Relationship OCD

Im in my first committed relationship ever but Ive dated people before. I kept wondering if it was bad that I still had contact information/texts from people I dated and I still followed some people I met on dating apps on Instagram (usually went out with them 0-2 times so not much relationship there), still had screenshots I took on dating apps of people (for reference, to send to friends, etc). No intention of contacting these people. My boyfriend never asked anything about it, I am creating this problem guessing in my head and wondering if am in the wrong and if this will ruin things or something. I couldn’t bear ruining things I love my bf so much and have no intention whatsoever of seeing anyone else and I think this is just ocd worries. But I was so sick of worrying about these things I started deleting pictures and unfollowing on Instagram and then i got anxiety about deleting/unfollowing them like what if he finds out and then thinks it’s weird and thinks I would cheat or I have to tell him about my relationship aspect of my ocd. But then it’s like I’m hiding something from him this is something else to worry about and now I feel guilty because I don’t want him to know I deleted all this stuff and i feel like I’ve created a problem that wasn’t even there but I don’t want him to worry and he knows about my ocd but not relationship ocd specifically and it’s so hard to talk about and I just 😩

felsicboi

Date posted: 3y

Idk if it will help you like it does for me, but acknowledging the irrationality of some of my fears helps mitigate their gravity. Just focus on you and your partner and recognize that the other people are just people and they're probably too busy with their own fears to wonder why you've unfollowed them.

Ihatethis

Date posted: 3y

Seems like you’re overthinking it a little tinsey winsey bit

Ihatethis

Date posted: 3y

But honestly it’s literally ok to have past ex’s as acquaintances. It’s kind of childish to think that you can’t speak to them anymore, unless the relationship was fuckin shitty, then it makes sense to dip. If the dude thinks it’s a problem, then he’s obviously a fucking dumbass because you’re not even pursuing them. (😅 idk why this msg is so aggressive. Probably bec of the donuts I ate)

Anonymous

Date posted: 3y

This happen to me exactly Me and my bf mutually decided to delete everyone from our past then I felt bad not in the sense I wanted them in my social media but what happens if they get so upset that they do something lol I know crazy but my mind will spiral eventually overtime the overthinking stop I just think which ever you decide is fine I have friends who have all of their past and say well if your relationship is secured than you don’t have to worry Then there’s people like me and my partner who are secure but it’s a respect thing to just not have them but which ever way is fine tbh

naomirob

Date posted: 3y

This is absolutely not bad and very normal!! You are allowed to keep those people in your life if you want to.

PlzH3lpMe

Date posted: 3y

Thank you all for your responses! Also sorry if it wasn’t clear I don’t have any worries about the people I’m unfollowing being upset at me I’m just worried about my bf and me feeling guilty that I’m not telling him about any of this or my rocd like I’m hiding it

BC123

Date posted: 14w

Relationship OCD

I’m struggling a ton rn and would love some insight from people. My bf and I broke up bc my OCD got to the point where it was extremely damaging to my exes mental health. We’ve been on a break for the last 2 months while I get therapy and help and he wants to try again in August. We talk everyday and fall asleep on the phone but I’m miserable anxious about what he’s been doing during the break. My mind is flooded with the idea that he might follow new girls on Instagram or he flirting and talking to new girls. It’s KILLING me. I’ve made up an entire situation w no proof. And I’m scared it’s not my OCD talking but a gut feeling. I know we aren’t together but it’s not fair to emotionally invest in each other if he’s not being loyal like I am. I’m just losing my mind and need help honestly.

Unstoppable ...

Date posted: 10w

Relationship OCD

Hi I'm new to all of this so I hope I'm doing this right. 5 years ago my 34 year marriage ended. My ex husband was a mentally and financially abusive, covert narcissist. All that is behind me now and I'm finally remembering who I am again. I'm in a relationship with a really great guy but the problem I'm having is relationship OCD. This has taken me by surprise really as I've had OCD from a very young age but never has it been about my relationship. I constantly check messages and go over and over conversations and convince myself my partner will eventually cheat. Almost every single person in his life I can feel threatened by and I hate this for him and also for me as I don't have any peace of mind. This is ruining the lovely relationship I know I could have so I really need to get a handle on it. Has anybody else experienced this and managed to control it?

hodgyb

Date posted: 8w

New to ROCD (thoughts, advice?)

I’ve dealt with ocd themes for as long as I can remember, POCD, HOCD, false memory, the feelings of having to confess something, washing certain body parts a specific amount of times, all of it I am still pretty young and I just got into my first relationship. I always knew ROCD existed I just never had the chance to have an experience with it 😭 and here I am. I really do think I have an anxious attachment style. But it’s also like I constantly worry if I’m too much or if i should not be in a relationship or if I rlly love my partner like I tell him. I am sensitive and very communicative so when things bother me I like to communicate them but then I worry that I do too much or I worry that it isn’t normal to find this many things wrong so early in a relationship. I also worry if he doesn’t like me or if he Will get tired of me, but those thoughts are easier to get by. The hard thoughts r the ones where I doubt my feelings for him. My mind feels like a MESS! And it’s harder because we only see eachother once a week. This may be heaven compared to other ppl who struggle with real long distance but for me the time in between gives me a lot of time to nitpick things that aren’t even real problems and create a sense of a toxic relationship that isn’t even real! The only times where I feel like maybe it’s all in my head are when. I see him and the days after, but when it gets long it gets rlly hard. I rlly do love him and he gives me reassurance when needed but I can’t help but focus on the negatives when little things bother me, especially when we are apart from eachother and jsut texting. Texting is hard because then there is the obsession over waiting to see how long he will take, not knowing the tone of texts, and being able to over analyze every conversation we’ve had. I also do mental checks to help me reassure myself that I love him 😭 like when’s the last time he made me laugh, what are some nice things he’s done that I rlly liked, and jsut trying to actively acknowledge everything he’s done so I can stop panicking abt the fear that I don’t love him. It’s literally only been 2 months of us dating so the fact my ocd is so early onset annoys me so bad because I rlly do feel like I am still in the crucial stages of a relationship where we are learning how to love eachother, so there should be some ups and downs and minor arguments while we get over this phase… but I can’t help but wonder what if these little things just mean I hate him? It’s extreme but I worry and the reels and tik toks I see about people realizing they don’t love their partner make it all bad!

Relationship OCD

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Relationship OCD

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