- Username
- Lids
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Relapses are a part of the recovery process. Recovery is not a direct line there's many ups and downs. Be gentle with yourself. You can restart every time there is a setback. Sometimes good information can be gained from those moments. Are you in treatment or doing self directed ERP?
I actually had a relapse this weekend too :/ it freaking sucks but please know I’m here and so many others are too. Whenever your feeling this way don’t hesitate to post because you deserve all the love and comments you give other people. You are not a burden. I feel the same way today but I’m telling you, you make this world a lot better by existing and even though I don’t know you, I know 10000% that’s true. Don’t ever doubt that
It's not just you! Many people do not understand the agonizing struggle that goes on inside of our brains all because we are trying to protect others and ourselves. People can't see it, they don't understand why we can't just get over it with a simple fix. I've had someone tell me it sounds like I want bad things to happen all because my OCD kept finding the .0001% possibility that something bad could happen, which obviously was completely contrary to what I was trying to accomplish. You are not alone or hopeless. You have OCD and there are people out there that understand. Are you seeing a counselor? Finding a counselor that understands the way the OCD mind works is a huge relief and offers a lot of encouragement and safe space to fight fears.
You are worth so much more than that. It’s hard, but I know you can do it!!
Hey I also relapsed today and since yesterday. It's awful because it's a topic I thought I had already solved and made peace with. But I guess with OCD there is no such thing
@Lids wow your situation is so similar to mine. My mom told me she feels like I’m way too sensitive and use the OCD as a way not to hear what I don’t want to. You’re not a hopeful case though, I promise. Even though it’s tough right now, she has to understand this isn’t something you can control and as much as we can fake being happy, you deserve to feel comfortable to feel how your feeling and not have to put on a face for family. It’ll get better for sure and today may just be a harder day than the rest but it doesn’t mean you are any less strong or incapable of controlling your OCD because you are in control always and I’m so proud of you
You are very welcome! You have have have to find a counselor that specializes in OCD. Many therapists even say they can treat it and they absolutely do not have the skill set to treat it. OCD will not get better just by talking about our feelings or talking about our childhoods. It needs exposure therapy and ACT/mindfulness to be treated effectively.
You’re so kind. I hate to even post things like this but I’ve gotten lower than low this week.
All of your comments are so so encouraging! Thankyou so much! But I feel like I’m just destroying everything. My mom told me she would not feel sorry for me today. It felt so awful. I wasn’t even asking her to. I just didn’t know if I could go to my sisters and fake being happy. idk. I just don’t know what to do. So I guess I feel like it’s not even most OCD. I feel like I’m just a hopeless case.
This is so kind of you! Thankyou for everything you said. I do see a counselor but she’s never heard of pure o and does not do ERP therapy. I feel like, she makes me feel better but I’m not getting any better.
@doubts123
Yes! Omg! I feel that!
Guys I’ve been working my butt off at ERP and getting my reassurance down to 0. At same time, I feel so awful and am so worked up over the fact that I’m not feeling better yet. I’m so worked up. I feel like this will never get better. I’m so sad. Idk what to do. I love my therapist and believe in my erp plan, but I don’t feel results yet after so much hard work. I’m drained and want my life back.
Today I just feel like I'm at my worst trying to beat the compulsions. It just really hurts, after I have made progress I still get this episodes where I start believing all the intrusive thoughts. It feels like I am carrying a mountain of nothingness, just problem solving without a problem, rumination all the time. I'm trying my best to stop the compulsion, but today I relapsed. I'll come back to do ERP when I'm feeling better. On top of all that I'm really fighting my porn addiction, it's a lot of weight, but I'm doing good so far.
I have had a major set back a couple of weeks ago and I have been feeling the most depressed I have ever been. It feels like I am drowning. I am not even living. I feel so scared and guilty all the time. There is this deep horror and sadness every where I go. I feel so alone. I hate this. I just want to be happy. I feel so lost. I am and trying so hard to keep on going. I am trying to keep up. And do erp. But I have had to start all over again. I am just doing the basics because that is all I can handle at the moment. I feel so fragile, one thought or memory or action distroys me in seconds. I am second guessing everything. This is like torture. I am in so much pain. I feel so lost. God why me? I have POCD, so it is so much worse. I don’t feel like myself, I feel like a monster. I feel like I am disgusting. This is the worst possible person I can be and I am convinced I don’t have ocd. So much evidence is digging into my brain. I just really need some advice. I don’t want reassurance please, that will just make me worse. I have been doing erp. I have not been reassuring myself or checking which is probably why I feel so sick right now. I am not giving in but it is so hard, it is destroying me and I can’t even do the things I love. Idk, I guess I just need people to tell me I will be okay. I need maybe some erp advice. I just feel so alone and I can’t talk to the ones I love about it. I just want to be happy again. I just feel guilty and disturbed by myself constantly,
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