- Username
- jordandroberts
- Date posted
- 5y ago
well the question is do you really love him deep down beyond these OCD thoughts and doubts?
Yeah. That is the question. Haha the question my OCD tortures me with. Did you ask me that as an exposure?
yes i can confidently say that if i wasn’t dealing with these OCD thoughts that i know i love her and truly care about her
That's awesome. And triggering to hear. I guess ROCD impacts us in different ways.
Oh, I feel that. The disconnect I mean. I start obsessing over what it means and if I don't care as much about her as I say I do or that I'm lying when I say I love her, even tho I know for a fact that I do love her!! It's just the 'what if' intrusive thoughts that trouble me and make me anxious and feel somewhat disconnected. But man, when I'm with her? I *know* that I love her, and that I'm just obsessing over what ifs because I'm terrified of hurting her. But ye, that disconnected feeling really sucks, and I feel ya a lot on that ;-;
For me, 100%. It's always worse when I'm away from them. My doubts are rly strong when I'm away and not so bad when I'm with him. Can I ask you a question? We're you/are you scared of people finding out about your relationship? I'm get this scared feeling, like they're gonna find out I'm a fraud, that I don't rly love him, and like since ROCD tells me we're inevitably gonna break up, that I'll be ashamed in the future. Idk.
@jordandroberta do you feel like you can confidently answer that question?
i was on vacation with my family for the last few days and i didn’t really have too many bad thoughts and i felt like i was doing okay. now that i’m back home my rocd is in full effect and i felt like i wasn’t excited enough to see my boyfriend when i first saw him or that i didn’t miss him while i was gone. my feelings feel so numb and i don’t know what to do but i cry at the thought of not being with him. i’m also scared that maybe im just scared of hurting him and that’s the only reason i’m staying but i also know if we did break up i would be really upset. it’s all so confusing in my head and i don’t even feel much anxiety anymore with the thoughts because they’re so constant. i kinda just needed to vent so anyone who read thank you very much. i don’t know what to do.
General statement/question for anyone who can possibly relate: I've been struggling with ROCD for about 3 months now, the typical "do I actually love him", "what if I don't and I'm just leading him on", "why don't I feel connected any more, this must mean something is wrong with us", "planning the future makes me anxious because we might break up"...the list goes on. I've been especially struggling these past few days. I want a big future with this man and I've never second guessed it until all these intrusive thoughts have come into my life with a bang. I hate them. I feel so emotionally drained and incapable of enjoying the moments I have with him because I'm constantly thinking about the things missing. The fact I struggle to stay present. As we all probably know the age old reassurance after an anxiety inducing thought- I do this fairly often, googling my thoughts and why I'm feeling this way. I am so beyond exhausted. I know I want to marry this man and a future with him isn't scary, it's just significant moments that trigger me and suddenly I'm spiring into the OCD cycle again. I just want to know other people feel the same? I've been feeling so flat and disconnected from everyone, especially him which breaks my heart. I know I love him, so deeply - even writing that my brain said "are you sure you do?". I just want to see if other people experience ROCD similar to me. Thanks
Had for ocd for years about loyalty towards my gf would feel awful if I thought bad off my gf and thinking other girls r goood looking missing my ex ect but now I’m almost better and now don’t avoid looking at girls which I did for a year I find my self wanting to look at girls and get an overwhelming attraction feeling that I don’t get towards my gf? I find every girl attractive now and feel awful like I’m better off alone as I feel Numb a lot towards my gf but thY would be because of all the trauma towards her from ocd. Any one else struggling with this ? We have been together almost 24/7 for 2 years is this normal the lack of attraction ?
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