I feel like every time I get a negative emotion like anxiety or anger or frustration or stress a gross sexual or violent though will automatically generate in my mind and I’m pretty sure I’m doing that on purpose and also flexing my (tmi) vagina muscles every time, this is all day even when I’m working. If I don’t think the bad thought/maybe flex the muscles I feel anxious or something like it’s a compulsion to relieve anxiety, but a bad one. Am I a sicko? I think I flex muscles sometimes as an emotional reaction but is it like sexual AND when I’m thinking those bad thoughts probably intentionally ? But also it could just be ocd or is it some kind of Tourettic ocd or rarer one? I really don’t know what to do or how to help myself

I tend to sexually fantasize and/or romantically as well when I am emotionally okay and at stable mentality so whenever I have these good days , ocd immediately gets in the way . For example - I would fantasize about my guy crush and feel erection ,but then images or thoughts race my Head and make me believe I am into whatever I was thinking during the ocd spike . I know I am not attractive to anyone other than guys .

I understand how you’re feeling . You’re obviously exhausted and feeling so flared up because ocd wants you to believe your thoughts or worst possible thing that does against your values , however - giving this cliche advice , you just have to sit wit the anxiety . I reflect back to all of my episodes I have had for years and makes me feel hopeful I can still go further into this ocd battle . It’s all just a cycle . And you are not your ocd . Sorry if this didn’t help; as someone once posted “ you’ve been through this before and you can get out again “ - this helped me find relief .

It sounds like your having an intrusive sexual thought & your compulsion is to flex your pelvic muscles. Can you try to sit with the uncomfortable sexual thought & NOT flex? Sounds like classic OCD to me. OCD always wants us to think it’s something else or ‘special’ or REALLY gross, but at the end of the day, it’s just your OCD!

Oh also sometimes I try to resist but it seems like I can’t do it every time all day? Like it’s not sustainable And I feel garbage today

And does anyone have advice on how to handle this because regular ocd advice I feel like doesn’t fully address this