- Date posted
- 3y
Real-Event OCD + Cancel Culture
This is mostly a rant, but I feel as if “Cancel Culture” has caused a significant rise in people dealing with the Real-Event subtype. Never before did I think much about my past mistakes, when I looked back on them I felt content in saying, “I’ve learned, I was a kid, I’ve changed, and I’m moving on.” But with the rise of cancel culture in online spaces in recent years, it feels harder and harder to treat my past mistakes with grace. I don’t look at who I used to be and see a kid who was still learning about the world and figuring things out through trial and error, but instead some horrible monster who I have to make sure I hide from any public eye lest I be insulted/ridiculed/ostracized for actions committed over 10 years ago. It’s caused me unmatched levels of guilt and shame, for the past two years I’ve spent every day haunted by things I would’ve ordinarily just written off as a dumb 15 year old being a dumb 15 year old. I gave up pursuing my dream job because I couldn’t stand the idea of becoming well-known and having my past brought up on a public forum, and I now live the most mediocre, devoid of passion, boring life. When does this cycle end? When does this perpetual regret and guilt leave? How am I supposed to live in the present if I spend so much time fearing being dragged into my past- so much so that I now live in my past? If these mistakes were to be put on display, would people forgive me? Would I be deplatformed for good? Would I lose my life more than I already have?