melissaaa

Date posted: 3y

Ppl with hocd

I was wondering do you have intrusive thoughts saying that you are already gay? Bc I know ocd is normally about what if… but for me my brain keep telling myself that I am gay and therefore I can’t stop looking at women in the street to see if I’m attracted or not… it’s so hard. Sm when I’m with my bf I have thought coming saying this is wrong you should be with a girl… not a boy… i just wanna know if some ppl have experience the same thing then me… I know I love my bf and I wanna be with him deep down I know it.

Smite

Date posted: 3y

Hey. Yea mine was pretty much the same. It felt like I was lying to them the whole time and felt the need to like confess it, even though it was ocd.

melissaaa

Date posted: 3y

Hey so is it better now

Anonymous..a

Date posted: 3y

Yes (although I am a boy), I find women attractive but whenever I see a man having a good physique or a good dressing sense, I immediately question myself, am i gay? Am i getting inspired from that guy or getting attracted to that guy? And the whole cycle of obsessions and compulsions continue, Me seeking self-reassurance, Googling articles about hocd to see if my symptoms are true, etc. I try my best not to enter this circle but sometimes it's just unbearable and then i have to check for reassurance through several compulsions ( mostly mental rituals)....

melissaaa

Date posted: 3y

Yeah that’s weird for me cause my brain keeps telling me that I am gay… when I know I’m not deep down what bothers me is that I have a boyfriend and sm the thoughts are actually telling me that it’s wrong and that I should be with a girl 🥲 bc I am gay ( it doesn’t make sense I know) even if I kiss a girl don’t like it I’m sure ocd will keep telling me that I am gay.

melissaaa

Date posted: 3y

What bothers me is that I can’t stop looking at women in the street to she if I am attracted but it’s so badddd that I’m looking at every women 😅😂 it’s just feel so real sm. and the Pb too is that at first It was Rocd who’s know hocd…

Anonymous

Date posted: 3y

@melissaaa Hey ocd is a pain in the ass I know. The compulsions are very strong try your best not to engage in them, when you find yourself looking to see if you have attraction, that’s the compulsion. Don’t do it. Just keep walking. I’ve done this checking sensations too when my main theme shifted for a period of time to another theme. The funny thing is I’m actually a lesbian lol It’s so interesting how our brains work and what our ocd focuses on. In the end it’s just a chemical imbalance. For example, mine is based on death/ decomposition. We’re all in this together for support. You’ll be fine just try your best to not do the compulsions, I also really suggest reading Brain lock that book helped me a lot!

melissaaa

Date posted: 3y

@Anonymous Thank you to be honest it got so bad I’m anxious everytime I’m seeing a woman… idk if you experience that too… but yes thanks good luck

Anonymous

Date posted: 3y

@melissaaa I’m sorry to hear that. Ocd is tough. I mean I don’t get anxious when I see a woman because I am actually gay lol But I know the exact feeling of anxiety when an obsession is triggered, so for me it would be a funeral home or a cemetary for example. But it’s all ocd what we have, no matter the subject. The goal is to face the fear and live with it don’t run from it. Thank you same to you you’ll get better

melissaaa

Date posted: 3y

@Anonymous I hope so 😅

melissaaa

Date posted: 3y

@Anonymous Thank you 🙏

melissaaa

Date posted: 3y

@Anonymous I’m not running from it :) but the anxiety can be very bad

Anonymous

Date posted: 3y

@melissaaa I understand, I know it’s very difficult, do whatever you can to help yourself, a good diet, exercise, nature, doing things you enjoy, therapy medicine if necessary whatever you choose, just keep going as long as you keep pulling through you WILL get better

Smite

Date posted: 3y

Haha, I don't mean to be a bummer or make that lead to u feeling bad, but we broke up a month ago. It's been pretty shit. She just couldn't take it anymore, and it was always so weird and i was never 100 open about my ocd, she knew I had it, but i never spoke in detail really. And intimacy was always really bad. From the start. She couldn't take it anymore.

Anonymous

Date posted: 24w

anyone else?

So I’ve SOOCD since I was in 8 th grade and it got really bad when I had an intrusive thought as to what if I was bi. And ever since then I’ve had self destructive behavior to where I would think the thoughts on purpose or about women and checking them out and flirting with them. ( I identify as straight) and over time these thoughts and self destructive behavior hasn’t bothered me and now they feel apart of me I know apart of it is ocd but also it’s me like me willingly looking at women and me wanting to have sexual thoughts or feel aroused and in reality if I never had ocd I would never think this way I could live without women and never sleeping with them I do have a bf and I love him and am attracted to him rn thought bc of what happened last night with a women it’s hard to feel that can anyone relate?

Elliesmith

Date posted: 23w

Is this ocd

So my whole life I’ve been heterosexual. I have got hocd so I worry I’m a lesbian when I have no reason to worry about it because im straight ( not that my ocd likes to think that tho lol! ). But there’s this thought I have, How do I know I’m 100% straight if I haven’t tried sleeping with a girl? Bear in mind I’ve NEVER WANTED TO and DONT want too. Hence why it is an INTRUSIVE thought. But the thought is so uncomfortable- I can’t seem to shift it. But i do see that THIS IS OCD & wanting to know for certain. Thats the definition of OCD. I do know that but it’s tough with the stupid doubts!!! Do you guys just live with the unknown / uncertainty. I’m so happy and love my boyfriend and only want to be with him etc. Let me say again, I DONT want to sleep with a girl nor have I ever fantasized about it. But why does ocd want 100% certainty.. I just wanna not have that weird niggling thought.

vaiiolyn

Date posted: 20w

Lesbian with Sexual Orientation OCD

I need too know that I'm not insane, really. I am 16 and for the past two weeks, this has been completely ruining my health and happiness. I only recently came out as a lesbian like 3 months ago after a lot of confusion about my attraction since I used to think I liked men. At first, I felt so sure that I liked women, but lately, I've been having these unwanted thoughts about the possibility of liking men. I never used to feel this way, but now, every time I look at a man, my brain obsessively fixates on it. It forces me to imagine kissing him, loving him, things I don’t want, and then tries to convince me that I do. It’s painful. The thought of this fills me with fear and anxiety, leading to panic attacks and breakdowns. I don’t want these thoughts. I hate them with every fiber of my being, but I’m terrified that one day I’ll act on them and somehow like it. I used to think I liked men, but back then, I was in a very unhealthy space in a time of escapism and something deeply parasocial. I’ve only ever liked the attention and validation a man could give me, but these experiences are somehow treated as further proof that I’m "bisexual." I’ve never been in a real relationship with anyone, which makes my brain constantly challenge me—telling me, “You don’t even know what love feels like.” It won’t shut up. It keeps obsessively trying to make me prove that I’m a lesbian, testing my reactions and questioning my certainty. Is this normal?

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond

Ppl with hocd

Related posts

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Be a part of the largest OCD Community