My bf and I (ex bf idk how to explain) we been broken up/on a break for a month. The first 2 weeks was hard as fuck and I was worried and losing it. Then eventually I accepted it and just said fuck this and we didn’t speak for the entire 3rd week. Like at all. The first 2 weeks we still were in contact a bit. So going on week 4 today. Marks a whole month. Last week though we did meet up and talk and decided we both didn’t wanna get back together right now and just aren’t there yet, we weren’t officially done but still not like together. After I just told him like tbh it’s all good we can just take our time, no rush, we both obviously don’t wanna go back to how the relationship was well just see if we wanna go through it together or give it up. After that, he started to text me every day up til today which marks a month. He FaceTimes again (we did that all the time) just overall talking to me more and more. So today I just said like are u trying to just like talk and see how it goes and he’s like yes that’s how I do things. And I was like wow I just guessed that. he said he still didn’t know if he wanted to get back together. He just didn’t know. I had been in that same boat all week too and evidently I decided I wanted to be with him. But I can’t rlly be mad that he didn’t decide at the same time as me. And I think him wanting to talk to me more and see me and all of that is a sign he is trying to go back to us which he sort of pointed out. Like we’re working through it kind of thing. And in my head I’m just thinking ok I’m going to play this out for the next week and a half. See how it goes. He is the one who reaches out to me constantly, it’s always been like that. But like if I don’t see rlly much effort or change in that time, I HAVE to walk away. I even said like to him like I know I’m worth it and I’m enough and blah blah. Just sort of putting my foot down saying it’s cool if we work to get there but I wanna make sure we’re on the same page. I am kinda annoyed with it for sure. But I also know we both process things differently. He doesn’t wanna have a sit down and a huge talk and decide ok we date now or we done. He wants to get back to it by talking again and hanging out and just taking our time gettin back to each other which in all honesty I think is a good idea. It can be hard but like ur rebuilding something in a way by doing that and can see if ur even able to… idk I think I’m just sad cuz I fucking miss him so much that I do wish he just wanted to see me so bad he came back but he has a huge ego sometimes he doesn’t realize and I think he puts up this huge wall where he thinks he has to do these things. And I just wanna open my arms and be like wooo come back.

Hey everyone. I hope you all are doing okay. I’m currently struggling in the worse way I have through the course of my relationship. We are doing long distance right now, and I am unfortunately in the worse place I have been in. The uncertainty is absolutely unbearable. He is doing a cool new, consuming job 7 hours a way. He loves it, but I fear him loving the job so much that he stops caring about me. I have definitely noticed a shift in the amount of time he texts me and the energy he can give to the relationship. The job actually started off with 2 weeks of no phone. He has it again now though. We saw each other a couple of days ago in person for the last time we would in about two months. I was okayish when we were in person though I knew I would spiral later. And spiral I did. He left and I broke down. I am worried I will lose him. I start a really intensive EMT program in a week. It will be all-consuming for me. I can’t sleep very much and I don’t feel like eating. I know it’s pathetic. I am constantly consumed by these fears. I think I know what I need to do to combat them. Accept uncertainty but it feels like the possibly of it ending feels more real than ever. And I literally can NOT stop thinking about it. My brain feels in danger!!! I just worry that bad stuff is actually happening. I think we are going through a rough patch, but I also just feel more alone than ever. Drowning in my mind. What do I believe? I have a past of ocd, so it wouldn’t be surprised if it’s getting intertwined. Most people would say: it’s okay to ask him for reassurance about the relationship!!! But I feel like that’s the trap for me. I don’t know how to move forward. I know things are tough for us right now. But I’ve been floating back and forth on a spectrum of well maybe I just have trust to maybe this literally won’t work out!!! Texting and communicating over text is really hard for me. I am constantly analyzing it: how much energy is he giving? How much energy am I giving? Well I don’t want to do all the emotional labor, and be the main texter. But I also don’t care about texting that much and get exhausted with this back and forth.

I really need help. My brain is torturing me right now. Basically me and my boyfriend went through a really rough patch and he wasn’t communicating what was wrong and I started to just lose feelings and not feel how I used to which was the most upsetting thing because I swear we are soulmates. Anyway so we broke up for like a day before he realized he’s really sad without me and he is finally willing to work on communication and our issues and this is the most I’ve really ever felt he notices it this time. I am supposed to go see him and he is so excited and I’m freaking out. I want to see him but I keep thinking how it’s triggering for me cause I don’t want to go back to that rough patch cause it lasted a long time. I want to try again but I also feel like it’s easier to just run away from everything. It feels like I got to know his personality but that isn’t fair to say because now he’s aware and wants to change. I’m scared because I know feelings can come back and I hope mine can cause right now I just keep replaying the past and the bad stuff. He seems really willing to work on it this time which should make me so happy but I’m also so scared things will go back to how they were and I’m worried if I’m this anxious my body is telling me he isn’t right for me and that it’s not ocd which would really upset me because I’ve had such hope. I know my feelings started to go away but that’s cause of how we were to each other and now we are aware of the problem. Does it mean I shouldn’t be with him if the thought of trying again makes me so anxious or is that just the fear? I wish this wanting to work through things happened before I felt like this and now I’m scared I won’t get it back. I’m also scared that there is someone out there better for me and by being with him I’m blocking that. But the thought of being without him makes me so sad. I want to try to see him differently and maybe see it’s different but I’m scared it’s not. I’m afraid of a million things. What if it’s too late and I can’t get my feelings back? What if I’m forever anxious around him? What if being with him prevents me from meeting other people? I haven’t seen him in a while cause he was away and people say I won’t know how I feel till I see him. It feels like once I get there I already know though that I’ll have the same thoughts and won’t be able to get back to how I felt because it became uncomfortable but I’ve heard I’m anticipating it. I’m scared it’s gut and not ocd

I’m overanlazing alot of things. My first post on my profile covers everything but I’m so worried and like nervous reck of what my ex boyfriend could be doing. We are on no contact for almost 3 weeks now which is the longest we’ve ever gone. I’m getting so much into my head like if he already moved on, or if he’s talking with some girl already, or letting a girl hit on him. Or even going back to bad habits. It’s been driving me nuts for the past few days. I’m still mad at him for hurting me mentally but miss him too. I keep thinking there’s something wrong with me, wrong with the way I’m thinking, like I’m not normal for thinking these things. That he’d find me weird I wonder those things and that I check on his profile on instagram, just staring at it, blocking and un blocking him. I worry that maybe he doesn’t think of me anymore. And he just. Doesn’t care. I feel like an older version of him would say I’m being too much, that I’m overthinking to so many extents that even tho we are broken up, he’s single and so am I and I shouldn’t care this much about it. But I do. And I’m sure it’s because I’m still in love with him. Even if I’m mad and upset still.