I have had ocd for along time I had no childhood no normal high school experiences no work experiences I’ve just been trying to get better all these years and appear normal to try to have some kind of similar normal kid experiences that everyone else was haveing instead of spending hours on simple homework riteing and reriteing till I eventually had to get a tutor to help me but I was still spending hours on the homework simple homework but my ocd made me feel like I was not riteing the letters rite and going over the same letters another thing is I was spending 2 hours in the shower doing order and symmetry stuff and getting that just rite feeling so I was busy wit ocd others were being a kid and it sucks im now 29 and still haveing issues I’m on ssi and make 500 something dollars a month there’s no security in that I can’t live on my own and can’t even begin to explain the life I’ve had cause of my ocd and a couple months ago I learned bout exposure and response prevention I read ppl posts and other ppl story’s that were exactly like mine doctors and therapists don’t understand ocd and that’s who was treating all of us and I just think that should be illegal for doctors to not understand and continue to prescribe medications when do they tell the patient there’s specific ocd help out there and refer them somewere else cause I’ve never had anyone tell me that I could’ve gotten help years ago the help that I actually needed I could’ve had a different life not filled with ocd but these hospitals and doctors and therapists chose to keep me and treat me when they shouldn’t have and now I’m trying to get help and can’t cause nowere in Tennessee accepts my insurance and there’s not even any inpatient ocd places here and it’s so common for ocd sufferers to not get help cause there’s just not alot of help out there it’s crazy I can’t get help even though I’m begging for it all cause of my insurance and it’s 40000 dollars a month at an inpatient place who the fuck can afford that this is all rediculous.

I had to cancel my therapy because it was no longer available with my insurance. And I just kind of feel hopeless with OCD. Even when I was doing therapy, I think my OCD started getting too complicated for my therapist and she didn’t even know what to do. My fears are so complex it’s crazy. So my big fear is my OCD being bad and being super depressed again like I was a few months ago in high school. I attended a public highschool for a semester and started the worst flare up I’ve ever had. I was harshly bullied for no reason whatsoever, and not accepted by anyone. I am an athletic kid who usually keeps to himself so I didn’t understand why people targeted me, especially when I wanted nothing to do with them. From August to now ( March) I CANNOT grasp hold of my OCD. I am very hard on myself about it. Going into dangers anytime I see one so I can expose myself. But constantly obsessing about if I’m doing enough for my OCD. And comparing myself to how I use to be, before the flare ups. From the moment I wake up to the moment I go to sleep I’m obsessing about my OCD and if it’s bad and comparing. Another HUGE fear of mine is being treated differently because I have OCD. So being bullied for so long I always assumed it was because I was shy and didn’t want to stand up for myself - due to my OCD- so I blamed myself for everything that continued to happen, . from people bullying me in the past . The people at that highschool were downright crazy. Even the teachers and coaches had major issues and I’m so glad to be out of there, but I still obsess the same everyday and hold so much resentment for that school and when I try to let it go, I just feel more passive pain and obsess even more about it weather my ocd is okay or not. I feel mentally sick. Please someone give me some advice for my fears, because I feel like I’m doing everything in my power to expose myself to everything but nothings working.

I really do want to go to therapy or psychiatrist to diagnosed my OCD and give me a treatment but it costs a lot. OCD ruins my life and consumes my mind I wish I can take a break from my own brain. Having OCD but undiagnosed feels like I’m crazy because people think I made that up but they don’t know how I’m struggling since I was a kid. So anyone have an advice for treat OCD especially checking OCD that doesn’t cost money? because I don’t work yet..🥲

Hi everyone, I'm in a bit of a difficult situation and I wanted to ask for some advice. I recently finished my studies and I am living from my savings while I look for a job. However this process has turned out to be a lot more difficult and tedious than I expected. I suspect I have OCD as I relate to a lot of the experiences described here, in particular those corresponding to pure OCD. I have continuous intrusive thoughts about how what I'm currently doing is not enough, I constantly need to reassured that what I'm doing is right, with some magical thinking and concerns about my relationship sprinkled in. These intrusive thoughts have made it very difficult to make any significant progress in looking for something. Added to this I'm not even sure I have OCD as I don't have the money to afford therapy right now (my mind keeps telling me that it's silly to write this message because there's no way I have OCD). I live in Switzerland so as far as I understand my insurance won't cover sessions with NOCD. In conclusion I'm a bit stuck, therapy would help with finding a job but I need a job to get therapy. If any of you have had any similar experience and have some piece of advice it would be very welcome.