*Trigger Warning* (Homosexual/Sexual-Orientation) Everyone who is comfortable, please post your intrusive thoughts, feelings, urges, or memories here that have to do with H/SO- OCD. What is true is that all of these things have nothing to do with who you are, and are just by-products and misconstructions of our creative brains. I want people to feel less alone and to know that they are not deviant. Thanks guys?❤️

I'll start this one off. I use to have this ocd. I seem to go from one ocd to the other. But this I use to struggle with. I use to think I was a lesbian. And I'd obsess about it every day. My family hates gay people, so back then it was the worst thing I could think of that I could be. (I completely accept gay people, just my family doesn't, some of them). I use to think my family would find out. I'd never like any posts related to being gay, I felt uncomfortable around gay people. I was so convinced I was a lesbian. I felt like I was faking my attraction towards men. Well, now, I am over this ocd. I like more posts about gay people, even share them. I experimented with a friend of mine, and I now realise I am not even an ounce lesbian. I can appreciate a womans beauty, and now I'm comfortable being straight, I would even kiss a girl and not feel confused. Maybe I'll even do some more experimenting, letting them know that's all I'm wanting. Because I know I'm straight and I'm comfortable being straight.

I was afraid of sex as a young person for my own reasons, but my brain is obsessed with the fact that it thinks im into women. My body doesnt respond to them sexually, but my brain keeps basically holding me at gunpoint telling me im actually repressing my "real urges and desires". It forces me to think about kissing them, doing sexual things with them and it only kills my libido, makes me sad, and anxious. I never sought out porn of women ever in the past because it just never aroused me or interested me. (Im a gay man before anyone gets nervous). My intrusive thoughts are always about how, because of my rocky dating past and fear of sex as a young person (that i had for good reason) that im just "repressing my true nature". I apparently have a crush on every woman i know, and its all just viciously strong anxiety. No matter what i do my brain just keeps telling me ill "unlock the secret to my attraction" nd that "im the one thats keeping it from fully forming". Theres so much, but it just feels like my brain literally will not allow me to think about men anymore and it drives me insane.

Thank you so much for sharing that!!! I’m so happy that you were able to work through that. Just to be safe though for anyone else- that might not be the best way to handle it (just because it could become even more confusing/ cause more obsessions). But I am SO glad you were able to overcome these obsessions!!❤️❤️

I handled it before I experimented. I knew I liked guys again when my anxiety lowered with my second boyfriend. So I was 100% sure that I wasn't totally lesbian at that point. I stopped obsessing about it 8 months ago roughly. But only recently I realised I'm straight. I'm almost 20 and I had those thoughts since I was 8 up until 8 months ago... Thanks for all these posts, I feel like these will help a lot of people ❤️❤️❤️

Oh yeah, I'll add as well that it all started when I hated my body. I prayed and said I absolutely hated my vagina and I don't know how a boy could ever like me. That was as young as 8. I prayed that I would start to understand why men like women and I'd start to love my own female body. So that's when I started to become attracted to the same sex. It got more real from 12 upwards and day in day out all that kept popping into my head was I am a lesbian and I'm ganna end up having no kids and my family will desert me. Now if I thought I was a lesbian, I wouldn't feel as bad as I did back then about it. People either accept you or they don't. I also may add that to be honest, thinking I was just a lesbian for all those years has made me appreciate my body much more.

@Gfaux Thank you so much for sharing that. I know tons of people, including myself, relate to all of that. It’s agonizing, but not impossible to heal from. I’m doing it with you❤️

@MissLovely I’m sorry- I misunderstood! That is such a long time to be battling with this. I can relate to so many things you’ve said- thank you for being my inspiration!!

My gender and sexuality can feel completely incompatible, like who I need to be as a person and the kind of people I want to be around don’t have any overlap, so that sucks. Thinking about letting anyone regardless of gender see my body as me or try to get through my barriers or even be attracted to my body makes me so scared and uncomfortable. Sexual intrusive thoughts mess it up further :/

I used to obsess about being a virgin and that I would never be appealing to anyone bc of it. That then transformed into me forcing myself to look at other women to figure out if I was gay or not.

They thought “you’re a lesbian” doesn’t leave my head all day long. I always feel so anxious. I started noticing pretty girls because I was so insecure about myself, so I compared myself to them and that’s what my ocd is using against me. Now I have to look at every single woman or man to see if I am attracted, and If i am not my ocd tells me it’s because i am gay. Now i can’t even imagine myself being with a guy. I see couples on the street and my head is always like “ok, so, who are you attracted to in that relationship”. And when I finally don’t find a woman attractive, my head starts imagining all these scenarios that I find disgusting. Well, I don’t even know if I find them disgusting because I am on that stage of my ocd when it’s hard to describe what I feel or know what I feel. That’s why it’s so hard for me to write this down. Also, my sister has a boyfriend and she is always very touchy with him, so my head is always like “you’ll never get that” “you don’t like that so that’s why you’ll never get a boyfriend” and then it’s starts imagining what would my life be if I had a girlfriend and i i was doing everything that my sister is doing with her boyfriend. And when I am finally attracted to a guy I have to think about what our life would be if we got married, and I I didn’t like that, well I am gay. That’s what my head keeps telling me. I was always disgusted by sex, and now my ocd is using that against me saying that I will enjoy it more with a woman. This is so hard. It’s hard to know because now I don’t even know how I feel, I just feel stuff and it’s yes to recall them or write them down, so that’s why it’s so hard for me to do this right now.