EmmaleighH
- Date posted
- 6y
EmmaleighHEmmaleighH
- Date posted
- 6y
Wow...thank you so much for your response, I can’t tell you how much I appreciate your vulnerability and kindness. Do you think it is normal to have a thought like that about people you love? That is what is haunting me—I was very stressed earlier this year, and my fiancé and I were watching a scary show. in a moment of anxiety I thought “oh god, what if I thought something violent about my fiancé? How could I ever forgive myself? Does thinking this now mean I deep down am evil and want to do something bad to him?” This completely horrified me I plunged into “how could you think something bad about the person you love, you don’t deserve love at all.” All from the simple “what if I thought x, y, z”. I just feel like I’m a monster because I’d do anything to keep him safe, and when I get a random negative thought I feel like I’m a fraud....sorry to unload all that on you; I started a new exposure and it’s been a difficult evening:(
lehamleham
- Date posted
- 6y
I was babysitting for this new family earlier and I randomly got the thought “wow I really could just stab their children, I’m fully in control right now”. That thought means nothing about me. I love babies. Those kids were great. The 5 year old kept snuggling me and it was literally the best. I don’t have harm ocd, but I have all the same kinds of thoughts that someone with harm ocd does. The key difference between us is who lets those thoughts define them, versus who doesn’t. And don’t get me wrong, I still have ocd so I know EXACTLY what it means to let thoughts define you. So I also know it takes endless reminders to understand that these thoughts have nothing to do with who we are as people.
Mike1234Mike1234
- Date posted
- 6y
lehamleham
- Date posted
- 6y
I totally understand!! Of course it’s totally normal to have these thoughts about someone you love. That’s the only reason why they keep coming back! Cause you’re brain is like “wait wait wait wait- what was THAT?!?”. Your ocd brain wants you to IMMEDIATELY address the scary thing that just happened. If thinking a violent thought completely out of the blue about your fiancé makes you secretly evil, I must be a MONSTER for thinking about killing a baby right? WRONG. A thought is simply something that fills spaces in time that is unequivocally, unreservedly ambiguous. There is a full moon today, and I’m currently watching the ending scene in front of the full moon in the movie “nightmare before Christmas”. My brain automatically associated those two. However “Austin, Texas” and “The Nightmare Before Christmas” have absolutely nothing to do with each other. You were sitting next to your fiancé, while watching something scary happening and your brain associated the two because you were watching the same movie together. Does the “violent, scary idea” and “your fiancé” have anything to do with each other?? Absolutely not! They just happened to occur at the same time- your brain just happened to associate them. You can’t TELL your amygdala that you love your fiancé to smithereens- it just responds to scary things that you think. It doesn’t care who it’s about. The fact that you feel afraid of what this means- does NOT mean it means anything. I don’t know if that made any sense at all but I hope you understand❤️
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Youactlikeyo...
- Date posted
- 25w
Is this apart of ocd?
Hi I just have a few questions! (Im 14 btw) Okay so basically I’m really worried I’ll become a pedo/I already am and I don’t know it yet. I’m also really scared if I SA someone, even tho I don’t want to and I’d never do something like that but I feel like this part of me is saying that I will and it’s really scaring me. I feel so alone and I’m so scared I’m a bad person on the inside and this isn’t ocd and I’m gonna unleash hell on this earth I’m so scared. I’ll get a thought like if I’m walking past someone random it will be like “What if you sa them?” And it scares me so bad I feel horrible for thinking that. Is this apart of it? I feel like I’m always fixated on the topic of sa to check if I would do something like that, I don’t know anymore I just feel like a bad person (btw I have not done anything like that to anyone!)
bradyx20
- Date posted
- 18w
don’t know what’s happening to me
i haven’t been diagnosed with ocd but I have anxiety about harming other people/family members and it’s like urges and im scared I actually want to do it? I don’t think I’ve ever been violent as a kid (im 21 now) and the intrusive thoughts don’t go away so im just stuck all day everyday for the past few weeks just thinking and being scared about it and im having all these weird emotions like being irritated and angry I don’t want to hurt people I don’t think idk why my mind is making me think I do I’ve had intrusive thoughts before that I could brush away sure it took like a day or two but this one is different it doesn’t go away and leaves me with the worst fear imaginable and nothing I look up that should be giving me relief is giving me relief + I feel like im not in control of my body and that im just gonna lose it and act on these thoughts it’s just all on a loop and im not sure how im supposed to live the rest of my life when im in constant fear of my self
Anonymous
- Date posted
- 18w
Religious OCD, ashamed of my thoughts
I am a christian guy who grew up in a christian community and family. For as long as i remember, ive had horrible thoughts about all kinds of things that i dont know where to begin. Due to my extreme thoughts, i feel as if i am unworthy of practicing my religioin, such as praying, reading, meditating, etc. I feel ashamed when i go to church, as if i dont belong there because i feel like i am secretely evil, and that God knows i am evil and i am committing blasphemy by going there, and refusing to "repent", from my thoughts. But then again, my thoughts are just thoughts, sure. So whats the problem? - The problem is that in my faith, i have been taught that we must control our thoughts, so they do not get power over us to make us commit sin. Such as "If you think lustfully about a woman, you have already committed adultery with her in your heart". This verse has killed my self esteem, due to the constant unwanted sexual and disturbing thoughts. It makes me feel like a monster, who secretely just wants to abuse and be horrible to people, even though i know very well i do not want this. Sometimes i think horrible things about the people i love very much, such as my girlfriend. It feels so wrong and evil, even though i know it isnt my true will.
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