Peace be upon all of you, guys there's an assignment which has to be done in two days and the professor said we should write the assignment in our own handwriting and hand it in to him, after I finished writing the draft on my laptop, I started transferring and writing it on paper in my own handwriting but since last night I was only able to write one paragraph out of hundreds because of my obsessive compulsive disorder OCD, the handwriting was supposed to look PERFECT in my eyes but it didn't I've even re-written dozens of times !!! So today i thought about telling my professor to allow me to submit the assignment electronically, but at the same time I STRONGLY FEEL THAT I AM LYING TO HIM because I didn't try enough even though I tried, I don't want to tell him that i have obsessive compulsive disorder OCD because deep down i know he won't truly and completely understand and I don't want to lie to him on another pretext, i don't know what i should do!!!! Should i tell him ? What if he said no? Please HELP ME!

i am a freshman in college and i have always struggled with depression, anxiety, and OCD. i have never received help for my OCD despite being medicated for my other two issues. i have noticed that what most of my panic stems from is my OCD and more specifically my OCD around school. i haven’t been able to get myself up for class for multiple days and im starting to panic about everything im missing and think about every little thing i have to fix. i am so behind that it makes me want to panic and i feel like i cant fix this. i just want my mind to feel normal but it feels like my whole world is falling apart all because i am feeling stuck in school. please help me i just want to feel okay but i dont know how to. i have tried doing all the assignments i can do to catch up but it isn’t enough i still feel so panicked

i’m so scared that my teacher knows about my OCD thoughts because once for therapy i had to write a diary and i did this on a school system stupidly which had documents that are private but can be flagged for mentions of suicide/self harm etc, but i didn’t write about that but what if what i did write about flagged up and she saw my thoughts also im annoyed because everytime i go in the bathroom at school i have to flick the light switch three times or i will fail my exams and if someone is in there i don’t do it but keep a count of how many overdue flicks of the light switch then go in the toilet when no one is in there and do it im also so stressed - what if its not ocd? that’s all i can think about at the moment

I had avoided a lot with school specifically, but I did do it in other areas of life as well. School for some reason has been the biggest trigger that sends me into avoidance and it has been for the longest time. Does anybody relate? If so, what did you do to help besides therapy? In high school I used to sit in the bathroom stalls for hours so I could avoid going to classes. I was struggling to keep up because my OCD makes me perfect my school work so much so to the point where I’d never turn it in because I’d never be satisfied with what I’d produce. I’d get so incredibly frustrated with myself and the fact that I could never meet my own standards, never mind the rubrics given. I took ages analyzing all my writing, all my answers, all my google slides and I burnt myself out. So I stopped trying. I stopped turning in work because I’d never be satisfied. I’d cry because I felt I wasn’t good enough. Then I’d be missing assignments, getting them done but not submitting them because I was too ashamed. So, I avoided classes because I’d be in trouble or be called out for not getting anything done. Unfortunately this habit bled into my first year of college last year, and OCD coupled up with depression, made going to the dining hall and attending classes even worse. So I avoided it all together. It’s so hard being a freshman in college, so so hard. I unfortunately failed out of that school but I tried to medically withdraw either semester. No, I wasn’t partying, or drinking or smoking or hanging with the wrong people. I was a college freshman struggling with ocd and depression. I’m trying to not make excuses for myself either because I’m well aware this is my fault and I’m trying to reverse it now at community college. Right now I’m trying to get those Fs turned into Ws from my old school so I can fix my gpa. I want to transfer, I want to be a forensic psychologist, I want to be independent, I want to be ok. It’s gonna take me so long to transfer from community college but that’s on me. I’m willing to put in the work. I’m so embarassed, please help me.