I am worrying it isn't pocd

then you have ocd. the difference between a p*dophile that feels bad and someone with pocd is that the p*dophile is well aware he's attracted to kids he's not denying it or doubting whether or not he is. the fact that its always in the back of your head is because its an OBSESSION and even if it wasnt in the back of your head anymore it's because you are healing.

It isn't constantly in the back of my head it is when ever I am not busy it will be all i can contemplate it also happens a lot when I am busy

literally everyone with sexual intrusive thoughts has the groinal. the groinal is fucked up i know but its totally natural and very common. I had the groinal yesterday and the day before. now i dont cuz im just resting on my bed not paying mind to anything

Another reason I thought I might be in denial is because every so often I would just give up and be like "maybe I am one then" and feel really depressed but then i would just think then realise oh I'm not tho then the cycle returns

I totally relate! It feels weird accepting but it also feels weird denying. WTF

it feels weird denying it because thats the ocd being like "YOU THINK YOU CAN DENY IT?? WHAT ABOUT THAT TIME YOU *insert false memory or false positive situation here" and ur just like uhhHHhhh i mean u kinda got me there. but in reality - you need to be extremely aware of the proof you have that youre not a p*dophile and you dont need to keep repeating it to yourself you just have to stop giving the thoughts a reaction. I know its fucked up accepting uncertainty because i sure as hell dont want to. if someone calls me a p*dophile i'll beat their ass but its the reality on how we're supposed to deal with these things.

I struggle with a different ocd theme, but I agree, all themes should be treated equally. I just wonder if the day will come in which I can laugh this off. Right now my thoughts and fear are beating me

it will dont worry. ocd is managable. you can manage it to such a point where u feel like u fully overcame it.

it'll get better for you dude. it'll get better for all of us.

I used to worry I was going to kill someone when I was younger and kept getting mental images which sucked I dont know if that was OCD tho cuz it was ages ago all I remember is I couldn't get them out of my head and I would spend hours crying

tell me why

I dont know it is just always in the back of my head I constantly worry I am in denial or something and If I dont really have ocd

Yes thank you very much

And the reason I worry is because I had a groinal response when I look at a kid (this only started happening when I started to worry)

Yes

literally i do the same. like ive had times where i would try to come to terms with it and be like "well if its gonna make me feel better maybe i really am a p*dophile" and then theres gonna be like a disingenuous feeling and like an immediate voice in my mind thats like "YOURE NOT YOU MORON SHUT UP" and im just gonna sit there like WELL WHAT THE FUCK AM I THEN UGH. ive just firmly accepted that im not and never was a p*dophile and no matter how much my ocd wants me to be one - im not - im sorry i like dudes my age and thats that on that. its always been like this and it always will be like this.

like if it feels weird accepting in but it also feels weird denying it that doesnt mean youre in the middle - it means that youre not that kind of person and you just have ocd.

Yes

I know I am not a pedofile

I just had a bad dream that started it all

in my experience i cant fantasize about sexually explicit scenes with kids involved because it makes me nauseous and suggestive scenes with kids make me uncomfortable so thats enough to solidify it for me that im not a p*do. like even if i imagine those kids as cartoon characters it still feels really off-putting so i just stopped worrying about it mostly (not fully i still have times where i'll immediately start feeling like shit and intrusive thoughts and triggers dont help) like to me it feels like im not telling my ocd that OH IM NOT WHAT U MAKE ME THINK I AM BASED ON THIS EVIDENCE and instead i just let my ocd talk as i have like a secret inner truth to keep me calm. idk if this will work for you but i hope you know youre not alone and i definitely believe that you arent one. I dont mean to be reassuring because that kinda defeats the purpose but ive seen people with WAYYYY more brutal pocd symptoms that i genuinely cant figure out the reality of it. you'll be fine.

Thanks I tried the thoughts to see if I liked them and they didnt make me feel sick but i felt no arousal and I didnt get and erection or anything like that they just wernt enjoyable they made me upset

Ever since I have been worrying I stopped finding pedo jokes as funny some are still funny but not all

also h56 im gay and i tried thinking about two lesbians having sex - and i felt the same - it didnt make me feel sick but i felt no arousal and i just didnt see the point in thinking about it. Thats how i know what not being attracted to something means. the reason i get nauseous due to p*do thoughts is not because im histerically in denial its just very disgusting to me like its something ive been afraid and disgusted by my whole life.

i dont find any p*do joke funny quite frankly anything p*do related triggers me a lot except me talking about it here which doesnt make me feel anything because im just sharing info

Yes

Cuz I'm still at school the sense of humor is quite dry

Hope so

Ask yourself if you had ocd before these thoughts started popping up. If the answer is yes then you're definitely not. You're definitely not anyway. You would not over think it if you were. It's ocd knowing that the worst possible thing you think you could be is a pedo. Even if thoughts were to turn you on, with ocd, it likes to make you convinced. It does anything to fuck with your head and make you doubt yourself. I read something on here saying a therapist told a lady you can come twice from an intrusive thought. Doesn't mean you'd be happy acting out on the thought. Doesn't mean you sit around in parks seeking out little children. Brains are powerful things and mental illness always wants to make you feel like shit. Have you ever laughed at an inappropriate time? I've laughed being told someone has died. It's because we get panicky and think it's the worst possible thing we can do in that situation. Doesn't mean we'd go around killing people and it doesn't mean we actually find people dying funny.