- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
Well I’ve always had an issue with anxiety before having ocd related symptoms. I had a lot of bad things happen at once in my life and it feels like once I started noticing my intrusive thoughts and adding meaning to them is when it got quite severe. I’ve honestly have had a majority of the themes. The first I can remember is harm ocd. Anyway i worked in the meat department at a local store and going in being around knifes was like hell having harm ocd. I felt I was going to black out and suddenly become crazy. This eventually led to me having to move out of my parents house(long story) and move in with my gf and her parents. There is when I was the worse. I would try supplements because I was too scared of taking medication. None of it worked for me. I had insomnia for weeks where I would just lay in bed being tortured by thoughts. I stop socializing with friends. I was really bad for a couple months. I lost a lot of weight due to the ocd. I think where things turned for the better is even in the worse of ocd I still had a positive tone to things. Perseverance is the most important thing. I would say give your life more meaning. Right now laying in bed isn’t moving you forward to get better it’s really just makes it worse. You are strong people and staying strong and putting it in the background is moving you in a good direction.
Thank you for sharing. It’s great hearing there is light at the end of the tunnel. How are you today with your ocd and thoughts? Have they stopped or do you just not give them power anymore?
Yes! I hate looking at knives or anything to do with them or anything that could harm someone. I feel absolutely insane for it. Like im pyschotic. I lost 10 pounds in the last week because i have no appetite over it. I always run thru my head “is this the way serial killers think?” “Is this how they started out thinking?” It makes me panic. I panic less than i did the first few nights which makes me overthink more that i like the thoughts when i don’t. It stops me from doing daily activities because im scared my mind could go crazy. This is the first time I’ve ever had something like this but have always had anxiety. It sucks so much. Its the scariest thing ive been through
@Anonymous If I had to give the best description of ocd now is a lot more quiet. Like they happen and I still notice for a second but I just move on from it. I think when I realize it’s just a false warning I move from it. Honestly a more advanced thing that really pushed me is feeding into the thoughts. Like sometimes I egg the thoughts on and ask for more of them. This also works with general anxiety as well. I had a fear of needles for the longest time. Mid panic while getting a shot I told myself “this is the best ever! Bring me more anxiety”. In a way it kind of teaches your mind that this triggers aren’t really worth the energy
@Breezy23 Im scared to give in to the thought. The thought of liking any intrusive thought i’ve had isnt pleasing at all. Thats why anytime i see stuff like that how can i be like “oh i wanna kill my mom” like wtf?? Cuz then what if my minds like yep yes you do but you’re just tryna fight against it. Its so scary ugh. I’ve never been one to harm at all so this is all just frightening
@Breezy23 Did you ever struggle with thinking it’s not ocd and something is really wrong with you? That is my biggest fear
@Anonymous This!! Omg me rn im so scared
@Happyagainplz Yes it’s very common from what I have experienced. I think the issue is the thoughts being against who you are morally. We really struggle that these thoughts because they really don’t represent us as a person. So when you get a thought like that we automatically assign value to that cause that’s what we’ve done our whole life’s. We really need to disconnect from the notion thoughts=actions
@CJzzz Ya me too! I honestly don’t even like killing flies haha. I’ve heard that sometimes that ocd makes us question our most certain values.
Bed ridden the past week now. These thoughts are so scary and convincing. Im hoping they pass sooner than later!
Yes! I was tormented by my thoughts and wouldn’t leave bed. I had to quit my job. It helps finding purpose in your day. Ocd wants you to lay in bed and dwell on your thoughts.
currently laying in my bed dwelling in my thoughts. Would love to hear your tips on fighting compulsions
When my ocd is flaring up I want to never wake up
I’d love to hear some tips as well. I haven’t been diganosed with ocd officially but I am pretty sure I have harm ocd and pure o. I hate the intrusive thoughts I get and would love to hear how you got passed the worst of it and maybe your story?
Congratulations! How did you stick with ERP when the thoughts become so overwhelming?
I think what helps is realizing that these thoughts are temporary. Have some comfort in that suffering from this trauma(ocd) actually made me a much better person in the end. I see the world a lot different then I did before
Just wanted to give some hope to those who are having ocd spikes, spirals and worries. This past year I have regained my life back. I went from beginning to isolate myself, being convinced by my ocd that my hobbies are bad and that I should avoid things I enjoyed, and having constant panic attacks. With the work of IOP, psychiatry and nocd, I have made great strives towards my future. I now don’t avoid things and instead embrace my life and ANY possibility that may come. Don’t let the ocd bully you. Yes, I have intrusive thoughts still but I am able to go about my day instead of obsessing over them. You can find this too. I encourage anyone on the fence to please seek help if you are in a tough time, it can literally save your life.
Hi all, I deal with HOCD and been seeing a therapist for about 3.5 months. It has definitely got better but still affects me very much. Was wondering there is anyone out there who has dealt with HOCD as well and has recovered. I would love to message or even chat just see how your experience was and hear what was beneficial to you.
(Long read) hello everyone. i was out of the country for about 3-4 months and traveling. my ocd was not that bad at all and I was able to handle it even if it came up. on my way back home, it immediately started. i have learned how to handle it better, but i am more sad and just “awaiting” for something bad to happen. for example, i have sexual themed ocd. pocd and family related stuff, and also my ocd targeted my pets for about a year and it manifested into compulsions that disturbed me and made me not want to be around my cats. now that i am around my cats, i feel like “what if i harm them or do something bad?” or “what if you do those weird compulsions that happened before?” , when i look back on the compulsions that happened, it doesn’t feel like me and it was clearly driven by ocd, but it makes me worry i am just a sick person. i know myself and i know im not, but i had such a weird childhood and then ocd from 15 years old and up. so when these weird compulsions had happened , whether it was for the pet ocd theme or pocd or the family ocd, it feels like some sort of proof. anyways, i feel a bit for content with myself but i know how real ocd can feel and i just remember feeling so hopeless and suici da l, i just don’t want to go through that again. i take a more spiritual route of life and healing, and i wonder if anyone has some deep spiritual warmups or practices i could do to maybe open up my mind more? maybe to realize this is all in the mind? but also to not fight it… Not fight it meaning not let it take over my life. i racked up so much debt in therapy and i truly think i can get through this alone i just need a bit of help. but i dunno. any advice would help! thanks everyone ☀️
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