- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
Tell him that. Tell him the outcome you want and maybe it’ll lead to more of a convo.
- Date posted
- 3y
Yeah he knows I want to get back together & how I feel but I’ll obviously get more in depth on how I feel…
- Date posted
- 3y
I feel like both of you might be holding back, it’s ultimately both of your decision to get back together or not, but if you both had wanted to be together 100% then why the hesitation? Has whatever caused you both to take a break in the first place been resolved? The point where you said he mentioned it’s kind of all or nothing (together or never speaking again) sounded a bit manipulative to me. Kind of like he was pushing you to feel like this was an urgent decision, and being rushed makes us desperate for an answer even if we’re not 100% sure it’s the right one. If there was no date set to talk, and no timeline, and had he not said that, would you currently want to be with him? Or would you need more time to figure yourself out? The last time someone gave me an ultimatum like that, I was told that I “would never find someone who will accept [me] for the things [i’ve] done in the past” so I should just hurry up and decide to be with him. That was obvious manipulation, but it still made me feel like crap and that I did have to be with him because maybe he was right (he was wrong obvs lol). Not saying that your ex is intending to be manipulative here, but just breathe and take your time. And if the talk tomorrow goes the opposite way and he’s not ready to get together again, take this as an opportunity to find yourself, then find someone who won’t hesitate even for a second about being with you. Someone who will love you and not need a formal break from you, and not cause you to feel scared or unsure of yourself. You got this, whatever you decide is up to you, you don’t need to validate yourself and your decisions to others-just yourself. Make sure this is what you want, and are happy with, and that you’re willing to experience this discomfort in the future should another break happen again.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w
S-so uhm my bf (?) and I have been a little distant and his spotify yesterday was the same where it says that he's my future husband, and today, it was changed. L-like, i-is he g-go-gonna break up with me??? I'm so scared I'm nauseous and I don't want this stress to cause another seizure, but also kinda don't care at the same time because it would ha-have to be my fault??
- Date posted
- 16w
Hey everyone. I hope you all are doing okay. I’m currently struggling in the worse way I have through the course of my relationship. We are doing long distance right now, and I am unfortunately in the worse place I have been in. The uncertainty is absolutely unbearable. He is doing a cool new, consuming job 7 hours a way. He loves it, but I fear him loving the job so much that he stops caring about me. I have definitely noticed a shift in the amount of time he texts me and the energy he can give to the relationship. The job actually started off with 2 weeks of no phone. He has it again now though. We saw each other a couple of days ago in person for the last time we would in about two months. I was okayish when we were in person though I knew I would spiral later. And spiral I did. He left and I broke down. I am worried I will lose him. I start a really intensive EMT program in a week. It will be all-consuming for me. I can’t sleep very much and I don’t feel like eating. I know it’s pathetic. I am constantly consumed by these fears. I think I know what I need to do to combat them. Accept uncertainty but it feels like the possibly of it ending feels more real than ever. And I literally can NOT stop thinking about it. My brain feels in danger!!! I just worry that bad stuff is actually happening. I think we are going through a rough patch, but I also just feel more alone than ever. Drowning in my mind. What do I believe? I have a past of ocd, so it wouldn’t be surprised if it’s getting intertwined. Most people would say: it’s okay to ask him for reassurance about the relationship!!! But I feel like that’s the trap for me. I don’t know how to move forward. I know things are tough for us right now. But I’ve been floating back and forth on a spectrum of well maybe I just have trust to maybe this literally won’t work out!!! Texting and communicating over text is really hard for me. I am constantly analyzing it: how much energy is he giving? How much energy am I giving? Well I don’t want to do all the emotional labor, and be the main texter. But I also don’t care about texting that much and get exhausted with this back and forth.
- Date posted
- 16w
I broke up with my boyfriend today because of how bad my anxiety had gotten I couldn’t tell what was my heart and what was my head. I’m heartbroken because I feel like I lost my best friend and I truly do have love for him and want him in my future. I want to spend the rest of my life with him. We broke up because I’m not on medication for my anxiety and have a doctor’s appointment coming up on Wednesday to see about getting some. I still feel anxious after our breaks but I feel guilty to admit that I do feel better. I’m still just anxious in general a little and I don’t know why. We had decided to stay in touch but not on a daily or even weekly basis, just because there is no hate in our relationship just pure love. I’m just so scared and sad that I really will lose him and be all alone.
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond