- Date posted
- 3y
So tired
I’m so tired of my own head picking me to pieces.. it’s relentless the constant thoughts of disgust and hatred I have for myself. I just want to sleep
I’m so tired of my own head picking me to pieces.. it’s relentless the constant thoughts of disgust and hatred I have for myself. I just want to sleep
It's like you read my mind, the constant obsessing and giving into the complusions, every day is a constant cycle of pain. Sleep is out of the question when you can't even lie down in peace. I know I'm not of much help, but do you have any coping mechanisms that could help you comfort yourself when you're trying to sleep? Maybe like some sort of distraction? Maybe a film, show or a video on YouTube that could help you keep your focus on something else for a moment?
My brother, God loves you just as you are. Now that we know that we can answer other things. I used to not sleep either because of ocd, therapy and God's grace saved me. Please seek help. While you find help here's a good advice, when you find yourself too deep in intrusive thoughts and figuring out what they mean, take a step back and first accept you're anxious, then step back and accept you have thoughts you don't want and can't control nor stop on your own, take another step back and accept that ocd is not your fault nor can it be turned off by thinking out of it or by anything that you a person with ocd knows. Take another step back and accept that the thoughts feel real because you're the one experiencing them and your brain doesn't know the difference and it wants to solve any questions because that's what it does. After you've taken all those steps back notice how you feel and once you feel better, thank God and start searching for a therapist, try it on NOCD. If the anxiety is still too much and you feel out if control, surrender control to Jesus He loves you and knows what's better for us. I know how you feel and trust me I've been there before ND I once thought I'd be stuck but thank God I'm better now. You will also recover, be patient, He loves you just as you are.
It’s so tiring. I used to watch the same thing over and over just to numb my mind but it’s stopped working, I’ve started focusing on my breathing or my partners breathing but it doesn’t work all the time either, it’s seems to be when I’m highly emotional I find it harder to deal with my thoughts. Just knowing I’m not alone is helpful :)
I do the same thing omf.. I literally rewatch the same videos every darn night just to have something play in the background so I don't drown in those tiresome thoughts, and yeah it doesn't always work unfortunately.. but seeing that you are trying is so great. Just remember that these thoughts don't define who you are as a person. I wish you the best and I hope you will get the help and support you deserve. This fight can feel so lonesome, talking to you has made my struggles feel more valid, I hope you kind and patient to yourself, much love
these days im feeling so bad, I can’t take it anymore, I have thoughts and images I don’t like that just won’t leave me, I feel so heavy, I want to bump my head into a wall until I pass out so I can have a break, I want my brain ti stop working and leave me alone, I can’t exist like this, I’m constantly thinking about this stuff and feeling disturbed, it just won’t leave, what do I do? sorry if this is written so badly but I really need to vent
I'm really frustrated right now because once again I feel like I can't keep up with my own brain and I just can't keep doing this. I'm so tired of doing this. My head is always going and going and going and I just want to unplug it. It makes me so stressed. It's like I have someone else in my head who won't shut up and is always pointing everything I do out. Like I'm walking on eggshells around myself so I don't trigger these thoughts. But if I walk on egg shells then it just goes on about something else and I feel like I'm going crazy.. I feel so bad because it makes me so snappy. I want to bash my head in because I'm so over it. The only thing I know that helps is anxiety meds, because I had one one time and it actually really helped me (it didn't even do it's job! Because of how bad my anxiety is!! I'm just so desperate at this point for relief) But the last time I brought up going on meds for anxiety with my mom she said I'll get addicted, like my dad, or my grandma, or whoever else in my family because everyone in my family is addicted to SOMETHING. I don't see the issue in trying though. I feel like I'm someone who could really benefit from anxiety meds. I don't talk about my feelings often BECAUSE of anxiety, so it seems like I'm just trying to go on meds for no reason. But it's like..my body hurts. All the time. And my brain never stops. My brain is so messed up. I feel like I could do so much more if I wasn't like this. It's never going away, I've tried and I've tried and I'm still a mess. I just want it to stop. I'm not asking for much. I just want the fear to stop and the intrusive thoughts to stop and the racing thoughts and the feelings of doom and the nervousness and and I actually want to feel okay in my own skin for fucking once. I've tried everything nothing works im losing patience and I'm losing hope. I feel like there's something wrong with me. I feel like my brain is broken and that makes me sad to be honest. I feel like everyone around me can work. Why can't my stupid brain work???? I try so hard. I try so hard all the time. And it still doesn't do what it needs to do. I hate myself so much.
I’m struggling so much, I don’t know what’s changed. I was doing so well for a solid two months and now it’s been over a month of just my lowest point. My bf has gotten upset at how much I do compulsions and it’s taxing him too. I can’t imagine how hard it is to be my partner right now. I feel exhausted I’m tired of my OCD finding new things to obsess or worry over. I’m so TIRED of getting stuck on technicalities. I’m so exhausted with the constant intrusive thoughts and intrusive thinking. I’m so sick of how compulsive I get when I’m so riddled with anxiety. I don’t want to keep pushing. It feels pointless if my life is going to be a constant loop of ups and extreme lows. I feel like such a disgusting, embarrassing person. I don’t want love because I don’t feel like I deserve it. I don’t want patience or understanding because it makes me feel so guilty. Like no one is understanding how bad of person I could truly be. I’m so lost and tired of this
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