How do I stop obsessing over a past thought I had? I had this thought a long time ago that really goes against my values now and I thought I accepted it and I even told my mom that and I was freaking out but then I remembered more and I don't think I did accept but now it feels like I must've if I thought I had. Its making me so anxious every day for months I just want this to end.
Comment deleted by user
Okay thank you. I'm trying. But its really hard :( it is especially hard since I talked to my mom. I keep ruminating over that conversation and what I said in it and if that means its real or not :/
@Anonymous Its so hard :( I just don't know how to stop ruminating over the conversation. And I really feel like if I had thought that I accepted this thought in the past then I must've even if later I felt like I didn't. I just don't know how to quit
@Anonymous Thank you! And I'm too scared to share it yet with anyone but my counselor but maybe I will someday. Also could you clarify what you ran by accept the situation you face now is here and you can't change it?
@Anonymous Okay that makes sense! I will try to remember that as I battle my ocd! Thank you so much for the replies :)
@Anonymous Thats a good idea honestly! If it doesn't work, oh well keep working on it but if it works, (even if its placebo ;) its worth it!
Comment deleted by user
I'm so sorry :( if you want to talk about it I'm here
Hi Everyone! I hope whoever is reading this is having a good day so far :) So for years now I’ve had very bad intrusive thoughts about things that I have done or embarrassing things that I’ve said or have happened and it’s mortifying and debilitating on a daily basis. Specifically these thoughts are mainly things that have occurred from 2018-2020 and some are more simple just as a stupid joke I made or being way too loud on calls while my family was trying to sleep and others being way more complex such as past relationships and how I’ve hurt some of the people I care the most about and when I have acted on intrusive thoughts and these thoughts will appear with no triggers at all I’ll just wake up and already have something I did just nagging me. I don’t want to live like this anymore and I’ve tried working through it with self compassion but sometimes the things I said or did back then it’s very hard to forgive myself for and I’ll reminisce on it for hours on hours, gaslight myself into believing that’s not how it happened and try to change the memory itself, or just suppress it entirely. I know those habits aren’t healthy and truly I want to get better but I don’t know how to overcome some of these thoughts. I have talked to my fiancé about this a few times and even today we talked about it and he fully supports me and is helping me work through it. I might also contact my sister too, I don’t talk to her overly too much but ever since I was little she’s thought I’ve had ocd and was one of the people who made me consider that I might have it (I’m still undiagnosed but I’ll try to when I have the money and time) and I know she could maybe provide some insight. Another thing that is troublesome about the situation is my other family members specifically my mom aren’t the most helpful and can trigger thoughts. To put it in perspective on how her thought process is and some background info she is an ER nurse and has been for 30 years due to this she believes she knows mainly everything there is about mental health and she gets extremely upset when I don’t take her advice or set boundaries. She’ll force me to talk to her about my problems and when I don’t want to she’ll pin me in a corner where I’m forced to and last summer I had a really bad episode and was really overstimulated and I just finished taking a shower and due to the water on me, my hair being wet (my hair is naturally curly and it takes forever to dry and it’s very draining taking care of even with a keratin treatment) and all the intrusive thoughts I was having and she forced me to talk to her and I did open up for the first time about my thoughts and brought up how sometimes I have thoughts of hurting my animals and it makes me physically sick. Her response to this was threatening to call the cops on me saying it was a behavioral thing and I was doing it for attention. I have never hurt any of my animals but later that day my cat came into my room and a few minutes later she comes up just gives me the death stare and after a few seconds just asks me “are you going to go kill snickers?” In the most condescending tone and she’s always like this daily where she’ll force advice onto me or get upset and yell and then reinforce thoughts I’m having. I just want to know first how to stop the thoughts from so frequently and how to heal in an environmental where it keeps reopening wounds despite trying to place boundaries? I’m sorry this is really long I usually do go really in detail about things and it’s just how I’ve always been. If anyone has any questions feel free to ask and I’ll answer them to the best of my ability. I really appreciate the time you took to read this and thank you for your help! 🥰
So I had a panic attack a while ago to “kill mom” and I forgot about the thought until a few days later. When it came back I was mentally drained and it lasted for 2 months or more. It eventually went away but it is back. I get other intrusive thoughts but they go away after a hour or so. Why am I stressing over “kill mom” so much. I just get irritated that it won’t go away. I’m beginning to think it’s a different mental illness maybe just anxiety? I’m not sure to be honest. It just appears and sits there and I feel like I’m doomed and a pyscho and worry that I’ll never forget the thought.
I’m tired of thinking about the same OCD thought to “kill mom” it just doesn’t leave. I try to break the cycle but when it’s broken it just sits there and waits to be interacted with. Idk what to do im tired of it. And it makes me feel like a psycho path and I’m tired of not feeling like myself.
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond
