I have those thoughts too but I’m a girl
- Date posted
- 3y
@hvn Uhmm I think like 2 months now? First I had rocd I had a boyfriend. We broke up for 4 months now and i was devastated because of it. So like 2 months ago it switched up to soocd and my rocd thoughts are less worse
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- 3y
@San2 u have a rocd when ur single
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- 3y
@San2 sorry if i offended u with my question before
- Date posted
- 3y
@hvn Well, I had rocd thoughts in the relationship. And when we broke up (he broke up with me) my thoughts were still there and it kept me from being sad but then after a while the sadness was stronger than the thoughts and evertything came out. Now it has switched to soocd and the rocd thoughts sometimes still comes but then more as, your less sad about him now, guess I’m in to girls then. So it is horrible because deep down I know these thoughts are ridiculous and I’m just still not over my ex but these thoughts keep me from healing or someting
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- 3y
@hvn Oh no I don’t mind haha
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- 3y
@San2 its one step at a time u know just try to be patient u have plenty of time
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- 3y
@San2 do u have any socials i could contact u on i find ur story interesting im 15 btw if you’d like to know
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- 3y
@hvn Uhmm I don’t haha it triggers me. And I’m not diagnosed yet
Related posts
- Date posted
- 18w
I’ve recovered from HOCD before and got my attraction and my usual actual identity back. I was recovered from end 2022- start 2025 until I got triggered UGHHH😭 My HOCD is REALLY trying to convince me and it’s SO annoying cause I genuinely don’t want these thoughts. I know I naturally like men and always have done so. I can’t wait for my first therapy session in two days Omg! I need your advice, not necessarily reassurance, but more advice? My HOCD is throwing random “proof” I did/ saw as a child in my face, which back then had no meaning in my life and I continued to live a perfectly heterosexual life. I’ve educated myself about arousal non concordance / child’s play, but it still doesn’t remove the HOCD. I’ve read therapists great explanations on how it’s not a sexuality issue, BUT ITS AN OCD BRAIN ISSUE. So basically I’ve been straight and i will die as straight. But my ocd is still continuing with the intrusive thoughts/flashbacks. I’ve had some moments where I haven’t done as many compulsions and had less anxiety but still had those damn thoughts and I DO NOT want those damn thoughts. I have so much proof and factual/logical explanations but HOCD is still continuing to thrive. I absolutely hate this and I feel so alone. I wish there was a reset button cause I don’t want these thoughts to happen. I want a man and I stand by that. How do y’all deal with these situations? Cause sitting with the thoughts is clearly not helping.
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- Young adults with OCD
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- Sexual Orientation OCD
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- Date posted
- 17w
I’ve been struggling with HOCD for years, and it started with an intrusive thought about being gay when I was younger. It came up at age 12 and ever since, I’ve been trapped in a cycle of doubt and anxiety. I obsess over whether or not I’m secretly gay, even though I don’t feel that way at all. What makes it worse is the fear that I might have internalized homophobia, and that’s why I’m having these obsessive thoughts. I worry that my anxiety is a sign that I’m repressing something or rejecting part of myself. It feels like my mind keeps repeating the same question—am I gay?—and no matter how much reassurance I get, the fear doesn’t go away. I used to pray for my family members, fearing that if I didn’t, something bad would happen to them, and now it feels like I have to control these thoughts, or something will go wrong. For a while, it was quieter, but a week ago, the thoughts spiraled up again, and now the anxiety feels overwhelming again. It’s exhausting, and I don’t know how to break free from this constant loop of doubt. Has anyone dealt with the fear of internalized homophobia alongside HOCD? How do you manage the anxiety that comes with it?
- Date posted
- 12w
Hey everyone, I’m reaching out because I’ve been going through one of the hardest mental spirals of my life, and I’m hoping someone can relate or shed light on what’s happening to me. About 4 months ago, I accidentally came across a trans porn scene. It didn’t do much at the time, but later it triggered this overwhelming intrusive thought: “What if I’m gay?” Since then, it’s been absolute hell. I’ve always been into women—emotionally, sexually, everything. I’ve been in a long-term relationship with a girl I love deeply. But after that moment, my brain started spiraling into nonstop analysis. I began checking how I felt around men, whether I felt attraction, whether I was in denial, whether I was lying to myself. Literally everything became a test. I got stuck in this loop: • A thought pops in → panic • Try to solve it → brief relief • Another thought → worse panic • Repeat. At times, it got so bad I couldn’t feel anything at all—toward my girlfriend, toward women, toward myself. I started doubting everything. Some days, I feel emotionally flat, like I’ve lost my personality. Other days, I wake up with a full-body jolt of “truth” like “I’m definitely gay”—only for it to fade into numbness again. I’ve also noticed that I get short bursts of peace when I stop reacting, but then the fear comes back louder, like “See? Now you’re accepting it. That means it’s true.” Therapy hasn’t helped much so far—it felt more like general counseling. They told me to sit with the thoughts, but didn’t clarify if this was OCD, identity questioning, or trauma. That just made it worse because now I’m back to thinking “What if I’m just rejecting my truth?” I’m exhausted. I’ve lost connection to everything I used to love. • I want to love my girl again the way I used to • I want to feel desire without overthinking • I want to trust myself again I’m not looking for reassurance—I just want to know if anyone else has gone through something like this, and if this sounds like HOCD or identity OCD. Thanks for reading.
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