- Date posted
- 3y
So tired
I’m so tired of my own head picking me to pieces.. it’s relentless the constant thoughts of disgust and hatred I have for myself. I just want to sleep
I’m so tired of my own head picking me to pieces.. it’s relentless the constant thoughts of disgust and hatred I have for myself. I just want to sleep
It's like you read my mind, the constant obsessing and giving into the complusions, every day is a constant cycle of pain. Sleep is out of the question when you can't even lie down in peace. I know I'm not of much help, but do you have any coping mechanisms that could help you comfort yourself when you're trying to sleep? Maybe like some sort of distraction? Maybe a film, show or a video on YouTube that could help you keep your focus on something else for a moment?
My brother, God loves you just as you are. Now that we know that we can answer other things. I used to not sleep either because of ocd, therapy and God's grace saved me. Please seek help. While you find help here's a good advice, when you find yourself too deep in intrusive thoughts and figuring out what they mean, take a step back and first accept you're anxious, then step back and accept you have thoughts you don't want and can't control nor stop on your own, take another step back and accept that ocd is not your fault nor can it be turned off by thinking out of it or by anything that you a person with ocd knows. Take another step back and accept that the thoughts feel real because you're the one experiencing them and your brain doesn't know the difference and it wants to solve any questions because that's what it does. After you've taken all those steps back notice how you feel and once you feel better, thank God and start searching for a therapist, try it on NOCD. If the anxiety is still too much and you feel out if control, surrender control to Jesus He loves you and knows what's better for us. I know how you feel and trust me I've been there before ND I once thought I'd be stuck but thank God I'm better now. You will also recover, be patient, He loves you just as you are.
It’s so tiring. I used to watch the same thing over and over just to numb my mind but it’s stopped working, I’ve started focusing on my breathing or my partners breathing but it doesn’t work all the time either, it’s seems to be when I’m highly emotional I find it harder to deal with my thoughts. Just knowing I’m not alone is helpful :)
I do the same thing omf.. I literally rewatch the same videos every darn night just to have something play in the background so I don't drown in those tiresome thoughts, and yeah it doesn't always work unfortunately.. but seeing that you are trying is so great. Just remember that these thoughts don't define who you are as a person. I wish you the best and I hope you will get the help and support you deserve. This fight can feel so lonesome, talking to you has made my struggles feel more valid, I hope you kind and patient to yourself, much love
I’m struggling so much, I don’t know what’s changed. I was doing so well for a solid two months and now it’s been over a month of just my lowest point. My bf has gotten upset at how much I do compulsions and it’s taxing him too. I can’t imagine how hard it is to be my partner right now. I feel exhausted I’m tired of my OCD finding new things to obsess or worry over. I’m so TIRED of getting stuck on technicalities. I’m so exhausted with the constant intrusive thoughts and intrusive thinking. I’m so sick of how compulsive I get when I’m so riddled with anxiety. I don’t want to keep pushing. It feels pointless if my life is going to be a constant loop of ups and extreme lows. I feel like such a disgusting, embarrassing person. I don’t want love because I don’t feel like I deserve it. I don’t want patience or understanding because it makes me feel so guilty. Like no one is understanding how bad of person I could truly be. I’m so lost and tired of this
So over all of this. Why do periods have to make everything so much worse. I keep thinking that I can get over an intrusive thought and then the next one comes in. My brain tries to make be obsess over something that i've already obsessed about and moved on from. Wish this could be over.
I know I keep talking about This but I’m too tired :( I’m really struggling and I don’t know what to do anymore. I feel like I might be the only person who experiences this in the way I do. It’s gotten so bad that during intimacy or self-pleasure, I feel like I’m acting on a thought — like my body is moving because of it. It’s terrifying and deeply hurtful. The moment it happens, I immediately panic, try to rewind everything in my head, and ruminate to figure out what I was thinking at that exact second… but I can never remember. That makes it even worse. feel so lost and hopeless, like I’ll never be able to heal or move on from this. People tell me “it’s just OCD,” but it doesn’t feel like OCD to me. It feels like I’m the exception — like no one else truly experiences it like this, especially the part where it feels like I physically responded to a thought. I know people say “others go through this too,” but my mind keeps saying, “not like this, not this specific thing.”Sometimes I just wish I could go back and relive those moments so I could be sure what happened, but I know that’s not possible. I feel so stuck in guilt and doubt that I don’t even know who I am anymore. I’m scared I’m a bad person and that I’ll always feel this way. I’ll never be free or be the same again everyday I live with deep depression
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