Others seem to know it’s “not real.”
I’ve had the same themes (all in the taboo pedophilia/harm/incest/bestiality/etc. realm, with one the worst of them all) since I was a child. They never change. And I hear a lot of people with OCD saying, “I know it isn’t real, I just can’t stop thinking about it!” For me, it isn’t like that. My themes feel 100% real, and they don’t shift around. And sometimes reading things that other people with OCD have written where they say that “I know it’s not real” line, or hearing people with OCD talk about how frequently their themes change, makes me feel isolated even within the OCD community. Sometimes that makes me feel like I’m an even worse case, or am “different,” andy themes are just a real thing for me, like OCD likes to taunt us sufferers about. I’m just looking for some listening ears, and maybe some people who understand the OCD experience that I have, that sometimes seems a little different from other people’s.