Hey guys. I was reading some of the posts and I found one which describes how I feel: it feels weird to accept the thoughts, but it also feels weird to deny or fight them. I feel like I'm stuck. I had been doing better by accepting that no matter how many times I performed my compulsions, they couldn't prevent my feared outcome from happening. Still ocd hit me real hard and I relapsed, although it wasn't as awful as past times. It just sucks to be stuck in this cycle

Yes I just cant do that I tried to accept it but I knew it wasnt me

AMAZING WEEKS????? I ONLY HAD AN AMAZING DAY THAT SHOULD BE SOMETHING YOU SHOULD REALLY BE GLAD ABOUT ARE YOU KIDDING???? those weeks will easily turn into months then years and so on and so forth

Yep I had 2 days that were not as bad

I only spent days crying when I didnt know it was OCD

Knowing it is OCD really makes things better but it dosent make you feel amazing I still constantly worry I just have to trust my self and say it is ocd

@p.s. It is really puzzling. Like no matter what you do you'll never figure it out 100% It's life sucking. But been diagnosed is a start, now we just have to work towards recovery and hope for the best

i had a huge weight lifted off of my shoulders once i accepted that if i was really what my ocd tells me i am then its not really my fault if i have a paraphilic disorder and all i can do is live with it and manage and my ocd just went "wait youre not scared? ok bye." and for that short period of time i got my appetite back, i could finally be attracted to the guys im normally attracted without being fully sex repulsed. and i felt almost like im going back to normal. then today i woke up and i felt like shit again because my ocd just had to remind me of all sorts of shit. right now im not stressed out but im not fine and dandy. im literally just laying in bed typing away not thinking about anything but the words im typing. ocd fucking SUCKS

literally like its not just denial like it just NEVER FEELS GENUINE. thats called ego-dystonic. it just doesnt align with you and you just know it.

Haha thanks a lot @vimli. When I said amazing I meant that I could cope. I couldn't get many things done but didn't spend the entire days crying

Yes. Thank you both @h56 and @vimli for this conversation. We just have to keep going

I can relate to that, I cried non stop until I got diagnosed a few days ago. I couldn't understand what was wrong with me.

we can definitely overcome this. baby steps yall.

Yes

@vimli the same happened to me. I think I had two or three amazing weeks and last night it hit me out of the blue. Right now I'm also lying in bed feeling defeated and sad

After having a period of bad OCD I just feel exaustee

literally when i didnt know it was ocd my whole body was tense to the MAXIMUM and i was mortified like i was legit like "what the fuck just happened"

I feel you. I’ve been doing so much better, then it hit me so bad! Like, so bad and I’m embarrassed and it’s been an awful 3 days and I can’t seem to get ahold of what erp even is and how to do it on my own and my therapist doesn’t do erp therapy!