checking ex friends’ social media

does anyone else fall into the bad, unhealthy habit of checking old friends that maybe you had a bad (or civil, natural) falling out with? i’ve only ever seen this discussed in the context of stalking ex partner’s social medias. for me, i have a lot of trauma from past friendships that were toxic and for some, straight up abusive. and yet, sometimes i still catch myself looking at their tik toks or vscos like trying to see who “won”? ofc social media is such a carefully edited and fake image we put out of ourselves to make us seem more interesting or cool. but i cant help but feel inferior and sometimes i obsess over if i was truly the problem/was the bad guy/made all of the issues i had w them up. anyone else get this?

Username: MoonFairyMoonFairy

Date posted: 2y ago

Yes I definitely can relate

Username: Brian :)Brian :)

Date posted: 2y ago

Wait did you read my mind ? Bcuz this has been me for last couple of months as I am still coping with the loss of my friend lol. We just aren’t friends anymore and I also happened to have feelings for him too but he never knew either . And I consistently check his insta once a while but I wouldn’t think of compulsively or anything with ocd . I just can’t get over him lol.

Username: Brian :)Brian :)

Date posted: 2y ago

I do have racing thoughts at night that lead to my anxious episodes bcuz I try to debate whether things could’ve been resolved or not and what I’d be like if we was still friends today ...so my emotional thoughts eventually leads to my anxiety attacks too...aside from ocd episodes I deal wit on daily basis . :( 💔

Username: mostdope42mostdope42

Date posted: 2y ago

no thats it exactly! after any end to any relationship, no matter it’s nature, there’s gonna be hurt. after all, we truly did care for and love them when we we’re friends! so we’re gonna feel nostalgic or doubt our decision or try and remember the good. but sometimes, we need to remind ourselves why the friendship ended (whatever the reason). it wasn’t meant to be.

Username: mostdope42mostdope42

Date posted: 2y ago

@Anonymous but, it sounds like your friendship with this guy (w some romantic feelings in there) def complicates things! maybe, since it didn’t sound like it was an ugly ending, you’ll reconnect :) i wish you luck in your anxiety and ocd journey!

Username: Brian :)Brian :)

Date posted: 2y ago

@Anonymous Thank you !🥺💕

Username: Brian :)Brian :)

Date posted: 2y ago

Yesss indeed! As much as it pains me to admit ; there’s always reasons for why it ended . There’s something we all did not like about our partner /friend whomever you had that specialty with. Regardless of what type relationship it was . It’s hard to go thru the aftermath, but at the end we can only accept it and move on. 💕

Username: beenbeen

Date posted: 2y ago

Yes but in my case I do it and then remember our friendship and obsess about being a bad friend and all the things I could have done... this specific friendship I had it's really hard to deal with and even after years I still feel extreme guilt (even tho the cause of the split was't a big deal. ) and that self hatred obsession affects my current friendships to the point I sort of induct myself into a extreme feeling of loneliness

Username: Brian :)Brian :)

Date posted: 2y ago

Wow I relate to this so much. I also believe our cause wasn’t a big deal and things could’ve been handled differently . And I obsess over the fact I could’ve done something better and we’d still be ffiends today. But then , what pulls me away from that too is the fact that I lack confidence which means whether we are friends or not - I wouldn’t have came forward to him about my feelings . He’s pretty and I’m not :(

Username: Brian :)Brian :)

Date posted: 2y ago

On top of all this - we were pretty much friends with benefits ...but remained as friends at the end , in spite of the short time we had only known each other . We had bonded and gotten so along thru that time , I just think it was normal ups and downs in a friendship. Every time I kissed him I felt my self more attached to him even when he wasn’t feeling anything for me 😔💔

Username: DealingwithOCD_

Date posted: 3y ago

Anyone here struggle with OCD with things on social media? Like obsessing over things you observe such as certain online behaviors of others? If you feel comfortable sharing 🙏🏼

Username: Jadeon

Date posted: 47w ago

Help please

Does anyone else have mental rituals to check whether your friends still have u on social media and if they don’t then they hate you? I have to check multiple times a day that they still follow me , even people I haven’t spoke to in years . Today one unadded me from a private story even though I haven’t spoke in over 2 years but now it’s triggered me and made me feel like they hate me and I’ve done something wrong. Could anyone offer advice on how to feel in a situation like this. Like should I be panicked and concerned? Thanks

Young adults with OCD

Username: Ahsjdiviwajd...

Date posted: 43w ago

Friendship/Obsessive Searching

I posted about this yesterday but I feel like I’m in an extremely obsessive cycle right now. So basically I started college and moved into dorms. My roommate and I were cool at first then began to experience some issues. Mainly codependency on both ends. So I pulled back to regain control of my emotions and also to make better decisions since I don’t want codependent friendship. I did this with the help and guidance of my therapist. I have also been in therapy for almost two years. So today, my friend seems bothered in class bc she has her nursing cohort in class and Idk if she wanted to go talk to them rather than me or what she wanted to do but she usually says bye to me after class and she just got up and left. Which was odd to me. She then was super silent later in when she got home to the dorms so I asked if wverhtbing was ok she said yeah and said she had a headache. While that may be true she hadn’t been quiet toward me or like that in the past. So anyways I’ve been in an obsessive cycle of trying to “find answers” as to what’s wrong with me and why I struggled in friendship my whole life. Why I’ve chosen some unkind friends before. I have searched the internet up and down trying to figure out what is “wrong with me” and see if I’m unliksble or if there’s traits that need “fixing” so I can be liked better. This also enables me to go into perfectionist mode and remind myself of all the flaws I have and try to fix them. It’s exhausting and tiring. I’ve done some major work on myself in therapy these past two years and have actually made drastic changes, yet I still sometimes feel like why haven’t I mad decent good friends, and why am I feeling like a bad person all the time even when I’ve improved a lot of things. Any advice. Is this a compulsion?? I feel like it is bc my brain freaken hurts and I feel like I am looping. I got home around 4:30 today and have been on the intnernt for four hours searching smh.

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checking ex friends’ social media

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