My opinions and mind changes so frequently that a single day genuinely feels like 5 days at times. It's so painful because this roller coaster of emotions can go from just accepting these thoughts, to crying in the bathroom and feeling like I'm going to act on them. My mind can literally change a dozen or more times a day and it's obviously not good as it's over obsessive about stuff I can't control. Dear OCD: you are a lying piece of shit that is making me accept things I always thought were morally wrong even if I think they're horrible. The thoughts feel so real and it's scaring me to a point where I feel like I'm going to lose control. At the same time however, I feel like I've been selfish enough before to deserve this.

I haven't actually. The issue is that I'm starting to feel OCD is changing my core moral values just because I don't react the same way I used to. It scares me that what if one day I'm not in the right frame of mind and do something horrid. It's great to be able to connect with others because at least I know I'm far from the only one. These images make me want to cry BECAUSE I don't react the same way any more. I want to get an OCD therapist as I'm thinking about this stuff from the moment I wake up until the moment I fall asleep. I constantly have to prove that 'I don't have a groinal response and I am concerned about my own actions'. OCD obviously doesn't listen to any information except the information that can feed itself. It's been a month but it honestly feels like it's been 6 months

I've never been diagnosed with OCD but I have the majority of symptoms including ruminating all day every day. I've had intrusive thoughts when I was younger but I was able to ignore those as 'I was still getting older' The problem is that it seems to rely on things I've seen before. All the thoughts are based on things I've seen or heard about, such as a post about serial killers. When I saw that post it didn't take long for me to start questioning 'what if I am one?' even though I'm the least violent person. The issue is that these posts seem to describe serial killers as 'lonely' which does describe me somewhat. Ugh. It's just so hurrendous as I feel like I might snap one day and come out the other side realising what I've done.

It seems to be a mix of POCD and harm OCD but at this point my mind likes to flip flop between the two to cause the most pain

@RMEDTwoFour Ya mine is harm, it’s relentless

@vmurso22 It's crazy but I kinda wish I could go back a week to before I saw a YouTube video talking about serial killers because that seemed to have created harm OCD out of nowhere and its scarily real