Some days ago I had the realization that my cats weren't going to stay forever with me. They reached a certain age and it won't be very long until they pass away. Today these thoughts spiralized into the fear of losing my mum. We didn't make any special memories. I don't have a lot of photos with her. I'm actually crying as I write this. The realization that my mum isn't going to stay with me forever hit me hard. That she too is going to pass away. I don't want to forget her face, her voice. Doesn't that frighten you? Forgetting the very person you love? Even a photo or a video wouldn't do justice to a person's entire existence. There isn't a perfect way to remember every single detail of someone. And if you forget one detail, that it's gone forever, because you're responsible of holding the memories alive of thar someone. Even if you had a photo that would be just it. It wouldn't be enough, or anything remotely close to having that person beside you. It wouldn't bring them back. I don't really to know how to put this in words. Maybe it has something to do with perfectionism ocd. That I want the perfect memory

I used to write everything that happened with me on daily basis. It can be any type of information like about my conversation with friends or family or what I eat, what someone did to me, bad experiences but I was doing It excessively. I used to write everything to conserve every type of memory which doesn't Even important for me. Like I couldn't resist my self to write about all bus journeys or all restaurants that I have been. But about 2 months ago I destroyed my notes and my anxiety skyrocketed for 1 week. I couldn't even move from my bed due to thoughts that came in my mind. But after talking with my friends my anxiety decreased for somedays but again many thoughts around this revolved in my head. Like will I remember what I'm doing in college life in future, will I remember my memories with my parents or grandmother or will I remember about all my experiences that I have experienced from childhood like my trips etc. I know that it doesn't sound that serious but it is affecting me very severely. I am not able to enjoy my life due to these thoughts and most of the time I feel sad and depressed. Can anyone help me about this?

I had a really bad episode 2 months ago. Started therapy and meds and have been getting better. then this past weekend I was slammed with a completely new set of intrusive thoughts about my mother's mortality. She is alive and well and I see her often but yet I can't shake the idea of her death and how my life will never be the same and eternally broken when she dies. This feels unique because so much of my past OCD are things that either can't happen or are unlikely. But this is certain. We all die. And I have no idea how to start to deal with this.

Hi everyone. A couple years ago I struggled with harm ocd, quite literally thinking i will wake up one day and become a serial killer. Anyway, i struggled with that for 2 years and then i finally got over it. Now 4 years later and mind you i thought i completely battled ocd and was done with it, i started to deal with existenital ocd. This consumed me for a good month until i got over it and another thought came. I started thinking about how time goes by way to fast, and how thing's from 2 years ago feel like yesterday. I then started to to become obsessed with remembering everything. Then somehow this thought trickled into me and my boyfriends nearly 3 year relationship. I started saying to myself "omg, i can't remember every little hug, cuddle, kiss, laugh, touch, conversation from like 2 or 1 year ago", this then led to me panicking and thinking that, if i cant remember those memories then I don't really know my boyfriend. I know this is confusing to understand but basically my brain convinced me that I can't remember how my boyfriend acted exactly when we first started dating s well as a year ago. This then led to me thinking that because i cant remember exactly him a year ago, then i dont know him "is he the same?". Like i know him right now but i dont know that past him. This then led to me thinking that if he ever died, i wouldnt be able to grieve because i dont really know him and since i cant recall every interaction perfectly then i dont know him and i wont have any memories to remember him by. Like when he does something funny or acts a certain way im like "did he do this before" was he always like this. I feel like i need to remember everything from the past to validate the present moment. like i need to remember everything to know the present him. Then i was like i know he is my favourite person now and that i love him more then anyone, but did i think this a year ago or 2 years ago. Like i cant remember his laugh from a year ago, or how he acted. My relationship with him is something that i cherish most out of anything in my life and just 3 months ago this thought was never a thing. I hate this because i feel like im not in the moment with him because of these thoughts, constantly trying to compare to the past. I love him so much and i just want to go back to when this wasn't an issue. I don't know why i feel like i need to remember everything to know him even though ive ben dating him for 3 years and know him better then anyone else. It's like my brain is convincing me he is a different person even though i know thats false. please help me please