If you don’t already know about me, I’ve been recovered from OCD (and my other mental illnesses) after doing hardcore ERP and trauma therapy for 3 years. I’m still on NOCD to help. Ask my anything and I’ll answer to the best of my knowledge 😁
What were your ocd themes?
Literally all of them 🤪
@Nica I see! Also! Why did you choose Nica as your username??
@mcbridef Just random.
I love that you're doing this. Thank you for taking the time. How do you work to overcome health anxiety? I'm very worried about passing out, it's almost always in the back of my mind.
I have it from time to time but I’ve realized I can only do what I can to stay healthy and active. If I develop, let’s say, a brain tumor at 55, I will fight like hell to overcome it but I can’t obsess over if I have one or not right now because obsessing on what ifs do not help.
If you pass out or don’t pass out, it is what it is. Something you could do is fake pass out on a couch or your bed to start with. Do it over and over and see how your OCD takes it. It’ll probdbly surprise Pikachu face you 😅
I have Just Right/Perfectionism as my main type - The main thing that OCD tells me is that if something isn't "perfect" I won't be able to handle it. I've had panic attacks because of this, and I feel like it definitely strengthened this need and my OCD is constantly scanning for threats. I find that challenging some of the compulsions does help, but ultimately I've always given into the biggest compulsions even if I didn't do them for months. I also feel like its part Real Event since it revolves around actions. I have a strong value of just wanting to move on with my life and do the things I actually want to do (essentially not being driven by OCD) , but its hard and OCD definitely has taken that and made me a hostage. What would be some exposures and other ways I can challenge the OCD?
Giving into compulsions, seeking reassurance, and ruminating are hard to overcome but it has to be done to fully recover. You’ll fall back sometimes and that’s normal— just yesterday I did that. But when I realized what I was doing, I put my phone down in another room and walked away. Walking away and doing something productive is a great step. Another thing that’s simple (but can be difficult) is whatever your OCD’s telling you to do, do the complete opposite. It’s kinda like trolling your OCD. Example: It’s tell you to check the stove; do not check the stove. It’s telling you to seek reassurance from a close family member; do not seek reassurance from them (or anyone). It’s telling you not to go outside because it’s “dangerous” out there; go outside.
Around 2 months ago I started to experience harm ocd after a bad trip from a thc edible. I would get gruesome images and thoughts about me doing harmful things to my family, my pets, my friends etc. Although extremely stressing at the time, my theme has switched to something I would have never imaged to happen to me. I was doing something that typically makes me happy when a thought popped into my mind “you are not happy anymore, you want to die”. It’s been 2 weeks since I have had that thought and I can’t get the thoughts and feeling of wanting to die out of my head. It feels so real, as if I don’t actually want to be here anymore. I honestly wouldn’t even consider this suicidal ocd because I don’t have a fear of harming myself, almost just the fear of not wanting to live and enjoy life anymore. It’s really causing me to feel so unusual and I am unable to feel happy in any situation anymore. Everything seems so grey to me, and the thought of not wanting to be here anymore is the only thing that’s ever on my mind. I’ve never even been depressed before and my life has always be great. I can’t fathom why I feel this way and I don’t know how to come out of this. My mind tells me I don’t even want to come out of this. If you have any suggestions or possible Erps I can do, I’d greatly appreciate it.
No matter how disturbing and horrible the thoughts, feelings, and images are, you can’t give into your OCD. Anything your OCD says or “wants” you to do, so the opposite. If it says don’t hug your mother because you want to hurt her, hug your mother. The more you push people away because you’re fearful of hurting them, the more you are training your mind/OCD that what it’s doing is correct and to keep doing it. It’s the same for suicide OCD. Just because you have thought sdienst mean you want them not do you have to take them seriously. You have to rewire your mind to not take these thoughts, feelings, and images seriously. At this point, you gave into your OCD so much, your mind thinks it’s doing something good because you’re reacting to it so much. It’s a bit counterintuitive, but the human brain isn’t very smart when it comes down to mental illnesses.
@Nica I am just struggling because I can’t tell if it’s ocd or not. I literally have been living my life these past two weeks as if I have no desire to live anymore. I can’t even feel happiness because my mind tells me that I just want to die. I don’t know how to rewire my brain. The only thing I hold onto is remembering my values/ wants/ and beliefs before all of this.
@Nica I very rarely struggle with the harm ocd anymore. I did exactly what you have mentioned. When I would get a thought about harming my mom, i wouldn’t avoid her, instead I would go sit with her. This “theme” just seems a lot harder for me because I can’t figure out if these are just thoughts or not. I don’t have an answer to this.
@Nica I have tried the “maybe I want to die maybe I don’t” but then my mind just says “I want to die” ugh! I am so exhausted
@Anxiousmindsthinkalike If it’s really a concern and you can’t tell the difference, then you need to seek professional help. Or at least talk to someone that cares about you.
@Nica I have had professional help and have spoke to many people who care about me. I’m not in danger. Just suffering in my mind.
@Nica I was told that these thoughts are just obsessions. Also, OCD lies. It wants you to believe that your thoughts are true. I guess I can’t tell the difference because I have fully believed my thoughts.
@Nica I don’t know if I would be here on this app trying to find answers or reassurance If I had a true desire to die. I think my brain is just confused and tired
@Nica I have so many people who love and care about me, I’ve never felt alone. I have a great family and a great life that’s why I don’t know why I feel like this. It all came so randomly.
@Anxiousmindsthinkalike Then you need to stop seeking reassurance, as you said you just said you’re doing on this app, and work on actively getting better. It starts by putting your foot down against your own mind and not putting up with its shit anymore. You’re in charge, not your OCD.
@Nica Sorry for venting! My biggest problem is that I seek reassurance in hope that someone will tell me that I will be okay, but I guess no one really knows what’s going on in my mind. I’ll get better soon. Thank you for the tips ❤️🩹
@Anxiousmindsthinkalike You’re the only one that can tell yourself you’re okay. It helps that others will tell you but at this point, you have to take control.
Do you have any recommendations for good distractions when trying to resist a compulsion? I feel like I need to distract my brain otherwise I’m just thinking about the thing I’m trying not to do.
Honestly, distractions are only short term solutions. The better way is to stop whatever compulsion you’re doing or about to do and go do something productive. Example: You want to check Twitter and doom scroll. Put down your phone and go to another room where you folder your laundry/clean the bathroom/go out for a walk/etc. it’s better to do something meaningful that also makes you feel accomplished. Also setting up a schedule/daily routine helps a lot. A messy outer world helps a messy mind. Didn’t think that was true for years until I actually went on a daily routine 🤣
@Nica That’s great advice - I never thought about it that way. And a routine will definitely help. Thank you! 🙂
I have trans OCD and have completely lost my identity. Do you think I'll ever get it back?
That is 100% up to you. I can’t say either way because I don’t know you and I’m not a professional therapist. But I do suggest, if you haven’t done it yet, to find an OCD specialist. But know that you can get better if you work at it. It might take a while— it took my 3 years. But it can be done.
@Nica I had a therapist. It didn't help. It's been a year and I've only gotten worse
@Kaylaaaa You can recover on your own but you have to be extremely strict with your mind while also practicing mindfulness, putting yourself on a schedule, and standing up for yourself against your OCD.
Hi hun! Did you ever suffer with the theme SOOCD? X
Hey guys, I hope you’re well! My names Matt, and OCD has struck me again 😂 When I was 10 years old I had to attend therapy as I was having excessive intrusive thoughts. P.s. I didn’t even know this was possible at the age of 10! I then completely forgot about it, until 2.5 years ago when I started experiencing ROCD. I really couldn’t understand why I was feeling/thinking this way however, I soon after remembered my struggles as a child and then realised my OCD had returned. Also, my mum has serious OCD so I guess that could be why too. I had a a really hard battle with my emotions and mood due to this however, the last 1.5 years had been really good and I managed it well. I got married and had the best day of my life. 3 months ago, a thought about having an affair in my head appeared, and BOOM, it’s back again. I’m struggling a lot right now however, I’ve accepted that this could be a re occurring theme throughout my life, and it’s time to learn to deal with it again. I’m back on medication and have started ERP therapy, so hopefully it’s on the up from here. I’m not here to list off my triggers and thoughts as this would be me seeking reassurance however, I’m here to show that recovery is certainly possible!
Hi everyone, I’m Cayla. I’m a mom that’s lived with OCD since childhood, but my breaking point came more recently after having my son. I was consumed by terrifying thoughts—What if I hurt him? What if I did something awful without realizing it? I was so afraid of my own mind that I couldn’t be alone with him. The shame and exhaustion were unbearable, and I convinced myself I was broken. In 2024, I finally sought help. ERP therapy at NOCD was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, but it saved my life. Even now, I have tough days, but I know I don’t have to be ruled by OCD. When my 12 year old daughter began showing signs of OCD, I felt overwhelmed with guilt. I never wanted her to go through what I had, but I knew what to do. I told her that I have OCD too and made sure she knew it wasn’t her fault—and that she wasn’t alone. One of the hardest parts of this journey was trusting someone else with my daughter’s OCD. I knew how vulnerable it feels to share intrusive thoughts, and I wanted her to feel safe. Her NOCD therapist was able to establish trust and genuine empathy from the start, and that relationship gave her the confidence to face ERP head-on. Seeing her build that trust made me certain she was in the right hands. ERP has helped both of us reclaim our lives, and it is beautiful to see my daughter managing her condition and making visible progress. Parenting with OCD while raising a child with OCD isn’t talked about enough, but I know so many parents are struggling with these same challenges. If you have questions about managing OCD while parenting, helping your child through ERP, or breaking cycles of guilt, drop them below—I’d love to share what I’ve learned. I’ll be answering all of the questions I receive in real-time today 4-5pm ET.
December 14, 2024, marked two years since my first ERP therapy session with my NOCD therapist, Mixi. And October 2024 marked a year of being free from OCD. It was not an easy journey, confronting my fears face to face. Exposing myself to the images and thoughts my brain kept throwing at me, accepting that I might be the worst mother, that my daughter wouldn’t love me, and that I deserved to be considered a bad person. It was challenging having to say, “Yes, I am those things,” feeling the desire to run, but realizing the thoughts followed me. At the start of my therapy, I remember feeling like I couldn’t do this anymore. Life felt unbearable, and I felt so weak. I longed for a time before the OCD, before the flare-ups, before the anxiety, the daily panic attacks. I thought I’d never be myself again. But I now know that ERP saved my life. The first couple of sessions were tough. I wasn’t fully present. I lied to my therapist about what my actual thoughts were, fearing judgment. I pretended that the exposures were working, but when the sessions ended, I went back to not sleeping, constantly overwhelmed by fear and anxiety. But my therapist never judged me. She made me feel safe to be honest with her. She understood OCD and never faltered in supporting me, even when I admitted I had been lying and still continued my compulsions. My biggest milestone in therapy was being 100% transparent with my therapist. That was when real change began. At first, I started small—simply reading the words that terrified me: "bad mom," "hated," "unloved." Then, I worked on listening to those words while doing dishes—not completely stopping my rumination, but noticing it. Just 15 minutes, my therapist said. It wasn’t easy. At one point, I found myself thinking, “Will I ever feel like myself again?” But I kept pushing through. Slowly, I built tolerance and moved to face-to-face exposures—sitting alone with my daughter, leaning into the thought that my siblings might die, reading articles about my worst fears, and calling myself the things I feared. Each session was challenging, but with time, the thoughts started to lose their grip. By my eleventh session, I started to realize: OCD was here, and it wasn’t going away, but I could keep living my life despite it. I didn’t need to wait for it to be quiet or go away to move on. Slowly, it began to quiet down, and I started to feel like myself again. In fact, I am not my old self anymore—I’m a better version. OCD hasn’t completely disappeared, but it’s quieter now. Most of the time, it doesn’t speak, and when it does, I know how to handle it. The last session with my therapist was emotional. I cried because I was finishing therapy. I remember how, in the beginning, I cried because I thought it was just starting—because I was overwhelmed and terrified. But at the end, I cried because I was sad it was ending. It felt like I had come so far, and part of me wasn’t ready to say goodbye, even though I had already learned so much. It was a bittersweet moment, but I knew I was walking away stronger, equipped with the tools to handle OCD on my own. If I could change anything about my journey, it would be being open and honest from the beginning. It was the key to finding true healing. The transparency, the honesty—it opened the door to lasting change. I’m no longer that person who was stuck in constant panic. I’m someone who has fought and survived, and while OCD still appears from time to time, I know it doesn’t define me. I'd love to hear your thoughts and comments. Have you started therapy, is something holding you back? Is there something you want to know about ERP therapy? I'll be live in the app answering each and every one today from 6-7pm EST. Please drop them below!
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond
