Ok so my ocd theme is narcissism right. I posted this on tumblr and someone that has npd replied, I feel bad for freaking out bc it’s not their fault they have it and it’s so stigmatized but at the same time it feels like such a huge exposure that I wasn’t ready for. Their comment looks like something I would say, so I can’t rule out having npd based off of it. Just looking at the word makes me feel sick and I really wanna look at her profile but I can’t bring myself to. Previously the only thing that’s rly comforted me is the fact that I might not have npd bc I have a lot of empathy, but this girl seems really nice. Fuuuuuuuck The last line is “disproving the catastrophic thinking trap, because it really isn’t the end of the world to have it even if it’s hard sometimes” She’s right but I was not ready

Thank you, I actually love that quote- to me acting with it makes a lot more sense than sitting with it

@Liz Lake I know this is a dead post but that quote feels like a revelation. Thanks for sharing!

Hi! A lot of the time they involve me ruminating on if my thoughts or actions were morally correct / signs of narcissism, and to correct it sometimes I go out of my way to do the right thing. Basically anything I do / thought I had my brain tells me it’s for attention and for myself rather than bc I want to do it. I’ve been told I don’t have it but feel the compulsion to check a lot

@alittleshrimp If I’m out and abt I’ll usually think “maybe this person is attracted to me” constantly, and brain is telling me I want attention etc and am a narcissist

@alittleshrimp Or thoughts telling me I’m with my boyfriend as a supply and don’t care about him

@alittleshrimp Thank you! I kinda recognize myself in these thoughts that you are describing. I don’t think they are an ocd theme of mine but I think them sometimes!

@kctg Obviously I didn’t mean that I genuinely think that, but more like intrusive thoughts but not so connected to anxiety anymore if you understand lol

@kctg Yes that totally makes sense :)

I’m glad you mentioned nod Reddit forums. I’ve always been way too scared to go on them but actually browsed them as a form of exposure during therapy. It didn’t help me either unfortunately, ends up as a form of reassurance that I don’t have it. I’m glad you’re doing better dealing with it!

@alittleshrimp Npd *

@alittleshrimp Yeah I would seek reassurance on there constantly back then lmao. It has gotten better but I do still have those “oh no is that how I am?” Moments whenever I hear someone else being called a narcissist. I think it doesn’t help that it’s become a buzzword to throw around on social media these days. Either way I just wanted to let you know I’ve read your other posts on this thread and can relate to them 100%. Even though it isn’t a major theme for me right now it’s nice to know I’m not alone!

@alyrenz Yes the fact that it’s a buzzword definitely makes it difficult, especially when 99% of the same people say narcissist they’re not describing actual npd. Definitely glad to know that other people can relate (like sucks that u have to deal with it but ya know what I mean)

@alittleshrimp * 99% of the time

Wow this literally feels like you’re reading my mind, everything you said is spot on. Counting how much I speak in a conversation, worrying whether it’s about myself, and then the spiral of thinking about being a narcissist and then thinking that being so focused on it is narcissistic. It’s such an endless cycle. I’m glad you were able to discover that it’s ocd, I had the same issues w therapists. If they’re not trained in ocd they end up just giving a ton of reassurance. Glad u were able to get over the theme!

Crazy to hear that someon else does the exact same things