idont241
- Date posted
- 6y ago
lehamleham
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I’m virtually holding your hand, @idont241. I’ve been where you are and i know it’s so dark. I wish I could give you a hug because I know the agony. I’m literally crying right now cause I’m just so sad- none of us deserve this.
IannIann
- Date posted
- 6y ago
@idont241 The thoughts will never go away, we just have to be able to not pay them any attention. I’ve seen all your posts and I identify them with every single one of them but only with guys. It’s driving me crazy as well. But we will get over this, I’ve been where you are right now but I’m having it worse. I no longer feel anxious by my gay thoughts, they even seem “pleasurable”. My head is thrown in a cycle saying “see, no anxiety. You’re gay” but If I was gay I would have no problem with it. It’s just it doesn’t feel right to me. We will get over this. Trust me. My brain is creating false memories and feelings as well.
idont241idont241
- Date posted
- 6y ago
It is so hard right now. I don’t know anything. I can’t look at a straight couple anymore without being filled with anxiety and thoughts. My head hurts so much from crying. I am done with this. I don’t know who i am capable of loving. All of my normal rituals I did to try to distract myself are gone because I am in a total different country right now. Thinking is so hard now. I used to be this happy person now I am not. I literally think every woman is good looking now. This is the worst thing that has ever happened to me
idont241idont241
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I am just so lost right now. I feel numb
idont241idont241
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I read it. My head keeps telling me I’ll like these thoughts one day. I am so confused. I can’t even hear anyone talk about relationships without turning so anxious
zaz11zaz11
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Idont241 it s OCD ! Don t worry about that you have to stop thinking about and convince yourself it s just OCD I ve been there too and I surpass it. Leah25 yes none of us deserve this :'(
zaz11zaz11
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Don t say that :( we can do it !! Sometimes we fall but we recover !
idont241idont241
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I don’t think I’ll ever recover tho. I am so lost, I can’t feel what’s real and what’s not. I don’t even recognize myself. I am so tired
zaz11zaz11
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I m so tired too so so so so sooooo tired but I fall and i rise always always for yeaaaaaars
marina<3marina<3
- Date posted
- 6y ago
you will recover! don’t say that , your letting your ocd get the best of you right now , don’t let it show ocd who’s boss!!
zaz11zaz11
- Date posted
- 6y ago
We can do it !!!! We have noo choice !!! We have to deal with it
zaz11zaz11
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Related posts
allyocd
- Date posted
- 17w ago
Idk if I can do this anymore
It feels like I’m lying to myself constantly and everyone. There feels like there is a weight on my heart from the moment I wake up till I go to sleep. I don’t want to be gay. Idk why it doesn’t register. Now everyone I see I have to see if I’m attracted to them. I see good looking men and I feel like I’m lying to myself that they are good looking, I see women and I see if im attracted to them. I look at everyone and I feel jealous. I want my fucking life back. But now my OCD (if this is even OCD) is telling me I was never happy and I was always suppressing my feelings of being gay. Why is this happening? Can OCD do this? I can’t enjoy anything ever.
anxiousashhh
- Date posted
- 14w ago
idk
I feel like I’ll never lead a normal life again with OCD, my thoughts have begun to be convince especially about POCD. I feel like so sad and down that this will be my life forever. I’ll never get to fall in love again without intrusive thoughts. I’ll never be worth falling in love with. I can never be intimate again. I’m just done, my life is over. I can’t even look at my nephew and niece anymore without the smile fading. It feels like I’m so nasty and then my brain convinces me this is how I feel. That there’s some part of me that is a p*do and that’s it. I’m a disgusting human being for that. I just feel hopeless
geodrimilis
- Date posted
- 5w ago
I’m sick and tired of this .
I just can’t do this shit anymore.im tired of these “arousal” sensations that feel real but when I go check my arousal to the same gender I just get anxiety. I’m tired of feeling like I can’t like girls anymore. I’m tired of my arousal getting blocked every now and then because I’m anxious. I’m tired of not knowing who I am anymore. I’m tired of having my mind putting me into an identity I never asked for. I’m tired of this life
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