Racism OCD?

my biggest obsession is about possibly being racist (i’m confident that i’m not racist). it was germ fear before, but that has subsided and now im obsessed with not being racist. can anyone relate? how do you deal with socially-driven obsessions? i have invasive thoughts whenever i’m around anyone who isnt a close friend.

Racism OCD. Thinking I'm a bad person and feel ashamed around POC I know this is going to sound horrible, but I've recently started to worry when I'm around POC, like im an annoyance. I didn't start to worry like this until a few months ago. I don't know what's happened. I notice myself when I'm on a walk or out in public that I'll start to feel anxiety that I'm racist. Or maybe when I see a POC I automatically assume they think I'm racist? I know I'm white and part of the systemic racism problem & that I'm privileged to be a white man. I consider myself to be a Black Lives Matter/People of Color ally. I just don't know why I'm anxious. I'm pretty sure POC around me can tell as well. I don't know why my anxiety has picked up on this. Does anyone else struggle with this?

Convinced I'm a racist, even though it's the complete opposite of my morals & what I believe. - - - - - - I've currently been struggling with something that is going to make me sound like a piece of shit, even I recognize how messed up it's going to sound. Over the past couple months, I have been worrying about the proper way to interact with POC without coming across as racist. I know, this is already awful. I consider myself to be an ally who supports POC & civil rights movements. I'm ashamed of white people honestly, we've oppressed POC from the beginning of time. I'm personally ashamed of my white ethnicity. I've been even more so in the past year. I feel like my OCD has recently attached to this though. At least, I think it has, or maybe it's guilt knowing I'm white and part of systemic racism problem as a whole. When I pass a POC on the street, or in a place of business, I'll immediately start to get thoughts like "Am I coming across as rude? Am I being nice enough? Am I being too nice? Am I smiling too much? Am I smiling enough? Do I look uncomfortable? This isn't about me, so why am I anxious? Stop being so self centered. Are you appearing racist? What if this POC thinks I'm racist? That's awful to assume what they think. Stop making this about you!" And basically the entire time I'm trying to interact with someone of color, I have all this anxious dialogue in my head and I probably physically appear to be anxious, which in turn I'm sure the other person thinks "Why are they acting so tense/afraid?" It's not that I'm afraid, or dislike POC, I'm way too overly cautious, I recognize that, and it's actually coming across as racist. And I don't want to make this about me, because it's not, I can only imagine the racism POC have to endure on a daily basis. It's like my own OCD/anxiety is getting in the way. I hate it. I want to get over it. I don't know why it's coming up, but I want to get past this.