- Username
- idont241
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I’m virtually holding your hand, @idont241. I’ve been where you are and i know it’s so dark. I wish I could give you a hug because I know the agony. I’m literally crying right now cause I’m just so sad- none of us deserve this.
@idont241 The thoughts will never go away, we just have to be able to not pay them any attention. I’ve seen all your posts and I identify them with every single one of them but only with guys. It’s driving me crazy as well. But we will get over this, I’ve been where you are right now but I’m having it worse. I no longer feel anxious by my gay thoughts, they even seem “pleasurable”. My head is thrown in a cycle saying “see, no anxiety. You’re gay” but If I was gay I would have no problem with it. It’s just it doesn’t feel right to me. We will get over this. Trust me. My brain is creating false memories and feelings as well.
It is so hard right now. I don’t know anything. I can’t look at a straight couple anymore without being filled with anxiety and thoughts. My head hurts so much from crying. I am done with this. I don’t know who i am capable of loving. All of my normal rituals I did to try to distract myself are gone because I am in a total different country right now. Thinking is so hard now. I used to be this happy person now I am not. I literally think every woman is good looking now. This is the worst thing that has ever happened to me
I am just so lost right now. I feel numb
I read it. My head keeps telling me I’ll like these thoughts one day. I am so confused. I can’t even hear anyone talk about relationships without turning so anxious
Idont241 it s OCD ! Don t worry about that you have to stop thinking about and convince yourself it s just OCD I ve been there too and I surpass it. Leah25 yes none of us deserve this :'(
Don t say that :( we can do it !! Sometimes we fall but we recover !
I don’t think I’ll ever recover tho. I am so lost, I can’t feel what’s real and what’s not. I don’t even recognize myself. I am so tired
I m so tired too so so so so sooooo tired but I fall and i rise always always for yeaaaaaars
you will recover! don’t say that , your letting your ocd get the best of you right now , don’t let it show ocd who’s boss!!
We can do it !!!! We have noo choice !!! We have to deal with it
Hocd is constantly saying to me that I'm just in denial. Like it's trying to force me to be something I don't want to, it keeps telling me that I should just give in, and that terrifies me. It tells me that I'm actually unconsciously homophobic (I never was), and that's why I resist it so much. I don't know what to do anymore, I'm so sad and hopeless. Hocd is crushing all my dreams and expectations for the future.
I feel like I'm at the end of my road , and there's no point to live having HOCD the rest of my life
HOCD is the worst thing ever. I wouldn’t even wish this upon my worst enemies. How it’s ruined my life. My happiness. My security. My everything. I have no idea who I am anymore. I never would have thought that this could have happened to me. I envy the people who don’t have HOCD. How wonderful it must be to not question your sexuality 24/7 and feel anxious all of the time. I really want to just die. I am so broken inside. I guess I’ll just have to accept bisexuality as “me.” It is what it is now. I am no longer myself anymore. I’m gone. I just can’t believe this happened. How could it? I’m so dead inside. I never thought I would have to worry about this. Guess life had another idea.
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